Contemporary Authors

• I Know It in My Heart: Walking through Grief with a Child She Writes Press (Berkeley, CA), 2017

• Mary E Plouffe - http://www.maryeplouffeauthor.com/bio.htm

  Biography

  Mary E. Plouffe Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist who has been treating children and adults for 30 years. Her private practice is in Falmouth, Maine. Information about Dr. Plouffe's clinical practice, and availabity for appointments can be found here. Her publication history is detailed here, and includes essays for NPR, On the Issues Magazine, Mothers Always Write, Brain, Child Magazine, and The Survivor Review as well as op-ed pieces in The Portland Press Herald and the Bangor Daily News. She was also the editor and contributing author of the Guidelines for the Practice of Forensic Psychology (1989), published by the Maine Society of Forensic Psychologists, of which she was a founding member, fellow and past president (1998-2000).

  Dr. Plouffe taught in the Maine Medical Center Psychiatry Residency program in both child and adult divisions for 14 years (1990- 2004), where she served as a clinical supervisor for psychotherapy training. She held an appointment as Assistant Clinical Professor at the University of Vermont Medical School (1992-2006). She taught courses in Adult Psychotherapy, Theories of Clinical Supervision, and Object Relations Theory and Practice. She was on the faculty of the Maternal and Child Development Evaluation Clinic of Maine Medical Center from 1986-1988.

  She is a 20 year founding member, Fellow and Past President (1998-2000) of the Maine Society of Forensic Psychologists. She has testified in court on issues of child custody, parental capacity and psychological assessment, and been a speaker in numerous conferences regarding these issues in both psychological and legal continuing education programs over a 25 year period.

  From 1981 to 1995 she served as a school psychological consultant to the Freeport Maine School system on a weekly basis and as an outside consultant to multiple public and private schools throughout southern Maine, conducting psychological and learning assessments (K-12) and consulting to educational faculty and staff. She continues to be a frequent lecturer on issues of child development, psychological impacts of current culture on children and adolescence, and related child and parenting issues. Her most recent presentation was at the Maine Medical Center Beach to Beacon Conference (August 2013) where she delivered a paper entitled Who Am I If I Cannot Run?: Dealing with Injury. She has served two terms on the Maine Board of Examiners of Psychologists (1985-1988, 1996-1999), where she managed statewide ethics complaints filed against psychologists and participated in the licensing assessment process. Prior to this appointment she was a member of the executive council of the Maine Psychological Association and President of the Maine society of Clinical Hypnosis. From 1999-2005, she served as Chairman of the Board of Directors of The Collaborative School in New Gloucester Maine, an independent program for the K-12 education and mental health treatment of children with behavioral and emotional special needs.

  She received her Ph.D. from the University of Connecticut in Clinical Psychology and also holds a M.Ed. in Counseling Psychology (Rehabilitation) from Boston University.

  Dr. Plouffe has three grown children, and lives with her husband in Cumberland, Maine.

  ©2018 Mary E Plouffe, Ph.D. Author – Website Design by Lighthouse Consulting – Cooperative Hosting by GAIA Host Collective

• Mary E Plouffe - http://www.maryplouffe.com/clinical.htm

  Private Practice:

  My private practice is currently limited to individual adults, couples and late adolescents. I work with a broad range of diagnoses, including trauma, depression and anxiety and issues related to chronic or life altering illness. Because of my interest and background in child treatment I also work on a consultation basis with those providing treatment to children and families.

  My training in both psychodynamic and social learning theories of change leads me to use an eclectic mix of treatment modalities. I encourage those who might be interested in meeting with me to call directly (207.232.2283) to talk about their needs. I believe the relationship between a therapist and a client is an important part of the healing process, and that this requires some exploration on both sides. Talking personally allows us to do this more naturally.
  Office Location and Hours:

  I am currently practicing at 251 US Rt 1 in Falmouth, Maine
  Please contact me by email or phone 207 232-2283 to discuss appointments.
  Insurance:

  As a sole practitioner, I do not submit insurance billing, and am not a participating provider in the major health plans. I do provide a receipt for your payment that contains the coding required for insurance processing. This can be submitted directly to your health insurance company for reimbursement to you. I encourage prospective clients to investigate what reimbursement their individual policy will allow.

• She Writes Press - https://shewritespress.com/portfolio/mary-e-plouffe/

  Mary E. Plouffe, PhD is a clinical psychologist with thirty-five years of experience as a clinician, teacher, and consultant. She has served on the faculty of Maine Medical Center psychiatry residency training program, the Maine Board of Examiners, and The Collaborate School, and has provided consultation to school and courts. Her essays have been published by NRR, On the Issues Magazine, Brain, Child Magazine, Survivor Review, and Mothers Always Write. Find additional information at www.maryplouffe.com.

QUOTED: "a bracing and accessible account of the conflict between emotion and intellect"
"a remarkable, empathetic, and intense exploration of the nature of grief and guilt, featuring searing personal insights as well as cleareyed professionalism."

Plouffe, Mary E.: I KNOW IT IN MY HEART
Kirkus Reviews.
(Mar. 15, 2018): From Book Review Index Plus. COPYRIGHT 2018 Kirkus Media LLC http://www.kirkusreviews.com/
Full Text:
Plouffe, Mary E. I KNOW IT IN MY HEART She Writes Press (Indie Nonfiction) $16.95 5, 2 ISBN: 978-1-63152-200-0
A veteran clinical psychologist examines cancer and a child's grief in this debut memoir.
When her firecracker sister Martha was diagnosed with breast cancer, Plouffe believed she had the tools to deal with whatever happened, including the interminable machinations of the insurance company, the roller coaster of recovery and relapse, and the demands of a large family scattered across three states. Martha and her doctors played the numbers game, but only one number mattered to this mother of a 3-year-old: "I need twenty years to raise Liamarie." And when a treatment designed to extend Martha's life inadvertently ended it, Plouffe was forced to inspect not only her own grief, but also that of the newly abandoned child. The author tells not only the story of "how we got through the horror" of Martha's death in the years that followed, but also "how we got back," detailing family members' exhausting emotional journeys as they attempted to heal and move on with their lives while managing Liamarie's mental health as she grew from toddler to teenager. As a psychologist dealing with trauma on a daily basis, Plouffe found herself reiterating the received wisdom that "grieving is a two-year process" only to discover the advice as lacking in the glut of platitudes that met her in the wake of Martha's death. She came to realize that "grief is not a broken heart...grief is a fractured soul," and her striking tale is one of reconciling her career experiences with the agonizing reality of personal loss, told in a manner that wisely avoids sentimentality and embraces the warts-and-all irrationality of mourning. Where a lesser writer might lean into the darling precocity of Liamarie and offer the child as a panacea to the suffering, Plouffe uses an almost clinical examination of the girl's development as a springboard to reconsidering her own attitude toward the grieving process. What results is a bracing and accessible account of the conflict between emotion and intellect.
1 of 2 6/24/18, 7:50 PM
http://go.galegroup.com/ps/marklist.do?actionCmd=GET_MA...
A remarkable, empathetic, and intense exploration of the nature of grief and guilt, featuring searing personal insights as well as cleareyed professionalism.
Source Citation (MLA 8th Edition)
"Plouffe, Mary E.: I KNOW IT IN MY HEART." Kirkus Reviews, 15 Mar. 2018. Book Review
Index Plus, http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A530650593/GPS?u=schlager&sid=GPS& xid=3a2feff0. Accessed 24 June 2018.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A530650593
2 of 2 6/24/18, 7:50 PM

• My Generation
  http://mygenerationmaine.com/2017/08/02/walking-through-grief-with-a-child/
  Word count: 1274

  QUOTED: "The biggest lesson was how different child and adult grief can be. Adult grief is about a person we have known and loved. We can remember past times and imagine future ones that will never be as we adapt to our loss. We understand finality, permanence and forever. We have a relationship that is defined and known, and we can integrate that with our understanding of death."
  "For young children, so many of these constructs have not yet been formed. They can only understand what they have lost right now, and they must grow into understanding of what that loss will mean to them as they mature and develop."

  Walking Through Grief with a Child’

  My Genre
  By
  Amy Canfield -
  August 2, 2017

  Mary E. Plouffe put her grief down on paper when her sister Martha died of cancer in 1998.

  “I wrote to survive, to soothe my own pain,” says Plouffe, a clinical psychologist in Falmouth.

  But her personal writing soon took on another purpose, a way for her to help her brother-in-law handle the grief of his and Martha’s delightful 3-year-old daughter, Liamarie.

  Plouffe, who had been her niece’s caretaker during her mother’s hospitalization, started to write also “to remember and process what Liamarie was saying and doing,” she says, and she shared that with her brother-in-law. “We both wanted to have clear memories to offer Liamarie when she was grown, and the writing was a way to do that.”

  From that came Plouffe’s recent memoir, “I Know It in My Heart, Walking Through Grief with a Child,” a gripping journey through the death of a beloved, strong sister and the mother of a young child. The journey for Plouffe began in her mid-40s, followed her into her 50s, and she’s now in her late 60s. It winds up as a book that offers gentle wisdom and understanding applicable to anyone grieving a loss.

  Contacted during a summer whirlwind of a national book tour, speaking at a number of centers for grieving children and other venues, Plouffe talked with My Generation about her book.

  Q: You write that you thought you knew about grief, but that through your sister’s death you came to learn more about yourself and your niece. Can you describe the biggest lesson?
  A: The biggest lesson was how different child and adult grief can be. Adult grief is about a person we have known and loved. We can remember past times and imagine future ones that will never be as we adapt to our loss. We understand finality, permanence and forever. We have a relationship that is defined and known, and we can integrate that with our understanding of death.

  For young children, so many of these constructs have not yet been formed. They can only understand what they have lost right now, and they must grow into understanding of what that loss will mean to them as they mature and develop. They can miss the arms that soothed them at 3, but cannot know what it will feel like to miss those arms at 13, when their needs are so different. Missing Mother becomes Missing Mothering, and that becomes weaving Motherlessness into their sense of self and the world as they grow. What does it mean about me that I do not have a mother? What does it mean about safety, security and intimacy? These definitions are shaped by an early loss.

  Children grow into their grief. They may have few, if any real memories of the person they lost, but the loss affects them deeply, nonetheless, as they grow cognitively and emotionally.

  Q: How did your education and career help you with this experience? Did it hinder you in any way?
  A: Being a psychologist made this book possible. Others have more horrific stories to share; others are better writers. What I had to offer that was unique was the lens of my experience as a therapist, consultant and clinician. I hope that gives our story some special value to those who are experiencing grief themselves, or trying to help a child. My training gave me the language to describe what we were both experiencing and hopefully to translate that into understanding that is useful to the reader. The challenge was to balance the “voice” of the book, staying true to my personal pain while occasionally adding my professional observation and analysis.

  Q: There is a particularly moving passage in the book about “sisterloss,” where you express the uniqueness of grieving a sister’s death, and even your anger when people try to commiserate. For people who haven’t read the book yet, can you explain?
  A: Martha’s death was not the first in my life, but it was the one I felt most deeply. Adult sibling loss is often minimized in our culture, and often called a “disenfranchised loss,” somehow less significant than other losses. But siblings share your earliest stories, the truths as you learned them in your family. Even if you have grown apart in adulthood, that shared history is lost with them, and we grieve that. I was discovering the uniqueness of loss, and in those early stages of grief, no one’s loss matters but your own. Only later does the universality of loss soothe, once we have explored our own story deeply and fully, and can go beyond it to reach out to others who offer comfort.

  Q: How has writing this memoir and having it out there changed you?
  A: Writing the memoir was a huge challenge. It required me to be more open, more disclosing and more honest about myself. But grieving one loss deeply often helps us integrate and grieve other losses in our lives. There’s a richness in that, and I am grateful that the writing process gave me that opportunity. It has also given me a chance to share our story in a way that turns tragedy to good. Martha was a rebel, a crusader, and she would have liked that. She would have wanted me not to waste our pain, but to shape it into something worthwhile. So, a little piece of her courage lives in me now, and I am grateful for that.

  Q: Is there anything else you would like readers to know about your story?
  A: I hope others who are introverted, solo grievers will find comfort in hearing my story. Not all of us reach out to others first when we hurt. We reach inward, to time alone, to music, to whatever it is that soothes our soul. That was my path.

  I want to encourage readers to see that as normal and healthy as well, even though it is so different from the extroverted path of reaching for people and support from others. We need a balance for sure, but there is no one RIGHT way to grieve. There is only YOUR way, the path each of us must find that heals.

  Q: How is Liamarie?
  A: Liamarie graduated from a top university with distinction in June 2016 and is on a teaching fellowship in England for a year. She continues to be a strong resilient young woman, a leader in her peer group, and a political activist who makes us all proud.

  Amy Canfield is a writer, editor and bibliophile. She lives in South Portland.