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WORK TITLE: Strong as a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood
WORK NOTES:
PSEUDONYM(S):
BIRTHDATE:
WEBSITE: http://katerope.com/
CITY: Atlanta
STATE: GA
COUNTRY: United States
NATIONALITY:
RESEARCHER NOTES:
| LC control no.: | n 2013005762 |
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| LCCN Permalink: | https://lccn.loc.gov/n2013005762 |
| HEADING: | Rope, Kate |
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| 100 | 1_ |a Rope, Kate |
| 374 | __ |a Health reporter |
| 375 | __ |a female |
| 670 | __ |a The complete guide to medications during pregnancy and breastfeeding, 2013: |b ECIP t.p. (Kate Rope) data view (veteran health reporter whose work has appeared in fitness, Real simple, Parade, Parenting, and many other publications) |
PERSONAL
Married; children: two daughters.
EDUCATION:Occidental College, B.A., 1995.
ADDRESS
CAREER
Freelance journalist, health reporter and author. Research chief, Life magazine, 2004-07; senior editor, Health.com, New York, NY, 2007-08; editorial director, Seleni Institute, 2013-18. Member of advisory board, Seleni Institute; advisor, Postpartum Support International, Georgia chapter.
WRITINGS
Contributor to periodicals and media outlets, including BabyCenter, CNN.com, Fitness, Glamour UK, New York Times, Parade, Parenting, Real Simple, Shape, and Time.
SIDELIGHTS
Health journalist Kate Rope is the coauthor of The Complete Guide to Medications during Pregnancy and Breastfeeding: Everything You Need to Know to Make the Best Choices for You and Your Baby, and the sole author of Strong as a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood; the Only Guide to Taking Care of You!, two books that help make some of the experience of pregnancy understandable to new mothers. The Complete Guide to Medications during Pregnancy and Breastfeeding serves as a guide to medications that can be safely taken while pregnant and the ones that should be avoided. Rope knows firsthand the confusion that can result. “When I was pregnant with my first daughter,” Rope said in an interview with Dr. Sanaz Majd in Quick and Dirty Tips, “I developed a serious, but completely mysterious, pain in my chest. For the first five months of my pregnancy, it was misdiagnosed as various things, including heartburn, and I took a number of medications to alleviate it. Nothing worked. The pain became so bad that I ended up in the ER twice and was finally hospitalized…. I was worried the radiation I had been exposed to had harmed my developing baby, and that the steroids I was taking would damage her immune system.” “This comprehensive resource,” concluded a Publishers Weekly reviewer, “will help empower pregnant and breastfeeding women facing medication decisions, allowing them to make informed choices.”
Strong as a Mother broadens Rope’s examination of the experience of pregnancy. “After enduring a difficult pregnancy,” wrote a Publishers Weekly reviewer, “Rope … decided a book representing ‘all the experiences of pregnancy’ was needed.” For instance, she examines some of the ways in which raised levels of hormones can affect new mothers, including post-partum psychosis. “The vast majority of women experience intrusive thoughts as weird, abnormal, even disturbing, but they don’t make sense to them,” Rope explained in Today’s Parent. “Rather, the thoughts feel out of character, shocking, and sometimes profoundly upsetting, and there are things you can do to cope with them. It is also important to know whether your response to them is a sign that you are experiencing an anxiety disorder.” “The chapters [in Strong as a Mother] didn’t disappoint,” asserted a Selfies to Selfless website reviewer. “They were filled with expert advice … as well as advice from moms like you and me. The ones in the thick of it. And those bits of mom life realness really anchored the book for me.”
BIOCRIT
PERIODICALS
Publishers Weekly, January 21, 2013, review of The Complete Guide to Medications during Pregnancy and Breastfeeding: Everything You Need to Know to Make the Best Choices for You and Your Baby, p. 62; April 16, 2018, review of Strong as a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood; the Only Guide to Taking Care of You!, p. 88.
ONLINE
Cool Mom Picks, https://coolmompicks.com/ (May 17, 2018), Caroline Siegrist, “Strong as a Mother: The Radical Idea that Moms Need to Take Care of Themselves First.”
Quick and Dirty Tips, https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/ (April 25, 2013), Sanaz Majd, “Can You Take Medication While Pregnant?”
Seleni, https://www.seleni.org/ (September 5, 2018), author profile.
Selfies to Selfless, https://www.selfiestoselfless.com/ (September 5, 2018), “Real Mom Chat with Kate Rope – Author of Strong as a Mother.“
Today’s Parent, https://www.todaysparent.com/ (May 2, 2018), Kate Rope, “Why New Moms Have Scary Thoughts about Their Babies.”
KATE ROPE is an award-winning freelance journalist whose work has appeared in many publications and online outlets including the New York Times, Time, Real Simple, CNN.com, Shape, Glamour UK, BabyCenter, Parade and Parenting.
She is author of Strong as a Mother: How to Be Happy, Healthy and (Most Importantly) Sane From Pregnancy to Parenthood: The Only Guide to Taking Care of YOU! (May 2018) and coauthor of The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding.
Kate serves on the advisory board of the Seleni Institute and as an advisor of the Georgia Chapter of Postpartum Support International. She lives in Atlanta with her husband and two daughters.
Kate Rope
Kate Rope
Kate Rope is an award-winning freelance journalist with expertise in health, pregnancy, and parenting. She is author of the forthcoming Strong as a Mother: How to Be Happy, Healthy and (Most Importantly) Sane From Pregnancy to Parenthood: The Only Guide to Taking Care of YOU! (May 2018) and coauthor of The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding. Ms. Rope was a founding editor of Health.com and a key staff member of many other national and international publications, including LIFE, Mother Jones, and the Bangkok Post.
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Journalist, author Strong as a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy & (Most Importantly) Sane From Pregnancy to Parenthood
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Strong as a Mother (May 2018, St. Martin's Press)
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Strong as a Mother (May 2018, St. Martin's Press)
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Strong as a Mother is a practical and compassionate guide to preparing for a smooth start to motherhood. Everyone knows the secret to having “the Happiest Baby on the Block.” This is your guide to being the Sanest Mommy on the Block. It will prepare you with humor and grace for what lies ahead, give you the tools you need to take care of yourself, permission to struggle at times, and professional advice on how to move through it when you do. This book will become a dog-eared resource on your nightstand, offering you the same care and support that you are working so hard to provide to your child. It will help you prioritize your emotional health, set boundaries and ask for help, make choices about feeding and childcare ... See more
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Strong As a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood: The Only Guide to Taking Care of YOU!
Strong As a Mother: How to Stay Health...
The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding
Coauthor
Company Name The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding
Dates Employed Feb 2013 – Present Employment Duration 5 yrs 7 mos
From a renowned obstetrician and expert in maternal-fetal medicine comes the only comprehensive pharmaceutical guide available to help you make informed decisions while pregnant and nursing
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The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding: Everything You Need to Know to Make the Best Choices for You and Your Baby
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The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding: Everything You Need to Know to Make the Best Choices for You and Your Baby
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Seleni Institute
Editorial Director
Company Name Seleni Institute
Dates Employed May 2013 – Jan 2018 Employment Duration 4 yrs 9 mos
Health.com
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Location New York, NY
Life Magazine
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Occidental College
Occidental College
Degree Name Bachelor of Arts (B.A.)
Dates attended or expected graduation 1991 – 1995
National Cathedral School
National Cathedral School
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Rebecca Eisner
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Freelance Digital Marketing & Advertising / Brand Marketing / Project Management / Creative Producer
March 10, 2017, Kate was senior to Rebecca but didn’t manage directly
I worked very closely with Rebecca in the marketing and communications department at the Seleni Institute. In fact, she and I were among the founding staff of Seleni. As editorial director I relied on her analysis on data, traffic, and trends to determine the success of past content and identify potential future stories. I appreciated her proactivity and enthusiasm, sending me article and headline ideas based on search and industry topic trends. I almost always followed through on her ideas as they were usually spot on. She spearheaded many projects that improved article readability and user experience, including an overhaul of metatags, stock photos, and website functionality and design, as well as implementing Facebook Instant Articles. She served as a second eye for me with regard to tone and typos, and occasionally pitched in with blogging, copywriting, and ghostwriting. She's a good writer (which is often hard to find in someone who has high technical expertise). I appreciated her dedication to streamlining processes; she implemented Asana, which helped our department keep track of the editorial calendar and publishing tasks as well as getting us on Slack to minimize email. She is also an innovator when it comes to site design and audience reach, keeping up with the latest changes and trends in the marketplace and suggesting new ways to engage readers and users. She really is an idea machine and 99% of her ideas are good ones. That's a rare combination. It's a lucky organization that will bring her on board.
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Strong as a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood
Publishers Weekly.
265.16 (Apr. 16, 2018): p88. From Book Review Index Plus. COPYRIGHT 2018 PWxyz, LLC http://www.publishersweekly.com/
Full Text:
Strong as a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood
Kate Rope. Griffin, $18.99 trade paper (400p) ISBN 978-1-250-10558-5
In Rope's approachable guide, the focus is on the fears and concerns around pregnancy that women may be reluctant to discuss. After enduring a difficult pregnancy, Rope (The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy) decided a book representing "all the experiences of pregnancy" was needed. Writing in the tone of a friendly, non judgmental peer, she ticks off potential sources of distress for mothers-to-be that other people might have trouble understanding, such as feeling no sense of connection to the fetus, or having overwhelming and unfounded fears about the baby's well-being. Rope mixes in solid advice from experts and her personal experiences, but a disappointingly light sprinkling of anecdotes from parents. A strong proponent of caring for oneself in order to be able to care for others, Rope extensively discusses finding a support group and "building your village." A noteworthy section argues for avoiding the trap of becoming the "default parent"--the one who knows everything from shoe sizes to school schedules-with Rope urging parents to discuss who will handle what responsibilities. Although occasionally repetitive, Rope's book offers women commonsense guidance and vigorous reassurances on coping with the tumultuous changes of pregnancy and parenthood. (May)
1 of 3 8/12/18, 5:05 PM
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Source Citation (MLA 8th Edition)
"Strong as a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy
to Parenthood." Publishers Weekly, 16 Apr. 2018, p. 88. Book Review Index Plus, http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A536532776/GPS?u=schlager&sid=GPS& xid=74f9547f. Accessed 12 Aug. 2018.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A536532776
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The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy & Breastfeeding
Publishers Weekly.
260.3 (Jan. 21, 2013): p62. From Book Review Index Plus. COPYRIGHT 2013 PWxyz, LLC http://www.publishersweekly.com/
Full Text:
The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy & Breastfeeding Carl P. Weiner and Kate Rope. St. Martin's/ Griffin, $24.99 (544p) ISBN 978-0-3126-7646-9
Weiner, a maternal-fetal medical expert, and health reporter Rope (High Risk Pregnancy) tackle the complex subject of the use of medication during pregnancy in his weighty volume. The problem, as they see it, is that many doctors are confused by FDA guidelines regarding meds during pregnancy; they explain that the system, which is currently being modified, will take years to correct. In brief introductions, the authors explain that many pregnant (and breastfeeding) women need medications for their health and the health of their babies. Asthma, diabetes, hypertension, gestational diabetes, epilepsy, and high blood pressure are just a few of the conditions that must be treated. Weiner and Rope also provide describe six factors that can influence whether a particular medication will cause birth defects: whether it crosses the placenta, genetic susceptibility, timing, dose, how the medicine is taken, and the spectrum of outcomes (a range of potentially adverse outcomes, depending on how much medication is taken, how often, and when). An alphabetical list of more than 600 medications follows, with a breakdown on each describing its potential side effects and warnings, drug interactions, and how it relates to pregnancy and breastfeeding. The authors also explain how to find a maternal-fetal medicine specialist, encouraging readers to utilize their resources in conjunction with working with their physicians. (The caveat is that medical information in this area is constantly changing.) This comprehensive resource will help empower pregnant and breastfeeding women facing medication decisions, allowing them to make informed choices. (Apr.)
Source Citation (MLA 8th Edition)
"The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy & Breastfeeding." Publishers Weekly, 21
Jan. 2013, p. 62. Book Review Index Plus, http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A316201826 /GPS?u=schlager&sid=GPS&xid=63475ca7. Accessed 12 Aug. 2018.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A316201826
3 of 3 8/12/18, 5:05 PM
Can You Take Medication While Pregnant?
If you have a health condition and are pregnant, it can be overwhelming to figure out which medications you can take without harming the baby. Special guest Kate Rope talks about her new book The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding.
By Dr. Sanaz Majd
April 25, 2013
Episode #122
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Can You Take Medication While Pregnant?
As soon as you realize you are expecting, your to-do list all of sudden seems to triple in size. There’s so much to do and so little time – from scheduling your prenatal visits, to setting up the nursery, and an almost endless list of shopping in order to get ready for the arrival of your new bundle of joy. What happens if you get sick in this process? By that I mean anything from catching the flu to being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis? It can be very scary, to think that any medications you must take could harm your baby. You already have enough to do and worry about.
One of the most common pregnancy questions I’ve received during my patients’ prenatal visits have been in regards to medication safety. There doesn’t seem to be much information for patients out there in terms of a self-help resource guide to determine what medications you can take safely, and the potential risks involved. Even over-the-counter medications can be harmful to the baby in pregnancy. I was pleased to see that there now is a great patient resource – the Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding. So I thought it would be a great idea to interview one of the authors and introduce the book to my audience in order to make sure they realize that such a resource does exist in case they need it.
See also: Top 10 Questions Pregnant Women Ask
So with that, let’s welcome Kate Rope, one of the authors of this helpful guide:
House Call Doctor: What led you to write a book about medications during pregnancy and breastfeeding?
Kate Rope: When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I developed a serious, but completely mysterious, pain in my chest. For the first 5 months of my pregnancy, it was misdiagnosed as various things, including heartburn, and I took a number of medications to alleviate it. Nothing worked. The pain became so bad that I ended up in the ER twice and was finally hospitalized. Along the way, I was subjected to X-rays, CT scans and nuclear radiation—all the things the pregnancy books tell you to stay away from in pregnancy.
See also: Foods to Avoid During Pregnancy
Finally, an ultrasound showed fluid and swelling around my heart. It's actually a fairly benign, but extremely painful, condition called pericarditis. And it’s unrelated to being pregnant. I had to manage it with ibuprofen and steroids for the remainder of my pregnancy. I felt incredibly scared and guilty doing so. I was worried the radiation I had been exposed to had harmed my developing baby, and that the steroids I was taking would damage her immune system.
I found it very difficult to be taking medication during this era of natural pregnancy. None of the books on my bedside table talked about the medications I was taking. Instead they all warned of all the ways I could damage my baby—eating deli meat, changing cat litter, even highlighting my hair. So prescription medication seemed extremely scary to me. I realized there was no good information out there for moms who have to take medication—prescription or otherwise—for their own health during pregnancy.
House Call Doctor: How did you handle all of that anxiety?
Kate Rope: Lucky for me, I had an excellent maternal fetal medicine expert as my obstetrician, and he talked me through all of the medications he was giving me and why. At one point, when I was really scared, he said to me, "Kate, we are in the shallow end of the pool. We can get a lot deeper." When my husband and I would start to worry about the medications, we would repeat to each other, "We are in the shallow end of the pool."
That helped, but after my daughter was born, I developed terrible postpartum anxiety that I’m certain was related to the fear I felt during pregnancy. So I wanted to write a book for women who need to treat medical conditions during pregnancy– whether they are complications, mood disorders, or even a cold. I want to help women understand that they can make good choices to take care of themselves at the same time that they are protecting the health of their growing babies.
House Call Doctor: Why is there so little information about medications and pregnancy?
Kate Rope: Even for commonly prescribed and frequently taken drugs—such as Advil, Sudafed, Amoxicillin, Zoloft, Prozac—there is very little information about their effects on pregnancy. Because of concern for liability issues, very few researchers (and almost no pharmaceutical companies) will use pregnant women in the controlled scientific studies that doctors depend on when they make prescribing decisions. So, doctors have to rely on animal studies and on scattered information from case reports of women who have taken particular medications during pregnancy and what their outcomes were.
See also: How to Lose Weight After Pregnancy
Unfortunately, there are very few comprehensive resources for doctors who are treating pregnant women. But my co-author, Dr. Carl Weiner—who is a perinatologist and professor of pharmaceutical sciences at the University of Kansas School of Medicine—literally wrote the book on it. His academic textbook for doctors brings together research on nearly 1,000 medications taken during pregnancy and breastfeeding. We worked together to translate his comprehensive book into easy-to-understand language and it became a book for moms— The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding.
House Call Doctor: How does the book work?
Kate Rope: The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding is an A to Z directory of more than 600 drugs and what we know about their effects and side effects if taken during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. It covers any animal research that has been done on the medication, how often and how long the medication has been used in pregnancy, whether it is effective for pregnant women, whether there appear to be any safety concerns for a developing fetus or embryo or a breastfeeding child, and whether another medication might be a better choice.
It's a great resource for a pregnant woman to grab off her shelf, read, and bring to her doctor so that together they can make good choices she's comfortable with. The book also includes chapters on how to find good medical care during pregnancy and how to get to a doctor who will have the best information on medications.
House Call Doctor: If you are taking medication for a chronic condition such as asthma or depression, what should you do before becoming pregnant?
Kate Rope: You should meet with your specialist, whether it's a cardiologist, a psychiatrist, or a rheumatologist and ask if he or she has experience treating pregnant women. You should also ask if he or she is comfortable working closely with your OB to manage your condition during pregnancy. If the answer is no to either one of these questions, ask if they can recommend a colleague who does.
You should have the same conversation with your prospective OB or certified nurse midwife. Ask if he or she has had patients with your condition before and how (or if) medication was used to control it.
Once you are working with doctors you trust, ask them about the medications you are taking and whether you need to (and can) continue them during pregnancy and what is known about their safety and effectiveness. Find out if there is a safer medication you should switch to.
Of course, since 50% of pregnancies are unplanned, many women don't have the luxury of making a choice before discovering they are pregnant. If you become pregnant while taking a medication that is critical to your health—mental or physical—do not discontinue it on your own. Meet with your doctors right away and make a choice together.
House Call Doctor: After your own difficult pregnancy and the anxiety you faced, what would you like other pregnant and breastfeeding women to know?
Kate Rope: That you can and should prioritize your own health alongside the health of your developing or breastfeeding baby. It is important that you are healthy, happy, and high-functioning both for yourself and for your family. With the right medical care and the right information, you will be able to make choices that are good for you and that you can feel optimistic about. And once you've made those decisions, do your best to feel calm and confident in them and have faith in the future health of your children. When I look at my healthy, happy daughter (who happens to have an incredibly strong immune system) now, all of those worries I had seem so far away.
Kate Rope is an award-winning freelance journalist with expertise in health, pregnancy, and parenting. She is the coauthor of The Complete Guide to Medications During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding. Kate's writing has appeared in many publications including National Geographic Adventure, Fitness, Real Simple, Shape, Parade, Parents, and Parenting. She also serves as editorial director of the Seleni Institute, a nonprofit organization dedicated to women's reproductive and maternal mental health. She lives in Brooklyn, NY with her husband and two daughters.
What was your experience with taking medications during pregnancy or breastfeeding? If you have a story, please share it with us on the House Call Doctor’s Facebook and Twitter pages!
Please note that all content here is strictly for informational purposes only. This content does not substitute any medical advice, and does not replace any medical judgment or reasoning by your own personal health provider. Please always seek a licensed physician in your area regarding all health related questions and issues.
Pregnant Woman image courtesy of Shutterstock
Strong as a Mother: The radical idea that moms need to take care of themselves first.
by Caroline Siegrist | May 17, 2018 | Books for Adults | 0 comments
Strong as a Mother: The radical idea that moms need to take care of themselves first.
I’ve been so glad to see more books about self-care for moms, especially since there are so many books on how to care for babies that leave us out of the equation, more or less. Strong as a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood, the new self-care reference book from parenting author and journalist Kate Rope, is one I think all moms — expecting, new, and experienced — need to have on their bookshelves.
At the heart of Rope’s book is the still radical idea that a mother’s needs should come first, because that will enable her to care for child’s needs most effectively.
That is definitely not an idea I heard when I first became a mother a mother last year.
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Related: The non-lecturey, totally realistic book about self-care for new moms.
Of course your needs fall under so many categories, and this book covers them all, in a helpful, friendly, totally judgment-free style. There’s pregnancy sex, supplementing breast milk, strangers who touch your belly, returning to work after baby, body image during pregnancy (and after), how to cultivate a good support network, and importantly, how to get rid of unhelpful support.
Great topics, right?
Plus, the book beautifully affirms the diversity of experience among new parents. For example, I love that the author includes quotes from new moms who were elated to find out they were pregnant — and also quotes from moms who were stricken with panic and worry.
It’s really comforting to read, especially when those pregnancy test commercials makes you feel like women must all experience a uniform level ecstasy when they see those double red lines appear on the stick.
I think this will be a fantastic reference book for so many parents, which makes it an especially loving baby shower gift for an expecting mom or new mom who’s been hard on herself (um, all of us?) and could use some a little extra support. Or maybe just permission — in print, from an expert — to take a break and go get a manicure.
Find Strong as a Mother by Kate Rope at our affiliate Amazon or your local bookseller.
Tags: baby shower gifts, books, books for parents, gift ideas for moms, gifts for new parents, parenting
Written by Caroline Siegrist
Caroline Siegrist is a brand new mom, a proud aunt of 5, and a writer and hospital chaplain based in Nashville. She has a fondness for children's literature, female-led indie rock bands, cooking international cuisine, and encouraging her nieces' and son's growing obsession with Star Wars.
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Why new moms have scary thoughts about their babies
In Kate Rope's new book, Strong as a Mother, she talks about the terrifying but rarely talked about thoughts that new moms get postpartum.
By Kate Rope | May 2, 2018
Photo: iStockphoto
“I had intrusive thoughts of falling down our wooden stairs while holding the babies, and crushing them. These thoughts got pretty graphic and troubling, but I didn’t mention them because I thought they were crazy, and if I spoke them out loud, someone would take my babies and have me committed.” —Jessica, Atlanta, Georgia
“I would have thoughts like I would hit [my baby’s] head when walking through a doorway or he would be dropped. I could see it in my head.” —Amy, Houston, Texas
“The weight of being this person’s way of being alive was incredibly heavy for me. My mind began seeking out some of the most dramatic ways I could fail at that, including tripping and dropping him. What if I did? It came from a place of realizing how vulnerable he was and how responsible I was.” —Jessica, Minneapolis, Minnesota
***
Have you ever been waiting on a subway platform and thought, What if I jumped in front of the train? Or maybe you were driving down the road and for a brief second had a vision of veering into oncoming traffic. These flashes of weird, unexpected, and often uncharacteristic images and thoughts are pretty much universal according to experts. It’s the brain’s way of testing things out, identifying dangers, and keeping us safe. And parenthood is no different. In fact, “intrusive thoughts,” as they are called, tend to bloom in those early weeks and months of trying to keep a small human alive and well.
“Everybody has unwanted thoughts that go against who they are as a person,” says Jonathan Abramowitz, professor and associate chair in the department of psychology and neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “Our brains are creative, and we wonder about whether we could do certain things or whether certain things could happen. That’s just how the brain works. That’s part of being human.”
Abramowitz is one of the country’s foremost experts on intrusive thoughts and has found that “people especially tend to have these thoughts about things that are important to them.” (Hello, babies!) Our new babies are really important to us, and keeping them safe is our most important job. So, what do we do? Immediately, and understandably, we start to come up with images of potential dangers. We are on the lookout for anything that could possibly harm them, and, yes, that includes ourselves.
woman standing, covering her faceNew survey reveals parents' biggest fears
In fact, Abramowitz’s research has shown that as many as 91 percent of new moms and 88 percent of new dads experience thoughts of harm coming to their babies.
“I think on some level we are evolutionarily programmed to do this,” says Margaret Howard, PhD, professor of psychiatry and human behavior and medicine at the Alpert Medical School of Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. “Back in prehistoric times, there were lots of dangers lurking, so I think there’s still a little part of our primitive brain that has that element of hypervigilance. What it speaks to is a mother’s recognition of the fragility of her new baby and also this primal urge that mothers have to protect and keep their offspring safe.”
Of course, that doesn’t mean that it might not be really scary or uncomfortable to have these thoughts, and many parents are afraid to share them with anyone, says Karen Kleiman, LCSW, founder of the Postpartum Stress Center in Rosemont, Pennsylvania, because “they think they’re going mad, and that if they tell anybody they are going to have their baby taken away.”
Do these thoughts mean I could harm my baby?
A lot of women are scared to share these worries, because of the very rare but very tragic stories we hear in the media about moms hurting their babies or themselves. There is an extremely rare postpartum psychiatric emergency, postpartum psychosis, during which women can be at risk for harming themselves or their babies. But there is one key differentiating factor between the everyday intrusive thoughts most new moms experience and postpartum psychosis (which affects less than one in one thousand new moms), and that is feeling disturbed by the thoughts.
“There is a continuum of possible thoughts from ‘Is my baby getting enough food?’ all the way to ‘What if I take this knife and do something violent to my baby?’” says Kleiman. “It does not matter where your thoughts fall on that continuum; the scarier thoughts are not worse. What matters is how these thoughts make you feel.”
For women who experience postpartum psychosis, if they have thoughts about harming themselves or their children, the thoughts usually make sense to them and may feel like the right thing to do for the baby. For instance, a mom may believe she has harmed her child in some irreparable way and ending the child’s life may seem—in her psychotic state—like the only way to save him from this perceived harm. (Any mother experiencing these kinds of delusions needs immediate medical attention. Postpartum psychosis is serious, but also very treatable.)
However, the vast majority of women experience intrusive thoughts as weird, abnormal, even disturbing, but they don’t make sense to them. Rather, the thoughts feel out of character, shocking, and sometimes profoundly upsetting, and there are things you can do to cope with them. It is also important to know whether your response to them is a sign that you are experiencing an anxiety disorder.
How to manage scary thoughts
Trying to will these unwanted thoughts away is not going to work. “If you try not to think about a pink elephant, the first thing you are going to think about is a pink elephant,” says Abramowitz. Instead, Abramowitz recommends acknowledging and observing the thoughts. When you let them “come along for the ride,” says Abramowitz, you can see they’re not what they seem to be and develop a healthy relationship with them. “You learn how to be good at having the thought rather than trying to control the thought,” says Abramowitz.
And, says Howard, “these thoughts tend to fade with time.” Research shows that these worries tend to ebb and flow and may be more frequent around six weeks after your baby is born but then dissipate over the next month or so.
One way to help alleviate the worry that can accompany these thoughts, says Abramowitz, is just educating families before birth about how common they are. That alone can decrease the likelihood that a parent will develop an anxiety disorder related to them. So maybe reading this is helping you feel better. Or maybe it isn’t.
Can’t just brush off your intrusive thoughts? Find out more about when scary thoughts become obsessions, and talk to your doctor about getting help.
, Real Mom Review
Real Mom Chat with Kate Rope – Author of Strong As A Mother
Book review and chat with Strong as a Mother author Kate Rope #momlife #bookclub #bookreview #selfcare #momcare #pregnancy #postpartum #parenthoodI remember being a couple of years in to motherhood when I realized that there just wasn’t enough parenting resources out there that spoke to me. There were some of the good ‘ol standbys that severed their purpose well, but nothing that seemed to have me in mind. That realization was actually a big reason why I started this site.
*Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. What the hell does that mean? It means I might get compensated if you click on and purchase something from some of the links below.
And while writing a book is something I might aspire to do in the future (maybe when the kids have New Reminder Service to Help You Capture Those Precious Memoriesgrown and flown??), for now I’m so glad that authors like Kate Rope are filling the need. Kate’s new book Strong As A Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood should truly be a night stand staple for all moms. The book is an incredible guide that any mom, no matter what stage of motherhood are in, will love.
I was given a copy of the book from Kate and I glanced at the table of contents to see what I was in for. I immediately started circling chapter titles that caught my attention. There were so many that I thought to myself “Yep! Coulda used that when I was pregnant!” and there were many more that spoke to the struggles I have today of a mom to a six and three year old.
And the chapters didn’t disappoint. They were filled with expert advice (Kate clearly did her homework and spoke to a TON of experts) as well as advice from moms like you and me. The ones in the thick of it. And those bits of mom life realness really anchored the book for me.
I enjoyed the book so much that I invited Kate in to my private FB group so she could speak to my members about what she learned through writing the book. We chatted about all kinds of motherhood topics including *gasp* postpartum sex, how to stop the comparison game, finding your tribe, and more. Check out the full interview below!
I loved chatting with Kate in my group and her book is truly a must read. Grab it on Amazon here! And add it to your list of gifts to give at baby showers too!
I’m always up for a good parenting read, so give me your recommendations in the comments!