Project and content management for Contemporary Authors volumes
WORK TITLE: The Fangirl Life
WORK NOTES:
PSEUDONYM(S):
BIRTHDATE: 1985
WEBSITE: https://fangirltherapy.com/
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY:
NATIONALITY:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathleen-smith-6959748b * http://www.themarysue.com/interview-kathleen-smith-the-fangirl-life/
RESEARCHER NOTES:
PERSONAL
Born 1985.
EDUCATION:Harvard University, B.A., 2007; George Washington University, master’s degree, 2010.
ADDRESS
CAREER
Licensed therapist and journalist. Freelance journalist, 2012—; Bowen Center for the Study of the Family, Washington, DC, clinical intern, 2013-14; Woodley House, Inc., Washington, DC, licensed professional counselor, 2014-16; Trinity Washington University, Washington, DC, adjunct professor, 2014—; Re-New Psychological Services, Washington, DC, counselor, 2016—.
WRITINGS
Contributor to Web sites and periodicals, including Salon, Slate, xoJane, Lifehacker, Mary Sue, HelloGiggles, Bustle, AfterPartyChat, Thought Catalog, Amplified Life Media, Monitor on Psychology, GradPsych, Family Therapy, Psychotherapy Networker, and Counseling Today.
SIDELIGHTS
Kathleen Smith is a licensed therapist and mental health journalist. In addition to authoring the Fangirl Therapy blog, Smith has published in Web sites and periodicals, including Salon and Slate, as well as professional journals, such as Monitor on Psychology, Family Therapy, and Counseling Today. Smith works as a counselor and therapist in Washington, DC, and also lectures at Trinity Washington University.
Smith published her first book, The Fangirl Life: A Guide to Feeling All the Feels and Learning How to Deal, in 2016. The account uses Smith’s experiences as a fangirl to show the positive aspects of this often stigmatized lifestyle status and the ways in which it can inspire oneself and others. Smith pushes the idea that fangirls need not drop their personality quirks as they become women, offering a series of exercises to help one develop the ability to stand by one’s opinions and ideals and cope with conflict in a constructive manner.
In an interview for the Mary Sue Web site, Smith talked with Carly Lane about how she incorporates being a fangirl into her professional life. Smith admitted, “There’s a certain level of vulnerability you develop as a fangirl. Your fangirl friends often see the silliest, most emotional, and most determined parts of your personality. And I think that engaging with that level of honesty and vulnerability helps me as a writer and a counselor.” Smith continued: “Obviously I’m not going to be disclosing personal information to a therapy client, but I think writing more honestly about fangirling has toughened my skin. I’m less likely to fret more about what people think about me. People think all kinds of things about everyone! Especially on the Internet! But we can’t let that stop us from being our authentic selves in the world. It’s true for fangirling, and it’s true for your life offline.”
A contributor interviewing Smith for the Daily Fandom Web site inquired about the extent to which she drew from her own inspirations and experiences as a fangirl to write The Fangirl Life. Smith declared, “In many ways this book is a letter to myself and my close friends about how fangirling can help us become the women we were meant to be. I’ve felt the highs and the lows of crying about a ship or an actress or a TV show, so it’s not difficult to put myself in that perspective.”
In an interview in the Cozy Reading Corner blog, Smith insisted that she has never thought “of a fangirl or client I was working with as needing ‘fixing.’ I love the idea of seeing my own life and the lives of others as a narrative. So I see myself more as an ‘unfinished’ creature. Accepting your humanity means accepting that you are a work in progress, whether you’re a fangirl or not. So I think the book celebrates that unfinishedness, and it hopefully can help a fangirl to see herself as a person who is growing, challenging her biases, allowing other people to inspire her, and learning new ways to practice self-compassion.”
A contributor to Publishers Weekly commented that the book’s “adolescent tone can occasionally be a bit cloying.” However, the contributor affirmed that Smith “pulls it off.” In a review in the Hypable Web site, Selina Wilken remarked that the book “offers its reader strategies for becoming a strong female character in the story of her own life, while providing some.” Wilken claimed: “This book is for you, the fangirl, who already knows everything there is to know about the celebrity, show, ship or character she stans. It’s for you if, ‘you feel like your obsessions are keeping you from the life you want.’ And from there, this book just might just be the nudge you need in the right direction.” Wilken appended: “Full of fandom references, anecdotes and advice, The Fangirl Life is like a little fandom friend in your pocket, comforting you and reminding you that you’re not alone.”
A contributor reviewing the book in the Geeky Mama Web site observed, “It’s obvious from reading this book Smith is not only an awesome fangirl she’s a very good therapist and she’s at a great place in her life and career with balancing those two aspects of her personality and so much more. And she’s kind enough to let us in on the secret of how we can move to that point, too.” In a review in the Sweety High Web site, Amanda Pillon reasoned, “In the end, it’s really all about being a mindful, civil fangirl who’s in control of her own emotions. If you feel like you’re ready to be not just a fangirl, but a fanwoman, you can’t miss The Fangirl Life.” A contributor to the Nerdophiles Web site proclaimed that Smith’s volume “really is the perfect book for every single fangirl out there. Even if you’re not a fangirl and just an overall geek girl, pick up this book. While you might not think you need it, Smith knows just what you’re thinking and her descriptions of fangirl behavior are spot on. You’re going to see a lot of yourself in this book.” Writing in the Unbound Worlds Web site, Matt Staggs assured readers that “The Fangirl Life is a witty guide to putting your passions to use in your offline life.”
BIOCRIT
BOOKS
Smith, Kathleen, The Fangirl Life: A Guide to Feeling All the Feels and Learning How to Deal, TarcherPerigee (New York, NY), 2016
PERIODICALS
Publishers Weekly, April 11, 2016, review of The Fangirl Life, p. 48.
ONLINE
Cozy Reading Corner, http://the-crc.blogspot.com/ (July 1, 2016), author interview.
Daily Fandom, http://thedailyfandom.com/ (May 3, 2016), author interview.
Geeky Mama, http://geeky-mama.com/ (July 1, 2016), review of The Fangirl Life.
Hypable, http://www.hypable.com/ (July 4, 2016), Selina Wilken, review of The Fangirl Life.
Kathleen Smith Home Page, https://fangirltherapy.com (February 21, 2017).
Mary Sue, http://www.themarysue.com/ (July 6, 2016), Carly Lane, author interview.
Nerdophiles, http://www.nerdophiles.com/ (July 18, 2016), review of The Fangirl Life.
Sweety High, https://www.sweetyhigh.com/ (July 28, 2016), Amanda Pillon, review of The Fangirl Life.
Unbound Worlds, http://www.unboundworlds.com/ (July 6, 2016), Matt Staggs, review of The Fangirl Life.
Interview: Kathleen Smith, Author of The Fangirl Life
by Carly Lane | 1:09 pm, July 6th, 2016
cover
Kathleen Smith is, by her own admission, an unabashed fangirl. In addition to being a licensed therapist and a mental health journalist, she runs a site called Fangirl Therapy, where she answers fandom-related questions and publishes pieces about her own fandom experiences.
She’s also a TMS contributor, having published a piece for us last year on Mental Health Awareness Week—and her new book, The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal, was just published by Penguin Random House! TMS caught up with Smith via email to dive into a discussion on her new book and how we can relate our fandom life to our IRL experiences.
The Mary Sue: In The Fangirl Life, you talk about the ways in which we can take our fandom obsessions and apply them to other aspects of our lives. Is there a part of your fangirling you’ve been able to recently use in your career?
Kathleen Smith: Absolutely. There’s a certain level of vulnerability you develop as a fangirl. Your fangirl friends often see the silliest, most emotional, and most determined parts of your personality. And I think that engaging with that level of honest and vulnerability helps me as a writer and a counselor. Obviously I’m not going to be disclosing personal information to a therapy client, but I think writing more honestly about fangirling has toughened my skin. I’m less likely to fret more about what people think about me. People think all kinds of things about everyone! Especially on the Internet! But we can’t let that stop us from being our authentic selves in the world. It’s true for fangirling, and it’s true for your life offline.
TMS: What are some upsides of being a fangirl?
KS: I like to tell people to imagine how they feel when they’re watching their favorite team in the World Series or the Super Bowl. And then I explain to them that fangirls get to experience that level of emotion ON THE REGULAR. We can never live a perfect life, but we can certainly live an enthusiastic one. Fangirls don’t hang up their imaginations like many adults do. We don’t passively enjoy things. We are active participants in the media we love, which means we’re going to have a lot of fun and make a lot of friends along the way. What better life is there than that?
TMS: That being said, what are the most common misconceptions about fangirls?
KS: A lot of people imagine fangirls as having a one-track mind. But we can have successful careers and relationships and still cry about our OTP. We’re the ultimate multi-taskers. If anything, my fangirl interests expand my world. I recently became obsessed with Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, and months later I’m reading histories of Australia and famous literature from the country. Fandom has also taught me a lot about representation in media and identity issues that seven years of grad school certainly never did! So I think the misconception that our eyes aren’t open is false. They most definitely are. Fangirls are going to make mistakes, and sometimes hurt people, and maybe even get a little too invested in an interest. But what part of that isn’t a part of being human? We’re not broken. We’re just continuing to learn and grow like anyone else.
TMS: You answer questions from fangirls as a part of your blog, fangirltherapy.com. What are some of the best ways we can cope with our overwhelming feels?
KS: Coping skills are as diverse as the things that cause our feels. I encourage people to play detective and carefully observe their thoughts and emotions. We have to pay attention to what gives us energy and peace and take notes. For me, it’s putting down the technology. I take a walk almost every evening. I leave my phone at home and squee over the cute neighborhood dogs and take some deep breaths. Other people find that keeping a journal or calling a friend can help. I’m also a big advocate of doing something nice for someone else. It’s amazing how much writing a thank you note or sending encouraging words to someone can calm my mind.
TMS: What are some of the aspects of fangirling that we can incorporate into our IRL, non-fandom environments?
KS: One of the main themes in The Fangirl Life is rooting for yourself the way you root for your favorite character. When we fangirl, we are so quick to forgive our favorites. We understand that there are going to be setbacks and mistakes along the way for them, because that’s a part of character development. So why can’t we do the same thing for ourselves? Seeing a crappy day as an opportunity for character development can help you not feel so caught up in the moment. It’s not an easy skill to learn, and it takes practice. But reframing a situation just at tiny bit can make a huge difference.
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TMS: Which fictional character do you most strive to emulate (or avoid acting like) on a daily basis and why?
KS: Oh man. SO MANY. I have a whole crowd of characters in my head who try their best to nudge me towards self-improvement, whether I want to or not. I like to describe it as an independent study course where I glean as much wisdom as I can from one character and then move on to the next. Whether it’s Leslie Knope or Cristina Yang or Diane Lockhart, I try my best to pay attention. As far as avoiding, I think deep down we all have that Gaius Baltar quality of acting solely out of our own self-interest. So I have to constantly challenge myself to remember to consider someone else’s perspective. At the end of the day, if my focus is only on me and saving my own ass, then I haven’t really accomplished much.
TMS: What are your personal long-time fandoms?
KS: I lurked on the LOST message boards for a long time, but my first was definitely the Glee fandom. I hopped off after a few seasons, but I made a lot of lifelong friends. I was also obsessed with Battlestar Galactica, but I was mainly active in the “Mary McDonnell hair” contingent. My fandom experience usually revolves around actress worship rather than a show or story. It’s a long list of women who continue to both ruin and make my life.
TMS: Is there anything you’ve recently been fangirling out over, or a show that you can’t quite seem to get into (even though everyone else is)?
KS: Lately I’ve been catching up on a lot of shows that don’t have much of a fandom (that I know of at least). I watched Happy Valley and was absolutely floored by Sarah Lancashire’s performance. Same with The Americans. I also really loved Season 1 of The Expanse on SyFy, but few people on my social media seemed to be watching.
Dare I say it, but one phenomenon I haven’t really gotten into is Hamilton. Obviously Lin-Manuel Miranda is a genius, and the music is phenomenal, but I was a history major in college and have always been a John Adams girl. I feel like once you pick a founding father, you have to stay true to them. Sorry, Alexander!
TMS: If you could describe your book as one season of a TV show, which one would it be?
KS: Breaking Bad, Season 5. Kidding! I think it has a similar spirit as the first season of Glee. I’m thinking of that Rachel Berry quote, “Being part of something special makes you special.” But hopefully the analogy ends there! I wouldn’t want a second book to turn out like Season 2 of a Ryan Murphy show. If people take anything away from The Fangirl Life, I’d hope it’s that fangirling is about being an active participant in a story. We all bring our own quirky characteristics to fandom, and people will always have a lot of things to say about you, but we can’t hide from our authentic selves. Fandom doesn’t have to be a competition. When we surround ourselves with people with similar passions, we can do great things and create a lot of joy.
The Fangirl Life is available now from Penguin Random House.
Kathleen Smith
Mental Health Writer and Counselor
Washington, District Of ColumbiaMental Health Care
Current
Re-New Psychological Services, Freelance Writer, Trinity Washington University
Previous
Woodley House, Inc., Amplified Life Media, The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family
Education
The George Washington University
175
connectionsSend Kathleen InMailMore options
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathleen-smith-6959748b
Contact Info
Background
Summary
Kathleen is a licensed professional counselor and PhD candidate in Counseling. A graduate of George Washington University and Harvard University, she also works as a mental health journalist. She’s written for popular websites like Salon, Slate, Lifehacker, Bustle, HelloGiggles, AfterPartyChat, and Thought Catalog.
Kathleen is also a frequent contributor to professional publications such as GradPsych, Monitor on Psychology, Psychotherapy Networker, Family Therapy, and Counseling Today. Her book, The Fangirl Life: All the Feels (and How to Deal), was published by Penguin Random House 2016. She is represented by Hannah Brown Gordon of Foundry Literary + Media.
Kathleen is a student of Bowen Family Systems Theory and trained in the postgraduate program at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family from 2012-2014. She also teaches as an adjunct professor at Trinity Washington University.
Learn more about her work at kathleensmith.net.
Experience
Counselor
Re-New Psychological Services
October 2016 – Present (5 months)600 Pennsylvania Ave SE, Washington, DC
Providing individual therapy and counseling services.
Mental Health Journalist and Author
Freelance Writer
August 2012 – Present (4 years 7 months)Washington, DC
Writer and reporter contributing to publications such as Salon, Slate, Lifehacker, Psychotherapy Networker, Monitor on Psychology, gradPSYCH, Counseling Today, Family Therapy, and Thought Catalog.
Kathleen's book The Fangirl Life was published by Perigee Books/Penguin in 2016. She is represented by Hannah Brown Gordon of Foundry Literary + Media.
Adjunct Professor
Trinity Washington University
2014 – Present (3 years)Washington, DC
Instructor for Grief and Loss Counseling, Ethics, Theories of Counseling, Family Therapy, and Group Counseling courses.
QP - Licensed Professional Counselor
Woodley House, Inc.
May 2014 – December 2016 (2 years 8 months)washington, dc
Providing professional development and supervision to clinical staff.
Staff Writer
Amplified Life Media
May 2014 – February 2016 (1 year 10 months)
Sourcing, writing, and editing behavioral health content.
Clinical Intern
The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family
June 2013 – May 2014 (1 year)washington, dc
Skills
Top Skills
9Psychotherapy
8Psychology
5Family Therapy
5Mental Health
4Mental Health Counseling
3Nonprofits
3Community Outreach
2Clinical Research
2Therapists
2Teaching
Kathleen also knows about...
1Adolescents
Publications
Individual Counselling
Education
The George Washington University
The George Washington University
Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.), Counseling
2011 – 2017
The George Washington University
The George Washington University
Master's Degree, Rehabilitation Counseling
2009 – 2010
Harvard University
Harvard University
Bachelor's Degree, History
2003 – 2007
Additional Info
Advice for Contacting Kathleen
Visit my website kathleensmith.net for contact info.
meet kathleen
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Oh hi. I’m Kathleen, an eternal PhD student, a licensed therapist, a mental health journalist, and freelance writer. I’ve written for Salon, Slate, xoJane, Lifehacker, The Mary Sue, HelloGiggles, Bustle, and many professional psychology publications you will never read. In my free time, I enjoy crying over television shows and tweeting headcanon. I am forever searching for TV shows with middle-aged OTPs and good friends who appreciate them.
My book, The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal, will be published by Penguin Random House on July 5, 2016.
‘The Fangirl Life’ Book Is the Ultimate Guide for Fangirls (Interview with Kathleen Smith) 0
BY UVE ON MAY 3, 2016 FAN RECS, INTERVIEWS
Kathleen Smith is a licensed therapist and a mental health writer. She has written for plenty renowned publications such as Salon, Slate, The Huffington Post, Lifehacker, The Mary Sue, HelloGiggles and Bustle. On her free time, she likes to fangirl over TV shows as much as everyone else. She’s most known for running a blog called Fangirl Therapy, where fans can ask for advice on their daily fangirl problems. Her book ‘The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal’ will be published by Penguin Random House in July 2016.
“The Fangirl Life” is described as “A Guide to Feeling All the Feels and Learning How to Deal”. Is it therefore related to the fangirl counselling you do on your website “Fangirl Therapy”?
Yes! But I wouldn’t call what I do on my blog “counseling,” exactly. Counseling requires two people interacting with one another in real time. On Fangirl Therapy, I give encouragement to people who write to me and feel frustrated with fangirling or people in fandom. The book is a guide with similar advice, tackling many of the same topics. Some of these include introducing their unicorn self to people offline, struggling with obsessions, or figuring out how fangirling can help their career goals.
What can readers expect to find in this book that makes it special?
This book isn’t an introduction to fangirling. It’s about what fangirling could be about if we take the time to be kind to ourselves and to other people. The responses I’ve gotten from readers go something like, “This book knows the inside of my brain.” So I hope that fangirls would read it and feel like someone knows their frustrations and can help them get started moving in a new, braver direction with their own life story.
Does the book have a major focus on fangirls and female empowerment or is it intended for all genders?
The Fangirl Life is focused on many of the offline and online issues that women face, but I do think anyone, regardless of how they identify, could benefit. Many of the exercises and techniques that I talk about are evidenced-based mental health knowledge that applies to anyone.
Psychology is a scientific field that has a lot to say on fandom behavior. Is your work as a licensed therapist reflected in the book or is it more light and comedic?
I would say both? It’s not a sociological or even psychological study of fandom. It’s a self-help book encouraging people to live a fuller, healthier life using fandom speak. I use research and knowledge I’ve accumulated as a therapist and professor of counseling, but the tone is definitely comedic. I believe humor is an excellent coping skill for life!
Did you use your own personal experiences as a fangirl to get inspiration for the book?
Yes! In many ways this book is a letter to myself and my close friends about how fangirling can help us become the women we were meant to be. I’ve felt the highs and the lows of crying about a ship or an actress or a TV show, so it’s not difficult to put myself in that perspective.
There still seems to be some stigma regarding fangirls in our society. What was your experience with publishers like?
Nothing but wonderful. I am very fortunate to have a supportive agent as well as an editor who is a fangirl herself! The publishing industry is full of women who are passionate about story, so it’s no coincidence that a lot of them identify as fangirls as well. There are so many YA novels about fangirling that are also coming out this year, so I think the industry is starting to more attention to our way of life. We have a lot of purchasing power.
Fangirls who purchase the book and send you a copy of their receipt will get a workbook with extra exercises for each chapter. Can you elaborate a bit on what readers will find without spoiling the surprise?
I love this workbook! Each page goes along with the chapter of the book, asking the reader to think more in depth about the topic and how it applies to their own lives. Because the book is self-help focused, I wanted to give people a place to record their thoughts and takeaways from the text. So by the time you finish the book, you’ll have several ideas for growth and change in your day-to-day life, be it relationships or your career, or how you deal with stress or anxiety. Everybody who pre-orders can get one!
Do you have any other projects for the future you can tell us about?
I am always scheming. I’m working on a comedy podcast right now with a fangirl friend, but unfortunately I can’t say more just yet! You can follow me on Twitter and our first show will be out soon.
Friday, July 1, 2016
Book Spotlight: The Fangirl Life by Kathleen Smith (Author Interview)
Title: The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal
Author: Kathleen Smith
Publisher: TarcherPerigee
Publication Date: July 5, 2016
Synopsis: You'd probably know a "fangirl" when you see one, but the majority stay relatively closeted due to the stigma of being obsessed with fictional characters. However, these obsessions are sometimes the fangirl's solutions for managing stress, anxiety, and even low self-esteem. Fangirling is often branded as behavior young women should outgrow and replace with more adult concerns. Written by a proud fangirl, The Fangirl Life is a witty testament to the belief that honoring your imagination can be congruous with good mental health, and it's a guide to teach fangirls how to put their passion to use in their own lives.
The Fangirl Life encourages you to use an obsession not as a distraction from the anxieties of life, but rather as a test lab for your own life story:
How can a character girl crush be useful instead of a waste of time?
How can writing fan fiction be a launching point for greater endeavors?
How do you avoid the myths that fictional romance perpetuates?
By showing you how to translate obsession into personal accomplishment while affirming the quirky, endearing qualities of your fangirl nature, The Fangirl Life will help you become your own ultimate fangirl.
About the Author: Kathleen Smith runs the website FangirlTherapy.com, where she answers questions submitted by fangirls struggling with their obsessions. She's written for websites such as Slate, Lifehacker, HelloGiggles, Bustle, and Thought Catalog. Kathleen is also a licensed therapist and mental health journalist, reporting for publications and sites such as Counseling Today, The Huffington Post, and PsychCentral. An out-and-proud fangirl, she read every Star Wars universe novel then in existence by the time she was 12 years old and was a blogger for the popular website What Would Emma Pillsbury Wear?, where she chronicled a year of not wearing pants, as inspired by the hit show Glee (before it was ruined beyond all recognition). She would never turn down a ticket to Comic-Con.
Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram
Author Interview:
1. What do you define as a “fangirl?”
There is so much gatekeeping when it comes to fangirling. So I try to keep my definition broad. I would say that if you really enjoy something and you want to call yourself a fangirl, then you’re in the club. In general, fangirls like a show, book, band, etc. enough to seek out a community of people who enjoy the same. Their enthusiasm is wonderful, creative, and contagious. They don’t want to experience something passively. They feel the urge to participate in a story as writers, artists, critics, advocates, and so forth. In short, we jump in the game, but we play by our own rules.
2. You are a licensed therapist who also deeply identifies as a fangirl. How did this combination help inspire this book?
I think most people who are therapists or counselors have this innate curiosity about how people operate, both in their minds and in their relationships with others. Coincidentally, fangirls have a similar curiosity. It just happens to be directed at fictional characters or celebrities. As both a fangirl and a therapist, I love experimenting and finding techniques and ideas that help me live a fuller, braver life. Many of these ideas come from thinking about people who have been role models for me both in fiction and real life. This experimenting inspired me to write a self-improvement book that utilized the language and world of the fangirl. The book breaks down many of the topics relevant to fangirls, but it also has a lot of theory based in the mental health world. I take a lot of the knowledge I have as a therapist but turn it into fangirl speak. So in a way the book is a test-lab for fangirls for learning powerful life skills and creating a courageous narrative for themselves.
3. What do you fangirl about, most of the time?
For me, fangirling has always been about swooning over fictional role models. Women who are older than I am who live big, brave lives but also aren’t afraid to make mistakes and pick themselves up after a setback. They’ve been women like Laura Roslin on Battlestar Galactica, Cristina Yang on Grey’s Anatomy, or Diane Lockhart on The Good Wife. Yes, I cry about my OTPs (“one true pairing”) too, and I love any and all space operas, but for me it has always been about finding those inspirers who make me sit up and take notes.
4. So, even though you are a fangirl yourself, is your book THE FANGIRL LIFE making the argument that fangirls need to be “fixed” or “cured” in some way?
Absolutely not. I would never think of a fangirl or client I was working with as needing “fixing.” I love the idea of seeing my own life and the lives of others as a narrative. So I see myself more as an “unfinished” creature. Accepting your humanity means accepting that you are a work in progress, whether you’re a fangirl or not. So I think the book celebrates that unfinishedness, and it hopefully can help a fangirl to see herself as a person who is growing, challenging her biases, allowing other people to inspire her, and learning new ways to practice self-compassion.
5. Why do you think fangirling has gotten a bad rap, while being a “fanboy” doesn’t seem to have as negative a connotation?
I think that fangirls are most often associated with young teenage women, and there has always been this societal bias that everything a teenage girl likes must naturally be “uncool.” I think women participate in this shaming as well, and we have to be more intentional about celebrating the passions of young girls, regardless of whether we like the band or the show or the book that they’re crying about. But I know plenty of men who might argue that “fanboy” is a term used just as negatively, so I’m hesitant to compare. I think we need to just stop shaming people for their passions in general, as long as they aren’t harming anyone else. I think that self-righteousness comes from our own insecurities and fears.
6. Can you give us an example of how you took your “fangirl life” and transferred one or a few of those fangirl traits into achievements?
I could cite a lot of job skills I’ve learned because fangirling made me more internet or tech savvy, but I think my biggest achievement is learning to be more vulnerable in my relationships. Fangirl friendships demand almost instant vulnerability, because you’re choosing to share your life with someone you’ve never met, someone who knows how much you think about two fictional people kissing or how many Google alerts you have for an actor. I think learning to be a more authentic version of myself with my fangirl friends, a version where I could share my quirks and my insecurities and ask for support, helped me realize that vulnerability could benefit any relationship, whether it was a fangirl one or not. Especially in the process of writing this book, I had to be more vulnerable about my interests and my flaws with people. And guess what? The world didn’t end. So now I have less anxiety that people will “shame” me for being myself. And if they do, who needs them?
7. Finally, the burning question: what’s the best fan fiction you’ve ever personally written?
Oh man. Once I wrote a fan fiction where my ship (aka favorite romantic relationship) ran into each other at a restaurant. Of course they were both there with different dates but they all ended up sitting together. The evening quickly descended into a comedic shouting match. I am really good at writing epic, funny fights in fan fiction. I mean who doesn’t love a bit of yelling between their OTPs?
The Fangirl Life: A Guide to Feeling All the Feels and Learning How to Deal
Publishers Weekly. 263.15 (Apr. 11, 2016): p48.
Copyright: COPYRIGHT 2016 PWxyz, LLC
http://www.publishersweekly.com/
Listen
Full Text:
The Fangirl Life: A Guide to Feeling All the Feels and Learning How to Deal
Kathleen Smith. Penguin/TarcherPerigee, $16 trade paper (240p) ISBN 978-1-101-98369-0
In this witty and sympathetic debut, therapist Smith--a self-proclaimed fangirl and proprietor of the blog Fangirl Therapy--offers wise advice on being a devout but well-rounded fan and even turning obsession into inspiration for one's own life. Using helpful exercises, Smith seeks to empower fellow fangirls to become women who will stand firmly behind their thoughts and actions, deal constructively with conflict, and use the books and people they admire to create their life stories. A particularly inspired tactic is reframing mistakes and missteps as "plot development." Smith points out that avid writers of fan fiction can channel that creativity into a full-time job writing original fiction. She also turns normally intimidating therapy-speak on its head in a chapter entitled "All the Feels," describing such made-up diagnoses as obsessive imagination disorder and preseason anxiety disorder. While the adolescent tone can occasionally be a bit cloying, the author pulls it off by weaving in snippets of her own most embarrassing--and transforming--fangirl moments. Agent: Hannah Brown Gordon, Foundry Literary + Media. (July)
‘The Fangirl Life’ book review: A fandom addict’s guide to real life
THE FANGIRL LIFE IS FOR WHEN FANDOM HURTS. IT'LL BOTH REMIND YOU WHY AND HOW FANDOM CAN BE WONDERFUL, AND GIVE YOU TIPS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR OFFLINE LIFE AND PRODUCTIVITY.
10:30 AM EST, JULY 4, 2016
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SELINA WILKEN
Kathleen Smith, licensed therapist, wants to guide you from anxious fangirl to ‘BAMF fanwoman.’ Does The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal deliver?
Confession: I’m a big fan of DIY life improvement articles. From “Five steps to a de-cluttered desktop” and “How to increase your productivity today” to “The herbal tea that will literally transform you into Hayley Atwell,” I’ve got them all bookmarked — though I’ve procrastinated on reading most of them because I need to be in just the right mindset for the message to really sink through and change my life. Ya know?
…Just me? Anyway.
As a fandom lifer, I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I’ll still be shipping Ron/Hermione at age 85, and will probably still be writing for Hypable too, bitterly bemoaning the fact that the eighteenth Harry Potter stageplay just didn’t make me feel as many feels as Order of the Phoenix. So, when I found out that Kathleen Smith (a fellow The 100 fan and serial tweeter) was writing what looked to me like a handbook on how to be your best fangirl self, I was sold immediately.
ABOUT ‘THE FANGIRL LIFE’
The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal is a delightful book for fangirls, by a fangirl (see what I did there?).
Fangirl Therapy‘s Kathleen Smith cuts the crap immediately, and gets real about the negative sides of being a fangirl — anxiety and depression, rage, and a potentially harmful disconnect from real life — while still appreciating the art of fangirling and the ways in which it helps us be more creative, intelligent, and well-rounded individuals.
Smith is truly one of us, gently nudging her fellow fangirls towards self-improvement through a combination of personal anecdotes, an excess of fandom namedrops, and legit therapy strategies like mindfulness. Her honest, down-to-earth perspective is both refreshing and comforting, especially if you have a tendency to go from one to 100 every time someone says The 100 (sorry).
This book won’t fix your life (just like the 30+ self-help articles I have yet to read because I don’t want to shatter the illusion that Lifehack Magic isn’t real), but it doesn’t promise to. The Fangirl Life is a safe space, acknowledging and legitimizing your ‘feels’ as something neither abnormal or embarrassing. It’s what you might call the first step in the right direction: It takes you by the hand and opens your eyes to the possibility that, however far into virtual reality you’ve fallen, you can take a cue from your favorite fictional females and claw your way out of the innermost cave of your life.
That was the cliffsnotes version. If you want to learn more, read on.
the fangirl life
‘THE FANGIRL LIFE’ BOOK REVIEW
Part self-help book, part simple acknowledgment that your fangirl feels are perfectly normal, and part reminder not to be a jerk on the internet, The Fangirl Life is very directly targeting one particular audience — the audience that is, in Smith’s own words, “past the point of extreme crey.”
If this book had reached me in my late teens — when I was neck-deep in the Lost fandom and shipping Jack/Kate so hard it hurt — it probably would have changed my life. I still remember the deep, dark pit of depression when Kate and Sawyer slept together, and the thrill of euphoria after “Something Nice Back Home.” I spent my life on message boards, reading fanfic, making up songs (hey, we all have a thing) and hating myself because of the very real possibility that I’d been reading the show wrong all along, that Jate wasn’t Fate at all, that I’d been seeing something that wasn’t really there. And, most distressingly, I felt like I was the most pitiable loser on the planet for caring so much about the happiness of fictional characters.
I don’t feel like that anymore. One might say I clawed myself out of my cave and transformed my obsessive fangirling into something positive, but it took a lot longer than it maybe should have. But because of this sordid fangirl past, I can confidently say that Kathleen Smith, having been there herself and having gone through probably a very similar experience, just gets it. Her book is a concrete testament that ‘it gets better’ for those fans for whom shipping/general fandom obsessing feels like their whole life.
So if that’s you — if you care too much, feel too much, and suffer from even a modicum of the anxiety and depression that plague the fandom community at large, this book is very much for you.
So I’m an anxious fangirl, now what?
“If you’re operating defensively, rejecting others’ opinions, and stirring up conflict, then you should expect to be anxious,” writes Smith towards the beginning of the book, identifying that the fangirl — so often in a state of heightened emotion and assuming the defensive position when her show/ship/favorite character is challenged — is likely walking around with a big, heavy weight in her stomach IRL. That’s called anxiety, and if you’re reading this right now, as a fangirl on the internet, there’s a good change you’ve experienced it too.
The Fangirl Life very matter-of-factly correlates obsessive fangirling with anxiety, framing fandom as an addiction, and directly addressing the fans for whom it’s proving hard to shake.
Using fangirl lingo and shoehorning in almost every fandom you can think of, Smith offers to hold the hand of the Stucky shipper who has fallen too far, or the SwanQueen shipper whose stomach hurts every time she thinks about OUAT.
The book offers little exercises to help you acknowledge the problem (the first step), and tips on how to draw inspiration from the fictional characters you admire. As I said earlier: No book or article can immediately fix your life and/or transform you into Hayley Atwell, but The Fangirl Life does its damndest to send you on your own path of self-improvement. It’s an exploration of the dark side of fangirling, with gentle nudging towards small techniques like mindfulness and technology time-outs that might help you break your addiction.
The Fangirl Life offers its reader strategies for becoming a strong female character in the story of her own life, while providing some (for me) much-needed reminders that arguing on the internet will lead to nothing good. My favorite section comes towards the end, when Smith lists a number of ways to increase productivity — because, despite all my self-improvement, I’m still that fangirl whose ‘PIU’ (problematic internet usage) keeps me from concentrating on anything for more than five minutes at a time.
This book is for you, the fangirl, who already knows everything there is to know about the celebrity, show, ship or character she stans. It’s for you if, “you feel like your obsessions are keeping you from the life you want.” And from there, this book just might just be the nudge you need in the right direction.
Full of fandom references, anecdotes and advice, The Fangirl Life is like a little fandom friend in your pocket, comforting you and reminding you that you’re not alone.
Kathleen Smith is a licensed therapist and mental health journalist, and also runs Fangirl Therapy. The Fangirl Life is available for pre-order, and hits stores July 5, 2016. It is published by Penguin Random House.
A REVIEW OF “THE FANGIRL LIFE: A GUIDE TO ALL THE FEELS AND LEARNING HOW TO DEAL” BY KATHLEEN SMITH
A Review of “The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal” by Kathleen Smith
0 5
I was given a copy of this book to read and review. The review below contains my honest opinions and I was not monetarily compensated in any way.
Kathleen Smith is a licensed therapist that blogs over at Fangirl Therapy and is also really, ridiculously smart. She writes a lot about fangirls and what about our brains draws us to fandoms and how we can use that to our advantage. I had the really awesome opportunity through Geek Girl Brunch to review her book, The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal. The Fangirl Life was published by TarcherPerigee on July 5th, 2016, and it is 240 pages long.
FIRST IMPRESSION
I thought this book was going to be about how to be chill in real life by sort of suppressing your fangirl side, and I was wrong. Smith has written an ode to the fangirl and how if she wants to she can rule the world all while staying on top of her shows and writing the steamiest of slashfic.
WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT
Society tells those of us that allow ourselves to really enjoy the media we consume that we’re lesser for it, that we are immature and can’t possibly be productive members of society. Smith reminds us that that’s total nonsense. You can be a fangirl and a BAMF and in fact being a fangirl make you an even badder BAMF. There is a lot of great science behind Smith’s words of wisdom and it is neither too dry nor too simplified. Smith is able to present concepts in a way that allows even a lay person to grasp them without using crayons and glitter glue to do it1and helps to highlight the pros and cons of fangirls. And yes, there are cons. This book isn’t just about placing fangirls on a pedestal. From helping to recognize problem behaviors, and even deduce their source, to learning to grow and mature without feeling like you have to leave yourself behind, The Fangirl Life is there to help you be the best fangirl and person you can be. Also you don’t need to take no crap from people who tell you you’re too passionate or you care too much or it’s not ladylike or mature or whatever boring words boring people use to try to keep you down.
WHY I LIKED IT
I’ve often wrestled with my geeky side and how it fits into my grown up life. How do my Funko Pop!s fit into my greige living room? Am I talking about Supernatural too much at this dinner party? Should I be honest when coworkers ask why I’m so glum and it’s because I just finished a book and now I don’t know how to live my life? Reading The Fangirl Life legit helped me learn to appreciate who I am as a fangirl, reocognize and overcome some of my *cough*obsessive*cough* issues, and get started on balancing the many facets of myself and my life. It’s obvious from reading this book Smith is not only an awesome fangirl she’s a very good therapist and she’s at a great place in her life and career with balancing those two aspects of her personality and so much more. And she’s kind enough to let us in on the secret of how we can move to that point, too.
WHO SHOULD READ IT
Smith definitely recognized that fangirls come in all shapes and sizes and from all walks of life with varying degrees of interest and investment. I never felt like this book wasn’t for me because I don’t write fanfic (anymore) or I don’t live tweet shows (regularly) or I’m not obsessive about actors (maybe a total lie). I would recommend this book to any fangirl, or heck, even any fanboy, that is looking for a bit of guidance and a reminder that you’re awesome.
1. Though I would totes not be against some glitter glue and crayons.
Having Fangirl Problems? The Fangirl Life Can (and Will) Help
Jul 28, 2016By Amanda Pillon
Being a fangirl is harder than it sounds. But you knew that.
Balancing classes with friendships, family, after-school activities and maybe even a relationship is hard enough without your fave fandom(s) constantly butting into your life.
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If you've ever missed out on countless hours of sleep in favor of binge-watching, focused on finishing your fanfic instead of an important essay, or spent an entire math class daydreaming about your favorite actor's perfect face, you're definitely a fangirl. But after reading The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal, you'll learn to break these patterns.
The Fangirl Life: A Guide to All the Feels and Learning How to Deal
(via Fangirl Therapy)
The author is Kathleen Smith, a licensed therapist, mental health journalist and longtime fangirl. She's experienced all the fangirl feels, and this book is about taking that passion and channeling it in a healthy, productive way.
Did you know there's a scientific reason we fangirl? Smith explains it has to do with the chemistry of your brain.
Fangirl Therapy fangirling
(via Fangirl Therapy)
Fangirls are hard-wired to seek out their objects of obsession. We all know that can be extremely rewarding, but dedicating too much time to fandoms can lead to a lot of bad habits.
This book is a fangirl self-help guide all about breaking those habits, tackling the self-doubt that can come with fangirling, and making changes that allow you to continue to be infatuated while still making time for everything else life requires of you.
Best of all, it's written in a way that's a breeze to read, in a vernacular that any fangirl will understand.
Fangirl therapist: Tell me all about your feels
(via Fangirl Therapy)
Let's say that you idolize a certain female character. The Fangirl Life will teach you not to let her flawless appearance make you doubt or criticize yourself. Instead, you'll learn how to use her example to build yourself into your own "strong female character."
Sometimes life can be tough for a fangirl, but The Fangirl Life gives instructions for viewing the challenges in your own life through the lens of a powerful narrative. What's a story without plot twists, conflict and a little bit of despair?
Fangirl daydreaming about her ships
(via Fangirl Therapy)
You'll also find advice on respecting others' ships and the way other people fangirl, making your own relationship your OTP, deciding how open you are open your status as a fangirl, and even the healthy way to handle the on-screen death of a beloved character.
In the end, it's really all about being a mindful, civil fangirl who's in control of her own emotions. If you feel like you're ready to be not just a fangirl, but a fanwoman, you can't miss The Fangirl Life.
Get the book on Amazon HERE, and be sure to check out Kathleen Smith's blog, Fangirl Therapy.
So what's your fandom? Whatever it is, we bet THIS guide will help you find the fangirl subscription box that's just right for you.
SDCC 2016: “THE FANGIRL LIFE” IS HERE TO HELP YOU LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE!
July 18, 2016 · by Sam Wildman · in Archive, Book, Conventions, Review, Sam Wildman
The author of this book, Kathleen Smith, will be on super cool panel at SDCC 2016! Here’s the link you add it to your schedule and you can read the official blurb from the SDCC website below.
The Female Geek: Women as Fans and Creators
– Saturday, July 23rd @ 12-1 PM in Room 7A
There’s more to being a geek girl than meets the eye. From Princess Leia, to Katniss Everdeen, to Hermione Granger, fandom is full of awesome female characters-but what about the women who create these iconic individuals? Leigh Bardugo (The Grisha Trilogy), Sabaa Tahir (A Torch Against the Night), Kiersten White (And I Darken),Sarah Kuhn (Heroine Complex), Kathleen Smith (The Fangirl Life), andMargaret Stohl(Black Widow: Forever Red) discuss feminism and fandom in a panel moderated byMadeline Ashby (Company Town).
She’ll also be doing autograph signings with the other members of the panel immediately afterward in Sails Paviolion from 1:30-2:30 PM. Check it out at booth AA09!
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The Fangirl Life
fangirllifecoverAuthor: Kathleen Smith
Release Date: July 5, 2016
Publisher: TarcherPerigee
Genre(s): Self-Help, Fandom
Review Spoilers: N/A
GoodReads | Amazon
Rating:
I know what you’re probably thinking. A self-help book for fangirls? Psh, yeah, right. Like I need that. Honestly, I felt a little bit like that, too, when I first cracked open Kathleen Smith’s The Fangirl Life. I don’t know if I fit the squarely into the fangirl category but I’m certainly a geek girl and let’s be honest – there are probably more fangirl qualities about me than I care to admit.
But within the first few pages I saw the real potential in this book.
While there are an increasing number of self-help books geared towards geeks there aren’t a whole lot of them that cater toward the ladies. This book fills a much needed niche and Kathleen Smith is just the person to write it.
See, Kathleen Smith isn’t just a therapist – she’s a fangirl, too. She’s even got her own blog – FangirlTherapy.com – where she discusses all your common fangirl dilemnas. She’s the perfect person to write a book like that because she is one of us. She’s not going to lecture you like your parents or teachers or those friends who just don’t get why fandom is so important to you. Smith isn’t hear to help you move on or stop being a fangirl. She writes fanfic and has a really strong appreciation of strong female characters on TV (and their eyebrows).
Smith isn’t here to tell you not to be a fangirl or to tell you everything that’s wrong about being a fangirl. Instead, she’s hear to help you be the best fangirl you can be and perhaps start the transition into fanwoman.
Smith’s book outlines a lot of the good – and bad – things about being a fangirl and encourages readers to reevaluate what works best for them. It’s okay to be a fangirl. But not all fangirl behavior is good for you and it’s important to realize just when things are getting a little too far out of hand. There are tons of resources in this book to help fangirls set goals, combat counter-productive behavior, identify problems, recognize addictive tendancies, and more.
Got a lot of feels?
There’s advice on how to handle all of that as well.
From case studies to introspective exercises, The Fangirl Life celebrates what it means to be a fangirl while at the same time focusing on how fangirls can better themselves.
A lot of what Smith has to offer could probably be found in a number of other self-help books but she gives it all a very pop culture, fangirl oriented spin – and it works. I found the book 100% more approachable than pretty much any other self-help book I’ve ever read just because things clicked. Smith’s references and fangirl in-jokes make the book fun and her recommendations aren’t the sort of anti-fangirl fanfare we generally expect when people talk about us ‘bettering ourselves.’ Smith makes things fun and she makes everything feel relevant to us.
She encourages you to be your best self without giving up those things that make you you.
The Fangirl Life really is the perfect book for every single fangirl out there. Even if you’re not a fangirl and just an overall geek girl, pick up this book. While you might not think you need it, Smith knows just what you’re thinking and her descriptions of fangirl behavior are spot on. You’re going to see a lot of yourself in this book – maybe more than you care to admit.
If you think The Fangirl Life sounds like a great read, you’re in luck. We’re giving away THREE COPIES of Kathleen Smith’s The Fangirl Life. Want to win a copy? Just hop on over to our #NotAtSDCC The Fangirl Life giveaway page and enter!
And if nothing else check it out if you ever get a chance.
Because let’s face it – being a fangirl is awesome. But it can always be even more awesome.
Therapist Kathleen Smith Talks About ‘The Fangirl Life’ on ‘Beaks & Geeks’
By MATT STAGGS
July 6, 2016
Count me as a big believer in the benefits of therapy, but I know that seeing a therapist isn’t for anyone. It can be pricey, and working a weekly appointment into a busy schedule can be hard. Self-help books can offer a viable alternative but finding the right one can be a hassle. Not every mental health professional can appreciate the wisdom and inspiration that some of us find in comic books, science-fiction novels, and fantasy television series.
In her book The Fangirl Life: A Guide to Feeling All the Feels and Learning How to Deal, Kathleen Smith, a licensed therapist, introduces readers to her own brand of fan-friendly self-help: a unique niche in therapeutic thought where Doctor Who is more important than Doctor Freud, and the feels is very real. This is her first book aimed at fangirls, but Smith has been offering sage advice to female fandom for handling anxiety, relationship troubles, and more for a long time at her site www.fangirltherapy.com.
If you enjoy flailing over badass fictional ladies or speculating endlessly over plot points, but would like to carve more space for the narrative of your own life, this is the book for you. Written by a proud fangirl who is also a licensed therapist, The Fangirl Life is a witty guide to putting your passions to use in your offline life, whether it’s learning how writing fan fiction can be a launching point for greater career endeavors, or how to avoid the myths that fictional romance perpetuates.