Contemporary Authors

• Babycalm: A Guide for Calmer Babies and Happier Parents Piatkus (London, England), 2012
• Gentle Discipline: Using Emotional Connection---Not Punishment---to Raise Confident, Capable Kids TarcherPerigee (New York, NY), 2017

1. Babycalm : a guide for parents on sleep techniques, feeding schedules, and bonding with your new baby LCCN 2013035874 Type of material Book Personal name Ockwell-Smith, Sarah, author. Main title Babycalm : a guide for parents on sleep techniques, feeding schedules, and bonding with your new baby / Sarah Ockwell-Smith. Published/Produced New York : Skyhorse Publishing, 2014. Description xxv, 241 pages : illustrations ; 23 cm ISBN 9781628736700 (pbk.) Shelf Location FLM2015 098965 CALL NUMBER HQ774 .O325 2014 OVERFLOWJ34 Request in Jefferson or Adams Building Reading Rooms (FLM2) 2. Gentle discipline : using emotional connection-not punishment-to raise confident, capable kids LCCN 2017015635 Type of material Book Personal name Ockwell-Smith, Sarah, author. Main title Gentle discipline : using emotional connection-not punishment-to raise confident, capable kids / Sarah Ockwell-Smith. Published/Produced New York, New York : A TarcherPerigee Book, [2017] Description xxiv, 246 pages : illustrations ; 21 cm ISBN 9780143131892 (alk. paper) CALL NUMBER HQ770.4 .O25 2017 CABIN BRANCH Copy 1 Request in Jefferson or Adams Building Reading Rooms - STORED OFFSITE

• Ready, Set, Go!: A Gentle Parenting Guide to Calmer, Quicker Potty Training - 2018 TarcherPerigee, New York
• The Gentle Potty Training Book: The calmer, easier approach to toilet training - 2017 Little, Brown Book Group, Boston
• Why Your Baby's Sleep Matters - 2016 Pinter & Martin Ltd, London
• The Gentle Parenting Book: How to raise calmer, happier children from birth to seven - 2016 Little, Brown Book Group, Boston
• ToddlerCalm: A guide for calmer toddlers and happier parents - 2015 Piatkus, London
• The Gentle Sleep Book - 2015 Little, Brown Book Group, Boston

• British National Library Listings with Original Pub Dates -

  The gentle sleep book : a guide for calm babies, toddlers and pre-schoolers / Sarah Ockwell-Smith.
  Author: Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author.
  Subjects: Infants -- Sleep; Preschool children -- Sleep; Toddlers -- Sleep; Dewey: 613.7940833
  Rights: Terms governing use: COPYRIGHTED Access restrictions: NON_PRINT_LEGAL_DEPOSIT
  Publication Details: London : Piatkus, [2015]
  Language: English
  Identifier: ISBN 9780349405216 (ePub ebook) : £13.99; ISBN £13.99; BNB GBB502511; System number 017159020
  Related Titles: Print version : 9780349405209
  Notes: Formerly CIP. Bibliography note: Includes bibliographical references and index.
  Physical Description: 1 online resource : illustrations
  Shelfmark(s): General Reference Collection DRT ELD.DS.12033

  BabyCalm : a guide for calmer babies & happier parents / Sarah Ockwell-Smith.

  Author: Sarah Ockwell-Smith
  Subjects: Parenting; Infants; Dewey: 649.1
  Publication Details: London : Piatkus, 2012.
  Language: English
  Identifier: ISBN 9780749958282 (paperback) : £13.99; ISBN 0749958286 (paperback) : £13.99; ISBN £13.99; ISBN £13.99; BNB GBB261954; System number 016111314
  Notes: Formerly CIP. Bibliography note: Includes bibliographical references and index. Additional phys. form: Also issued online.
  Physical Description: xv, 255 pages : illustrations ; 24 cm
  Shelfmark(s): General Reference Collection YK.2013.a.14889

  Shelfmark(s):

  General Reference Collection YK.2013.a.14889

  Why your baby's sleep matters / Sarah Ockwell-Smith.

  Author: Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author.
  Subjects: Infants -- Sleep -- Popular works; Dewey: 649.122
  Publication Details: London : Pinter and Martin, 2016.
  Language: English
  Identifier: ISBN 9781780665450 (pbk.) : £7.99; ISBN £4.99; ISBN £4.99; ISBN £4.99; ISBN £4.99; BNB GBB627398; System number 017749808
  Related Titles: ebook version : 9781780665481
  Notes: Formerly CIP. Bibliography note: Includes bibliographical references and index. Additional phys. form: Also issued online.
  Physical Description: 160 pages : illustrations ; 18 cm.
  Series: Pinter & Martin why it matters ; 1
  Shelfmark(s): General Reference Collection YKL.2017.a.7066

  cover

  Shelfmark(s):

  General Reference Collection YKL.2017.a.7066

  The gentle parenting book : how to raise calmer, happier children from birth to seven / Sarah Ockwell-Smith.

  Author: Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author.
  Subjects: Child rearing; Dewey: 649.1
  Rights: Terms governing use: COPYRIGHTED Access restrictions: NON_PRINT_LEGAL_DEPOSIT
  Publication Details: London : Piatkus, 2016.
  Language: English
  Identifier: ISBN 9780349408736 (ePub ebook) : £13.99; ISBN £13.99; BNB GBB621806; System number 017738740
  Related Titles: Print version : 9780349408729
  Physical Description: 1 online resource.
  Shelfmark(s): General Reference Collection DRT ELD.DS.55788

  Shelfmark(s):

  General Reference CollectionDRT ELD.DS.55788

  The gentle potty training book : the calmer, easier approach to toilet training / Sarah Ockwell-Smith.

  Author: Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author.
  Subjects: Toilet training; Dewey: 649.62
  Rights: Terms governing use: COPYRIGHTED Access restrictions: NON_PRINT_LEGAL_DEPOSIT
  Publication Details: London : Piatkus, 2017.
  Language: English
  Identifier: ISBN 9780349414430 (ebook) : £10.99; ISBN £10.99; BNB GBB7D9762; System number 018462741
  Related Titles: Print version : 9780349414447
  Physical Description: 1 online resource : illustrations (black and white).
  Series: Gentle
  Shelfmark(s): General Reference Collection DRT ELD.DS.216991

  Shelfmark(s):

  General Reference CollectionDRT ELD.DS.216991

  The gentle discipline book : how to raise co-operative, polite and helpful children / Sarah Ockwell-Smith.

  Author: Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author.
  Subjects: Discipline of children; Dewey: 649.64
  Rights: Terms governing use: COPYRIGHTED Access restrictions: NON_PRINT_LEGAL_DEPOSIT
  Publication Details: London : Piatkus, 2017.
  Language: English
  Identifier: ISBN 9780349412429 (ePub ebook) : £14.99; ISBN £14.99; BNB GBB701492; System number 018164279
  Related Titles: Print version : 9780349412412
  Physical Description: 1 online resource.
  Shelfmark(s): General Reference Collection DRT ELD.DS.132177

  Shelfmark(s):

  General Reference CollectionDRT ELD.DS.132177

  ToddlerCalm : a guide for calmer toddlers & happier parents / Sarah Ockwell-Smith ; foreword by Dr Oliver James.

  Author: Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author.
  Subjects: Toddlers; Parenting; Dewey: 649.122
  Rights: Terms governing use: COPYRIGHTED Access restrictions: NON_PRINT_LEGAL_DEPOSIT
  Publication Details: London : Piatkus, 2013.
  Language: English
  Identifier: ISBN 9781405528597 (EPUB); BNB GBB596507; System number 016778511
  Notes: Bibliography note: Includes bibliographical references and index. Additional phys. form: Also issued in print format.
  Physical Description: 1 online resource : illustrations (black and white)
  Shelfmark(s): General Reference Collection DRT ELD.DS.4057

  Shelfmark(s):

  General Reference CollectionDRT ELD.DS.4057

• Eve White Literary Agency Website - http://evewhite.co.uk/authors/sarah-ockwell-smith/

  Sarah Ockwell-Smith lives with her four school-aged children, four cats and a flock of chickens in a 350 year old cottage in rural Essex.

  Sarah holds a BSc in Psychology and has worked for several years in Pharmaceutical Research and Development. After the birth of her firstborn she retrained as a homeopath, hypnotherapist, antenatal teacher and doula, revelling in the mix of holistic viewpoints.

  In 2007 Sarah founded BabyCalm, an organisation which has over 120 teachers in 12 countries, and a sister company called ToddlerCalm. Sarah writes two popular parenting blogs which are visited by a million readers a year and her personal website receives an average of 200,000 reads per month.

  She is a regular ‘go to’ expert for Tesco Baby Club and Sky News and also writes for the mainstream press and various parenting magazines.

  Her website, Gentle Parenting, covering everything from fertility, pregnancy and birth, can be found here, followed on twitter here and Facebook here.

• Sarah Ockwell-Smith - https://sarahockwell-smith.com/

  About Sarah Ockwell-Smith – Parenting Expert
  Sarah Ockwell-Smith is a well known parenting expert and a highly regarded popular parenting author who specialises in the psychology and science of parenting, ‘gentle parenting’ and attachment theory.

  Sarah is famed for her gentle, science rich, yet easy to read books and her down-to-earth manner and ability to translate her vast knowledge of parenting science into easy to understand language.

  sarahheadsmall

  Born in Bedfordshire, England in 1976, Sarah Ockwell-Smith is a mother of four school aged children, three boys and one girl. Sarah lives with her family, cats and numerous ducks and chickens in a 350 year old cottage in rural Essex.

  After graduating with an honors degree in Psychology, specialising in child development, she embarked on a five year career in Pharmaceutical Research and Development, working with clinical trial data, until she became pregnant with her first child in 2001. After the birth of her firstborn Sarah retrained as an Antenatal Teacher, Hypnotherapist/Psychotherapist, Developmental Infant Massage Instructor and Birth and Postnatal Doula. Over the years Sarah has updated her knowledge with various study days and courses including paediatric first aid, paediatric safeguarding, perinatal psychology and birth trauma.

  Sarah now works as a parenting author, writer and coach. With a particular interest in child sleep.

  Many refer to Sarah as an Attachment Parenting expert, however Sarah herself does not like this term as she feels it may ostracize many parents from learning about more gentle parenting techniques. She prefers instead to promote ‘Gentle Parenting’, which she feels is more appealing to the mainstream with less perceived restrictions and rules.

  Sarah is also the co-founder of www.gentleparenting.co.uk.

  Sarah offers a limited amount of support to parents via email and in person, learn more HERE. She also runs Gentle Sleep Training – a service offering gentle sleep training advice to parents of under five year olds.

  Sarah also offers a range of services for media and corporations, you can learn more about these HERE.

  Print

  Sarah is a member of The British Sleep Society.

• Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Ockwell-Smith

  Sarah Ockwell-Smith
  From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  Sarah Ockwell-Smith (born c. 1976) is an author of parenting and childcare books in the United Kingdom and a proponent of attachment parenting.

  Contents [hide]
  1 Published works
  2 Co-Sleeping and Attachment Parenting
  3 Personal life
  4 References
  Published works[edit]
  Ockwell-Smith's first book BabyCalm,[1] published in 2012, focusses on parenting from birth to six months. Her second book ToddlerCalm,[2] published in 2013, focusses on parenting from one to three years of age. In 2015 Ockwell-Smith branched away from the 'Calm' line of books to release The Gentle Sleep Book.[3] The Gentle Sleep Book offers sleep advice from birth to five years and does not involve any controlled crying techniques. The Gentle Sleep Book sold 25,000 UK copies in the first year of publication and frequently appears on bestseller lists. The Gentle Parenting Book,[4] which provides an introduction to gentle parenting from birth to seven years, was published in Spring 2016, closely followed by Why Your Baby's Sleep Matters,[5] also in Spring 2016.

  Ockwell-Smith is contracted to write a further three books in the 'Gentle' series: The Gentle Discipline Book[6] and The Gentle Potty Training Book, both to be published in 2017, and The Gentle Eating Book, to be published in 2018.

  Ockwell-Smith's books have been translated into several different languages, including Chinese, Estonian, Romanian, Russian and Turkish. She is represented by Eve White Literary Agency [7] and published by Piatkus, an imprint of the Little, Brown book group and Pinter and Martin, an independent publisher based in London, UK.

  Co-Sleeping and Attachment Parenting[edit]
  Ockwell-Smith is commonly seen as an authority in attachment parenting and co-sleeping and has appeared on UK television on Channel 5 news [8] and Good Morning Britain [9] discussing recent changes to NICE guidance and accompanying safety. Ockwell-Smith was also interviewed for Sky News as a parenting expert surrounding the birth of Prince George. Ockwell-Smith gives expert commentary, on parenting, on several national radio stations and appeared on BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour[10] as a guest in Spring 2016,

  Ockwell-Smith is a frequent contributor to articles in the British press concerning parenting.[11][12] She contributes to several lifestyle and parenting websites including Female First,[13] AOL Parentdish,[14] Yahoo Lifestyle [15] and Tesco Baby Club.[16] Ockwell-Smith writes regularly for The Huffington Post.[17]

  Personal life[edit]
  Ockwell-Smith is married with four children.[18] She was born in Bedfordshire and raised in Bishops Stortford, Hertfordshire where she attended the Hertfordshire and Essex High School. She currently lives in Saffron Walden Essex. Ockwell-Smith holds an honours degree in Psychology awarded from the University of Greenwich and also holds qualifications in antenatal education. Before working as an author Ockwell-Smith worked as a doula and Hypnobirthing teacher.

• Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Sarah%20Ockwell-Smith/e/B007L3YENI/ref=la_B007L3YENI_rf_p_n_feature_browse-b_0?fst=as%3Aoff&rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_82%3AB007L3YENI%2Cp_n_feature_browse-bin%3A2656022011&bbn=283155&sort=date-desc-rank&ie=UTF8&qid=1517124026&rnid=618072011

  Sarah Ockwell-Smith is the mother of four children. She has a BS in Psychology and worked for several years in Pharmaceutical Research and Development. Following the birth of her first child, Sarah re-trained as an Antenatal Teacher and Birth and Postnatal Doula. She has also undertaken training in Baby Massage, Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy. Sarah specialises in gentle parenting methods and writes a parenting blog (www.sarahockwell-smith.com), which is read by 3 million parents per year. Sarah is the author of BabyCalm, ToddlerCalm, The Gentle Sleep Book, The Gentle Parenting Book, Why Your Baby's Sleep Matters and Gentle Discipline. She frequently writes for magazines and newspapers, and is often called upon as a parenting expert for television and radio.

• Karen Doherty - http://www.karendoherty.com/interview-with-sarah-ockwell-smith/

  Interview with Sarah Ockwell-Smith: Parenting Author, Founder & Director of BabyCalm Ltd.
  Last updated on 10 July 2013 by Sarah Ockwell-Smith Topic: Babies 1 Comment

  inShare

  Baby Calming

  By Sarah Ockwell-Smith BSc(hons), Dip Hom(ACH), HBCE

  Here is the VERY BEST advice I can offer to first-time Mum Kate – and EVERY mum!

  It comes from Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author of BabyCalm and founder of BabyCalm parenting classes. When I met Sarah I was immediately impressed by her approach.<> and impose prescriptive routines. But as soon as we’re able to <>. What Sarah says is common sense and is – hands down – the best advice I’ve ever seen for parents:

  K – What would you say are the most common reasons babies are restless or cry?
  S – Gosh, that’s a tough one, all babies are individuals so we can’t presume that they all cry for the same reasons, but if you’re talking about young babies, under 4 months, commonly the top reasons tend to be hunger/thirst, a need for close physical contact and neurological immaturity meaning that babies do not possess the ability to ‘self soothe’ via emotional self-regulation. Less common reasons would be things such as trapped wind and reflux, though sadly these seem to be thought of as the most common reasons that babies cry.

  Breastfeeding and birth related issues also get overlooked, a baby who is tongue tied often will not be able to feed efficiently and can often be unsettled and a baby who has had a difficult birth can be suffering from torticollis or cranial compression that has yet to rectify.

  K – What are your top tips for parents to keep their babies calm?
  S – Skin to skin and close physical contact, every time. Babies are meant to be with us, they are not meant to settle themselves in a moses basket or crib. Research shows that babies who are regularly held and carried cry significantly less (about 50% less!) than those who are not, holding our babies ‘in arms’ or carrying them in a sling is perhaps the easiest way to calm a baby. When we keep our babies close we also help to regulate their temperature and breathing and the release of oxytocin (the love and bonding hormone) helps to relax and calm both parent and baby. When babies are calm parents tend to be and when parents are calm babies tend to be too!

  K – These things sound so obvious. Why do you think some parents have such a tough time?
  S – Because we don’t raise children in ‘tribes’ anymore and we don’t value motherhood. Once upon a time we would raise our families with the aid of many more experienced, wiser mothers, we would grow up surrounded by babies. Motherhood was truly valued. Now we live separated from our families, we are rushed back to work, pressured to ‘have it all’ in the new ‘yummy mummy’ phase and our babies are expected to behave in a way that is entirely unnatural in order to make them fit into our modern day lives. Something has to give. Sadly that is often maternal mental health. Modern day ‘baby experts’ only add to this problem with their authoritarian, prescriptive manuals, leaving mothers confused and feeling as if they have failed if their baby isn’t suitably ‘contented’. We have forgotten what it means to be instinctual.

  K – Why is bonding with your baby important?
  S – On a chemical level bonding – and the release of oxytocin – can literally change the child’s life, for the better or worse. The first three years of a child’s life are the most important when you consider their future brain structure and personalities. Without a doubt science shows us that the most important thing in a child’s life in these formative years is a close, loving, nurturing relationship with its mother (to be PC here I should say ‘caregiver’ but my belief is the maternal relationship is the most crucial!). When oxytocin is free flowing and mother and baby bond everything is easier, breastfeeding, tuning into your maternal instinct, understanding your baby, communicating with them, empathy and calming all go hand in hand.

  K – Can you recommend a couple of ways parents can improve the chances of bonding with their babies?
  S – Tuning out the rest of the world, literally ignoring all of the well meant advice, staying home and doing nothing but just ‘being’ with your baby, as much skin to skin as possible (in the bath, in bed!), babywearing, and just revel in you crazy beautiful new world mindful only of the present.

  If the birth has been traumatic then often this can prove a block to bonding, so talking about the birth as much as possible – whether that be with your midwife, a birth afterthoughts service, a helpline such as the Birth Crisis helpline or practicing ‘re-birthing’ with your baby. For more on that see my article here: How to Heal from a Traumatic Birth & Bond with Your Baby

  K – What would you say to parents who worry that holding their babies too much will make their babies spoiled, thus creating a rod for their own backs?
  S – That it is just simply not possible to spoil a baby, particularly not with love! The experts, friends or family members who tell them otherwise are just demonstrating their ignorance of psychology and neuroscience which resoundingly tells us that the ‘best’ thing to do with a baby is to love and nurture them as much as possible. Before Independence first comes dependence, the best way to raise a confident, independent child is to allow them to be dependent on you for as long as they need to, and if you listen to your instinct you won’t go far wrong! As Donald Winnicott says when he refers to the ‘Good Enough Mother’ “If mothers are told to do this or that or the other,… they lose touch with their own ability to act…. Only too easily they feel incompetent. If they must look up everything in a book, they are always too late even when they do the right things, because the right things have to be done immediately. It is only possible to act at exactly the right point when the action is intuitive or by instinct, as we say.” So throw out the books, ignore the advice and just enjoy this precious, short-lasting time with your baby – it goes too quickly and you will never regret holding your baby too much!

  For the best start to your baby’s life, buy Sarah’s book, BabyCalm: A Guide for Calmer Babies and Happier Parents, or sign up for her BabyCalm Parent Classes on her website babycalming.com.

  xxKaren

• NY Metro Parents - https://www.nymetroparents.com/article/interview-with-sarah-ockwell-smith

  Interview With Sarah Ockwell-Smith On Using Gentle Discipline
  Interview With Sarah Ockwell-Smith On Using Gentle Discipline

  INTERVIEWS/PROFILES
  Bethany Braun-Silva
  By Bethany Braun-Silva
  August 31, 2017
  Share
  Advice for parents on how remain calm, even in the most trying situations.
  Sarah Ockwell-Smith is a parenting expert and founder of gentleparentinginternational.com. She recently published Gentle Discipline: Using Emotional Connection—Not Punishment—to Raise Confident, Capable Kids.

  What are some misconceptions parents have about disciplining their kids? There are three main <> parents have around child behavior and discipline. One, far <>. They expect quite sophisticated thought processes and neurological regulation that children just don’t have yet because their brains are not fully developed. A good example is expecting a toddler to not tantrum or to be able to calm down in the middle of a tantrum. Toddlers tantrum because they have really poor emotion regulation skills. They can’t control their emotions like we can as adults—they’re not being naughty, just being toddlers! Two, most mainstream discipline methods work on the presumption that kids need to be motivated to “do better.” In fact, most kids are motivated to do better. They don’t want to get in trouble or upset you. Most misbehave because they can’t do better. The motivation is there already, it’s the ability that is missing. Three, another problem with mainstream discipline is, it focuses strongly on <>s. The thing is, a major cause of poor behavior is a lack of self-esteem in kids. If they feel bad, they’ll act bad.

  What tips do you have for parents when they feel they are about to lose their temper? I think it’s important that we have realistic expectations of our own behavior. Everybody screws up as a parent and everybody loses their temper sometimes, including myself. Stop trying to be perfect. Accept that anger and losing control are normal parts of life as a parent and it doesn’t mean that you’re not good at it! What is important is keeping a check on your own emotions. Being mindful of how you’re feeling, trying to reduce triggers and taking a break to recharge when you feel frazzled. When you feel that you just can’t take any more, you need an emergency break from your kids. Maybe a day with friends, going for a run—whatever it is that replenishes and relaxes you.

  What’s your take on “time-outs?” Time-outs work on the idea that separating the child from yourself and their peers punishes them for their wrongdoing and makes them think about what they’ve done wrong. This time in quiet contemplation is meant to make the child behave more appropriately next time. Unfortunately, none of these assumptions are true. Young kids don’t have the brain development for such sophisticated thought, they don’t have a developed sense of empathy, they can’t think about future actions, and they can’t control their behavior anywhere near as much as adults think they can. Another huge problem with time-out is, kids often misbehave because they feel a disconnect with their caregivers. It makes no sense that a child who is desperate for love and attention is further separated—it just makes them feel worse, which in time will make their behavior problems escalate.

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  How can parents start to change old patterns of yelling at their kids? You have to start with revisiting your childhood and trying to become mindful about your own parenting skills. So often we discipline subconsciously, by that I mean we just repeat the discipline our parents used without really thinking about it. Our reactions are very often memories of our past, not a really mindful look at the current situation. Being aware of your propensity to yell is really important. I'm a huge yeller by nature, my mother yelled at me as a kid and if I don't keep my actions in check then my default setting is to yell at my kids. When you feel a yell coming on, try to take a pause and ask yourself "why am I doing this? what is it going to achieve? is there a better way I could respond?". I think though, that's it's important to not be too hard on yourself. It's not realistic to set a goal of never yelling, you won't achieve it and you'll give up. Instead, think to yourself "I'm going to reduce my yelling by 50% each day", which is a fantastic start!

  My kid refuses to clean his room. What do you suggest? First of all, I think we need to understand that no kid likes cleaning their room. Most adults don't either. So you have to start from a position that it's a necessary task, but it's not fun. A lot of empathy towards your kid there is important. Have conversations saying "I know you don't want to do it, I hate it too - but do you know why it's important?". Showing them clips of dustmites and bacteria can help them to understand hygiene. Think of ways to give the child control over the cleaning and tidying - e.g "OK, so your room needs to be done, do you want to do it on Saturday or Sunday? Morning or afternoon?". Too often kids have no control, they're just told to "do your room now". Next think about making it fun. Put on some loud music, do a silly dance, since a song you make up, have a race for who can tidy an area quickest. Join in with them if you can. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, you have to remember that you are your childrens' role model. If you want them to keep their room tidy and clean, you have to keep your rooms tidy and clean. If you're messy, you're going to raise messy kids. That's not their fault - they're just copying you!

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Print Marked Items
Gentle Discipline: Using Emotional
Connection- Not Punishment- to Raise
Confident, Capable Kids
Publishers Weekly.
264.20 (May 15, 2017): p52.
COPYRIGHT 2017 PWxyz, LLC
http://www.publishersweekly.com/
Full Text:
Gentle Discipline: Using Emotional Connection--Not Punishment--to Raise Confident, Capable Kids
Sarah Ockwell-Smith. TarcherPerigee, $16 trade paper (272p) ISBN 978-0-14-313189-2
Ockwell-Smith, a parenting blogger, presents <> of parenting. Her aim is to help parents comprehend why their kids misbehave and how they can
respond effectively and gently, first by replacing old-fashioned reward-and-punishment behaviorist ideas
with<< "authoritative">> but not <<"authoritarian">> models oriented toward self-esteem. Furthermore, OckwellSmith
writes, her plan takes into account current ideas about childhood neurological development and
cognitive ability. While the first three chapters delve into the science of behavior and learning, and chapter
four identifies what's wrong with familiar disciplinary methods, the rest of the book addresses, in individual
chapters, common problem areas. For example, "parental demons," the baggage parents carry from their
pasts, can sabotage "gentle discipline," so one chapter gives guidance for modeling the behavior parents
want to see in their children. A valuable, simple intervention mnemonic, SPACE--stay calm, proper
expectations, affinity for your child, connect and contain your own emotions, explain and set a good
example--sums up Ockwell-Smith's parenting tenets nicely. This volume offers a natural next step for
attachment-parenting proponents. (Sept.)
Source Citation (MLA 8th
Edition)
"Gentle Discipline: Using Emotional Connection--Not Punishment--to Raise Confident, Capable Kids."
Publishers Weekly, 15 May 2017, p. 52. General OneFile,
http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A492435675/ITOF?u=schlager&sid=ITOF&xid=81a64935.
Accessed 4 Feb. 2018.
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It's a hard job, but someone's gotta do it
Amy Scribner
BookPage.
(Aug. 2017): p20.
COPYRIGHT 2017 BookPage
http://bookpage.com/
Full Text:
Raising children has never been more complex, but with a mix of expertise, humor and compassion, these
parenting books offer important advice for parenting in the modern age.
It's pretty easy to focus on weaknesses--our own and our kids'. How many times do we start sentences with
"don't" or focus on the average grades on the report card instead of the excellent ones? In The Strength
Switch (Avery, $27, 352 pages, ISBN 9781101983645), Lea Waters, founding director of the Centre for
Positive Psychology at the University of Melbourne, urges parents to move away from the negativity bias
and offers strategies for helping children build important strengths such as gratitude, self-control and
mindfulness.
"Savoring and gratitude help us and our children recognize the good times, intensify the juiciness of the
moment, and do the strength building that happens when life is good," she writes.
Waters writes with typical Australian sunniness and uses stories from families (including her own) and
educators to illustrate her points. The Strength Shift offers a roadmap for making small shifts that will yield
big results for children.
LAUGH IT OFF
Jen Hatmaker and her husband, Brandon, are pastors in Austin, Texas. She's the bestselling author of 11
books, including several Bible studies, but her brand of religion is so inclusive, nonjudgmental and loving
that her writing feels accessible to any woman--Christian or not--seeking wisdom about how to embrace a
messy, beautiful life.
Hatmaker's latest book, Of Mess and Moxie (Thomas Nelson, $22.99, 224 pages, ISBN 9780718031848), is
not strictly about parenting. She writes passionately about many aspects of modern female life, such as
resiliency, the importance of creating art and how to find time to exercise (although she admits that, for her,
"The problem is, I prefer watching Netflix and eating snacks."). But her most poignant and hilarious
chapters focus on her family of five children. From having the sex talk with her kids to grocery shopping
for a family of seven, she mixes her advice with a healthy dose of humor and writes in a conversational tone
that makes you feel like she's confiding in you.
TURNING POINT
Many in our society are still grasping what it means to be transgender, although the recent high-profile
transition of Caitlyn Jenner has helped educate Americans on the issue. Transgender Children and Youth by
Elijah C. Nealy (Norton, $27.95, 448 pages, ISBN 9780393711394) is an invaluable resource for those
supporting children who are transgender. Nealy--a professor, clergyman and transgender man--provides indepth
explanations of what it means to be transgender and to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and what
therapy and medical transitions entail. Perhaps most importantly, Nealy details how to work with young
people and their families who are dealing with issues surrounding gender dyspho-ria and gender diversity.
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Although the book is geared toward mental health providers and educators, it is a comprehensive and
compassionate narrative that will prove useful for anyone seeking to better understand and support
transgender youth. Using vignettes from his years of personal experience, as well as suggested approaches
for professionals to take during family conversations, Ne-aly focuses not only on coming out as transgender
but also on building and living a life as a happy trans-gender individual.
NO SHAME
Sarah Ockwell-Smith, a doula and homeopath, opens Gentle Discipline (TarcherPerigee, $16, 272 pages,
ISBN 9780143131892) with a bold statement: "Almost everything we think we know about disciplining
children today is wrong."
Can't get your toddler to brush his teeth? Why is your son suddenly swearing like a pirate? Ockwell-Smith
may be a parenting expert, but even she has experience with her own son yelling an expletive in public. The
truth was, her son was tired, he was hot, and he was thirsty. "He just snapped. Just as we all do at times,"
Ock-well-Smith writes.
That's the beauty of Ock-well-Smith's guidance: She's <> into
why your kid can go from angel to monster in 10 seconds flat. She details how children's brains develop,
how they learn and some common physiological triggers for poor behavior (such as sugar, lack of sleep and
plain old sensory overload), as well as psychological ones (mimicking the actions they see in others).
But what's truly thought provoking is Ockwell-Smith's view that most common discipline methods just
don't work. Physical punishment like spanking causes kids to be more defiant. Distraction prevents children
from discovering that emotions are OK. Ockwell-Smith offers excellent "gentle discipline" strategies for
addressing some of the most common issues, such as whining, sibling rivalry and lying. This is a handbook
for end-of-their-rope parents looking for a fresh approach to discipline.
BOYS AT THEIR BEST
If you're looking for help with parenting your teenage boy, turn to He's Not Lazy (Sterling, $19.95, 288
pages, ISBN 9781454916871) by Adam Price. As the mother of a 12-year-old son, I was drawn to child
psychologist Price's empa-thetic views. He writes, "Not only are there the physical changes to contend with,
but on a deeper level your son is grappling with profound questions... Who am I? What do I believe in?
What should I become, and do I have what it takes to get there?"
Price focuses specifically on boys, as boys are much likelier to be diagnosed with learning disabilities, and
many education specialists believe boys "are at an intrinsic disadvantage in a classroom that discourages
their natural tendency to be active, and competitive." So rather than facing failure, boys simply opt out and
are thus likely to be labeled as lazy.
Parents can help combat this by being their sons' advocates. No, this doesn't mean hovering while your son
does his homework. It means helping your son find his own motivation. As Price puts it, "The qualities you
most want him to develop--self-control, self-determination, self-regulation--all begin with the same word."
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Price outlines common-sense tactics to support boys in finding those "self" words. I have a feeling I'll be
pulling this book off the shelf to consult for years to come.
[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]
Source Citation (MLA 8th
Edition)
Scribner, Amy. "It's a hard job, but someone's gotta do it." BookPage, Aug. 2017, p. 20. General OneFile,
http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A499345383/ITOF?u=schlager&sid=ITOF&xid=e1340305.
Accessed 4 Feb. 2018.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A499345383