Contemporary Authors

• Talking About Death Won't Kill You: The Essential Guide to End-of-Life Conversations - 2018 ECW, Toronto, ON, Canada

• author's site - https://www.kathyk-m.com/

  Kathy thinks about dying and death a lot! She knows it helps her to embrace life full on. She is an unconventional death educator with a passion for palliative care and improving the end of life care for all. Kathy has been teaching and researching at Lakehead University for over a decade inspiring and challenging the future healthcare providers of tomorrow to be prepared to care for individuals who are dying and their families in all healthcare settings. She leverages her experiences as a cancer survivor and as a palliative care provider to challenge us to have the important conversations about dying, death and life. Kathy strives to make an impact with her teaching, research and speaking to discover, share and communicate the information that we are all "dying to know."

  Research and Knowledge Translation
  Overview

  My research experience has been interdisciplinary and collaborative contributing to a broad range of fields of study including: social work, palliative care, health care education,interprofessional education,gerontology, high fidelity simulation, education technology, higher education and continuing education.

  ​

  I am a founding member of The Diverse Experiences in Aging Research (DEAR) Collaborative, an interdisciplinary, inter-institutional research group whose goal is to account for and understand diversity in aging.

  Currently I am a the division lead for palliative care and a research affiliate with the Centre for Education and Research on Aging and Health (CERAH) at Lakehead University.

  2017 /18 Co-Investigator: Intersectionality & Aging: Planning a Way Forward to Improve Policies Related to Aging, Dementia and Mental Health. CIHR Planning and Dissemination Grant.

  2017/18 Co-Investigator: Aging with HIV in Canada: towards an understanding of psychosocial determinants to support health equity. CIHR Planning and Dissemination Grant.

  2017/18 Co-Investigator: Palliative Care for First Nations Communities: Supporting Capacity Development. Ministry of Health and LongTerm Care. $1.042,244

  2017-2018 Co-Investigator: Getting by with a little help from their friends: the role of support and care networks in moderating health inequalities among lesbian, gay, and bisexual older Canadians. CIHR Catalyst Grant: Analysis of Canadian Longitudinal Study in Aging (CLSA) Data

  ​

  2016/2017 Principle Investigator Retired Teachers of Ontario:

  “Speaking Up and Speaking out: A toolkit for healthcare professionals caring for older LGBT adults facing the end of their lives

  ​

  2016/2018 Co-Investigator SSHRC Insight Development Grant:

  “Valuing the perspectives of LGBT older adults in Canada: An evidence based approach to developing inclusive research and policy agendas”

  ​
  Dissertation

  Death Education: Simulating the End of Life to Beginning Healthcare Providers. Supervisor: Dr. Lisa Korteweg

  My doctoral dissertation research involved developing and evaluating an interdisciplinary palliative care education intervention using high fidelity simulation for undergraduate students in health professions. My research recognizes that learner participation in the instructional technological platform of simulation prompts questions about the nature of experiential learning and how it is that learning arises out of simulation. The purpose my research was to explore how the pedagogical uses of simulation technologies may enhance and support interprofessional palliative care education.

  Research Fellowship

  Interdisciplinary End-of-Life Care Education Using High Fidelity Simulation in Long Term Care

  The overall contribution of this pilot project is to improve the quality of end-of-life care to frail elderly people living and dying in long term care (LTC) homes through providing LTC staff innovative interdisciplinary palliative care education while promoting interdisciplinary teamwork. LTC clinical staff will be offered a series of education modules uniquely designed to strengthen their capacity to provide holistic and skilled palliative care as an interdisciplinary team with an emphasis on caring communication. Education modules will address key issues in end of life care including advanced care planning, teamwork, holistic clinical assessment and end-of-life communication. The specific objective of this educational research is to implement and evaluate high fidelity simulation (HFS) as an immersive experiential approach to teach end-of-life care to teams of LTC staff in a safe, supportive environment.

  2016 Co- Investigator Law Society of Ontario.

  Project: “Dying alone: perspectives on the final stage of life from LGBT elders living in Ontario”

  2014-2016 Research Fellow: Interdisciplinary End-of-Life Care Education Using High Fidelity Simulation in Long Term Care. Funder: Technology Evaluation in the Elderly Network (TVN)

  2012-2014 Co-Investigator Good medicine: Supporting elderly individuals at home in Northwestern Ontario 2013 Funder: Thunder Bay Community

  2008-2013 Collaborator on 5 year SSHRC funded Community/University Research Alliances (CURA)

  Improving Quality of Life for People Dying in Long Term Care Homes.

  Principle Investigator: Dr. Mary Lou Kelley.

  2008-2009 Research Coordinator for a national project: Social Work Competencies on Palliative Education (SCOPE)

  2006-2007 Member of a Practice Base research team exploring the “Essence of Mentorship

  ​

  I am committed to improving the care provided at the bedside for our most vulnerable and frail. My career aspirations are to be an activist academic researcher and educator focussing on palliative and end-of life care. My intention is to continue to develop a research portfolio that will influence healthcare education and care at the bedside alongside future aspirations to eventually impact organizational and healthcare policy. I'm interested in interdisciplinary collaboration on research projects

  As a social worker and educator I know education is a force for change. It is the medium by which information is communicated and understanding enhanced. Education directly influences attitudes and values and can assist in defining, strengthening or modifying them. It also attempts to recognize the diversity of emotions experienced within the the learning process and support them. An education in social work should produce strong critical thinkers who are productive and engaged citizens ready to work towards improving the world around them.

  As an instructor of some challenging topics not often examined in higher education such as dying, death, grief and bereavement, I recognize that for many of the students in my courses, this may be their first introduction to thinking and learning about these topics in an academic environment. Keeping that in mind, I have three over arching objectives for the learning experiences I create:

  1) to facilitate the development of an appreciation for the subject matter,

  2) to provide the fundamental knowledge and tools pertaining to subject,

  3) to enhance self-awareness and understanding of the world around them and the people who live and die in it.
  Lakehead University
  Social Work/Gerontology
  ​

  Social Work at the End of Life

  Macro Social Work Theory

  Qualitative Research

  Living with Grief and Loss,

  Aging in Canada,

  Interprofessional Education Health and Wellness

  Introduction to Palliative Care

  Psychosocial Palliative Care

  The prof valued fairness among students, which was appreciated. She also appeared enthusiastic about teaching the course.

  The course was very organized and the instructor was very accessible.

  Appropriately and fairly time deadlines. Very thorough outline. Much appreciated!

  I enjoyed learning about our aging population and feel that I’ve acquired a lot of information that I can apply outside of class. I have a lot more respect for our aging population and feel I understand their actions and feelings a lot more.

  This course was very emotionally charged (for me) and I appreciated Kathy’s empathy and support.

  Kathy was a really good professor. The assignments and deadlines were well laid out, and she gives you the tools to succeed. The midterm and final did seem a little challenging, but overall I did well in the course.

  I liked that there was a lot of interaction and sharing among peers in the course.

• ECW Press - https://ecwpress.com/products/talking-about-death

  Dr. Kathy Kortes-Miller is an assistant professor at the School of Social Work and the Palliative Care Division Lead at the Centre for Education and Research on Aging and Health (CERAH) at Lakehead University. She is an unconventional death educator with a passion for palliative care and improving end-of-life care for all. She lives in Thunder Bay, Ontario.

• Lakehead U - https://www.lakeheadu.ca/users/K/kkortesm

  Dr. Katherine Kortes-Miller
  Palliative Care Division Lead - Centre for Education and Research on Aging and Health (CERAH)
  Assistant Professor
  Department:
  Social Work
  Email:
  kkortesm@lakeheadu.ca
  Phone Number:
  +1 (807) 766-7204
  Office Location:
  RC 3007
  Office Hours:
  Mon-Fri 8:30 am - 4:30 pm
  Academic Qualifications:

  MSW, PhD
  Previous Teaching/Work:

  Taught the following courses at Lakehead University

  SOWK 1100 - Introduction to Social Welfare
  GERO 1100 - Aging in Canada
  SOWK/GERO 2010 - Introduction to Palliative Care
  SOWK 2011 - Foundations of Social Work Practice
  SOWK/GERO 3439 - Living with Grief and Loss
  SOWK 4300 - Theory of Social Work Practice
  SOWK 4401 - Theory of Social Work Practice II
  HESC 5035 - Qualitative Inquiry
  SOWK 5214 - Graduate Seminar

  Research Interests:

  Palliative/End-of-Life Care, LGBTQ, Interprofessional Education and Care, Gerontology, LGBTQ+, Death Education, Grief and Loss

  Current Research:

  Valuing the perspectives of LGBT older adults in Canada: An evidence based approach to developing inclusive research and policy agenda (Co-Investigator)
  Speaking Up and Speaking Out: A toolkit for healthcare professionals caring for older LGBT adults facing the end of their lives (Principle Investigator)
  Getting by with a little help from their friends: the role of support and care networks in moderating health inequalities among lesbian, gay, and bisexual older Canadians (Co-Applicant)
  Palliative Care for First Nations Communities: Supporting Capacity Development (Co-Applicant)
  Aging with HIV in Canada: Towards an understanding of psychosocial determinants to support health equity (Co-Investigator)
  Intersectionality & Aging: Planning a Way Forward to Improve Policies Related to Aging, Dementia and Mental Health (Co-Investigator)

  Selected Publications:

  Wilson, K., Kortes-Miller, K. & Stinchcombe, A. (Accepted March 2017). Staying out of the closet: hopes and fears of LGBT older adults as they consider end-of-life. Canadian Journal on Aging.
  Stinchcombe, A., Smallbone, J., Wilson, K., & Kortes-Miller, K. (2017). Healthcare and End-of-Life Needs of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Older Adults: A Scoping Review. Geriatrics, 2(1), 13.
  Wilson, K., Stinchcombe, A., Kortes-Miller, K., & Enright, J. (2016) Support Needs of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Older Adults in the Health and Social Environment. Journal of Counselling and Spirituality. 35(1), 13-29.
  Vis, J. A., Ramsbottom, K., Marcella, J., McAnulty, J., Kelley, M. L., Kortes-Miller, K., & Jones-Bonofiglio, K. (2016). Developing and Implementing Peer-Led Intervention to Support Staff in Long-Term Care Homes Manage Grief. SAGE Open, 6(3), 2158244016665888.
  Kortes-Miller, K., Jones-Bonofiglio, K., Hendrickson, S. & Kelley, ML. (2015).Dying with Carolyn: Using Simulation to Improve Communication Skills of Unregulated Health Care Providers Working in Long Term Care. Journal of Applied Gerontology, DOI: 10.1177/0733464815577139
  Kortes-Miller, K. (2014).A Matter of Life and Death: Situating Death in Education. Canadian Journal of New Scholars in Education, 5(2). www.cjnse-rcjce.ca
  Kortes-Miller,K. (2013). Dying to Know: Thoughts on Death Education. Pathways, 26(1), 17-20.
  Kortes-Miller, K. (2013). Critical caring. Patient Education and Counseling, 93, 153-154.

• CBC - http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/thunder-bay/thunder-bay-talking-about-death-1.4569750

  'Talking About Death Won't Kill You' advises Lakehead University professor in new book
  Kathy Kortes-Miller wrote guide to end-of-life discussions to show 'using the d-word doesn't have to be scary'
  Cathy Alex · CBC News · Posted: Mar 11, 2018 9:00 AM ET | Last Updated: March 11
  'Talking About Death Won't Kill You' is an essential guide to starting end-of-life conversations, says author Kathy Kortes-Miller, an assistant professor of social work at Lakehead University in Thunder Bay, Ont. (Cathy Alex/CBC )

  When Kathy Kortes-Miller, an assistant professor of social work at Lakehead University in Thunder Bay, Ont., set out to write a book that would guide people as they discuss the end-of-life with their loved ones, she knew she needed to be a bit cheeky to "show people that using the d-word doesn't have to be a scary thing".

  Hence the title: Talking About Death Won't Kill You. The Essential Guide to End-of-Life Conversations.

  She said she wants the book, which is published by ECW press, to be a conversation starter for discussions "we should be having throughout our life, and they don't have to be the elephant in the room."
  'Life is a terminal illness, which is sexually transmitted'

  Humour plays an important role in the book, with Kortes-Miller, who is also the palliative care division lead at the Centre for Education and Research on Aging and Health at the university, quoting British comedian John Cleese, "who has been known to say, 'life is a terminal illness, which is sexually transmitted'."

  However, she does not make light of how painful or challenging it can be to have these conversations.

  "I wanted to be able to show that I could walk the walk," she said of her decision to share examples from her own life, such as stories of people she worked with in palliative care or the death of close friends.

  But Kortes-Miller acknowledged it is one thing to talk about death in an academic or clinic setting, "but it's another thing to think about it as someone who is going to die."
  'Really tricky' to tell own children about cancer diagnosis

  She relates how, several years ago, she and her husband had to tell their two young children that she had been diagnosed with colon cancer, and that the future was uncertain.

  "As a parent, one of the things you want to do is protect your child, and make them feel safe and let them have the understanding that of course your parents know what's going to happen next, and they're going to prepare you for that, and that was a really tricky one," said Kortes-Miller, who is now healthy.

  Instead of pretending everything was going to be okay, they promised their children "we would always keep them in the loop, we would always be honest, and we would always answer their questions to the best that we could."
  'The cost we pay for loving someone'

  ​The book is divided into a variety of chapters to help almost anyone facing their own death, or the impending death of a colleague, friend, or loved one of any age. It also offers advice on building compassionate workplaces and talking to health care practitioners, and it discusses what is involved in medical assistance in dying (MAID).

  "Death is not a medical event. It is a social process," full of meaning and worth, writes Kortes-Miller

  "Yes, it's difficult. Yes, it's sad. But that's part of the cost we pay for loving someone, for having the privilege of getting to know them, and caring for them, and growing old with them, whatever that might look like," she said.

• Transatlantic Agency - http://transatlanticagency.com/clients/authors/kathy-kortes-miller/

  Kathy Kortes-Miller thinks about dying and death a lot! She is an unconventional death educator with a passion for palliative care and improving the end of life care for all. Kathy has been teaching and researching at Lakehead University for over a decade inspiring and challenging the future healthcare providers of tomorrow to be prepared to care for individuals who are dying and their families in all healthcare settings. She leverages her experiences as a cancer survivor and as a palliative care provider to challenge us to have the important conversations about dying, death and life. Kathy strives to make an impact with her teaching, research, writing and speaking to discover, share and communicate the information that we are all “dying to know.” She is presently writing her first book Dying Matters intended to transform the perception of dying and death from being the elephant in the room to an integral part of life that deserves and demands acknowledgement, respect, and even a bit of lightheartedness (when called for).

• Globe and Mail - https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/what-is-the-best-way-to-explain-death-to-a-child/article38270428/

  What is the best way to explain death to a child?
  Open this photo in gallery: Getty Images/iStockphoto
  Getty Images/iStockphoto

  We all need a better ‘death education,’ says Dr. Kathy Kortes-Miller.

  Antonio Guillem/Getty Images/iStockphoto
  Dave McGinn
  Published March 11, 2018
  Updated March 11, 2018

  The popularity of bestselling memoirs such as When Breath Becomes Air and The Bright Hour, both meditations on death by authors who died young, suggest that death is a topic many of us like to think about (while alone, reading silently) – yet, it is still a subject many of us are woefully bad at talking about, particularly when it comes to discussing it with kids.

  We all need a better "death education," says Dr. Kathy Kortes-Miller, an associate professor of social work at Ontario's Lakehead University and author of the new book Talking About Death Won't Kill You: The Essential Guide to End-of-Life Conversations. Like a new website launched last November by the Canadian Virtual Hospice, the book takes what remains a taboo subject and shows how to talk about it openly and honestly. The Globe and Mail's Dave McGinn spoke to Kortes-Miller about having that conversation with children.

  Why do we have such difficulty talking to children about death?

  As parents we are cultured and conditioned to protect our children. Our generation, we didn't really learn how to talk about it. Before I was a parent, I was really good at talking to children about dying and death. And then I became a parent myself and found that it was a lot harder than I thought it was.

  What's the risk of ignoring the subject, or not bringing it up unless they do?

  It keeps it as an unknown and as a scary and almost a taboo topic. We [need to] recognize that this is a transition event in our life and one that we can prepare for and one that we can learn about, and by doing so, that's going to help us to live life more fully and prepare ourselves for the end of life.

  What is the best way to explain death to a child?

  It depends on the age of the child, of course. But one of the ways to do it is by looking around at nature. Kids are inquisitive. They're interested in how things die and what happens to them. So often they'll see things in nature and ask questions. Those are really good ways to get the conversation started. As they get a little bit older they start to watch TV and they start to read books. There is a lot of dying and death in media that children are exposed to, and those are also really good conversation starters.

  You mention that nature often presents an opportunity to talk about death. I've been guilty of telling my kids a dead squirrel they saw was just sleeping.

  That's an easy one to do. We're almost scared to use the D words – dead, dying and death. But we confuse them if we use euphemisms. Having worked with young kids in a counselling role as a social worker in a hospice unit, when we talk about "oh, grandpa's just gone for the big sleep," instead of he's died, kids get nightmares. Kids don't want to go to bed at night because grandpa went to sleep and he didn't wake up.

  When a child wonders what death is, is there a good description of the physical process that won't scare kids?

  I would sometimes talk about it from a physiological perspective. The reality is that sometimes we get really, really sick or we get old and our body no longer functions the way we need it to, and as a result, some of the things such as our heart or our brain stop working, and as a result, our body dies. It stops working. And that's kind of the way I would begin that conversation. I would leave it then on the young person to ask some questions, to see what they want to know more about.

  You say in the book that bedtime can be a good time for these conversations. Why?

  Bedtime can be great depending on the age of your child. Often, there are rituals and time spent at bed reading books and tucking in and doing all that stuff, which is a great time to have conversations. As children get older and we move in to more of what I call the chauffeuring ages, car-time conversations are really good too, particularly because the kids don't have to make eye contact.

  Is there a euphemism for death that you loathe most?

  One that's probably most common is the idea that people "pass away." I talk about this story of Sam in the book when he got really confused because he was in school and in school they talk about passing to the next grade, and the only person he knew who had passed was his mom. So that one I think particularly for children is a big one.

  Kids usually seem capable of processing much more than we give them credit for.

  Yes. For sure.

  This interview has been condensed and edited.

  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  Helping a child or teenager who is grieving the death of a parent or loved one is always difficult. What do you tell them? How do you help them understand matters? The Canadian Virtual Hospice recently launched a website, KidsGrief.ca, to help answer those questions. It is especially important to talk to young kids about the four C's, says Andrea Warnick, a Toronto-based registered psychotherapist and co-lead on the project.

  "The four C's are four common concerns that kids have when either somebody's seriously ill, dying or has died in their life. We're really trying to encourage families to address these even if kids aren't bringing them up," she says.

  Cause: Am I some way responsible? “A lot of parents are really surprised when they find out that their child has been thinking that they did something to cause the illness or death in their family,” Warnick says. She has worked with children who thought their mom got throat cancer from yelling at them to clean their rooms. “We really want families to let their kids know that this is not their fault, they did not cause this in any way,” she says.
  Catch: “A lot of families will avoid the word of the actual illness. So as opposed to saying, ‘Daddy has cancer,’ or ‘Dad has ALS,’ they’ll say, ‘Daddy’s sick.’ And for kids whose reference for sickness is that it gets spread across the daycare, or one person gets the flu and then the next person does, that scares them and they often think it’s going to happen to them to or they can catch it,” Warnick says. You can still hug your dad, still kiss him. You can still cuddle.
  Cure: You have to let your kids know they can’t cure it. “This is not in their control,” Warnick says. “A lot of kids will use the power of their imaginations to come up with pacts, promising a higher power that they will never fight with their mom again if they cure them, and then of course they fight. I’ve had a number of kids feeling very responsible that they did something that could have happened otherwise.”
  Care: This is one of kids’ biggest fears. “If there’s a parent or a primary caregiver who is ill or dying, who is going to take care of me?” Warnick says. Or if the person has already died, is this going to happen to my other parent or whoever it is who is now taking care of them? “A lot of kids are really worried about that. And that’s where we really walk families through how to talk about that. Some families are tempted to say no, it won’t happen to me. And we can’t promise a child that. So we really encourage families to say: Most likely I’m going to live to be very old, but if anything does happen to me, this is who is going to take care of you. Hopefully, guardians are picked out. Let them know what the plan is.”

• News 1130 - http://www.news1130.com/2018/03/08/book-talking-about-death-wont-kill-you-aims-to-prompt-frank-conversations/

  Book 'Talking About Death Won't Kill You' aims to prompt frank conversations

  Entertainment

  by Sheryl Ubelacker, The Canadian Press

  Posted Mar 8, 2018 2:53 pm PDT

  Last Updated Mar 8, 2018 at 3:20 pm PDT
  It's one of the last taboo topics: dying and death, the "elephant in the room" that nobody wants to discuss. But in her new book "Talking About Death Won't Kill You" (ECW Press) released this week, Kathy Kortes-Miller says it's essential that families have conversations about end-of-life issues -- and it's never too early to start. Kortes-Miller is seen in an undated handout photo. THE CANADIAN PRESS/HO-ECW Press, *MANDATORY CREDIT*
  [Close caption]

  TORONTO – It’s one of the last taboo topics: dying and death, the “elephant in the room” that nobody wants to discuss.

  But in her new book “Talking About Death Won’t Kill You” (ECW Press) released this week, Kathy Kortes-Miller says it’s essential that families have conversations about end-of-life issues — and it’s never too early to start.

  “It’s going to happen to 100 per cent of us and it’s very much a life experience,” said Kortes-Miller, palliative care division lead at the Centre for Education and Research on Aging and Health at Lakehead University. “It’s part of what happens to us as a result of living.

  “And also because when we die, our death will impact a minimum of five other people,” she said from Thunder Bay, Ont. “And it will impact them in ways of learning about life, how they grieve, how they’re able to function and then also how they deal with it the next time they encounter dying and death.”

  Kortes-Miller, who spent decades working in palliative care, said she wanted to bring “death out of the closet” after experiencing her own brush with mortality when the mother of two was diagnosed with colon cancer.

  The book is in part an answer to the concerns that arose during treatment as she faced her own thoughts about potentially dying and the role of health-care providers in helping patients and their loved ones navigate a final journey.

  “I really thought we were doing a good job until I recognized my own experiences as a patient and saw that we really weren’t,” the death educator said of medical professionals.

  “I was a person who knew how to talk about these things and I had a tough time getting my health-care providers to talk about it.”

  But it’s not only medical practitioners who need to learn how to discuss end-of-life issues with patients and their loved ones, said Kortes-Miller.

  Discussions about death — including fears, regrets and one’s personal wishes when dying — should be part of every family’s conversational tableau, she suggested.

  “It’s not something you need to dive deep into and do in one massive, huge conversation, but rather different pieces of it as you think about what’s important to you, whether your health-care providers need to know about you so they can provide the best care possible, and what you think is going to matter to you at the end of life.

  “I think it’s best to have conversations throughout the course of our lives.”

  That includes allowing children to ask questions and express their feelings about death, whether that’s over seeing a dead animal on the road, the loss of a pet or the death of a grandparent, she said.

  When a child expresses curiosity about what it means to die, for instance, it can be an opportunity for adults to open a conversation and make it a teachable moment.

  “Kids are not born fearful of death … They’re actually really curious about dying and death. And so if we support their curiosity by talking about it, by normalizing it and having conversations with them, they’ll begin to develop that education for themselves.”

  One of Kortes-Miller’s pet peeves is when people use euphemisms for death, such as a person having “passed away” or “gone to a better place.”

  “We’ve really moved away from using the ‘D’ words — dying, death and dead,” she said.

  “And I think that has done us a disservice, especially in Western culture, because we have couched our language trying to make it gentler or cleaner or more sanitized for people. And it has turned out that it is confusing our children.”

  Many people fear the idea of dying — and that includes talking about it, she said, noting that because Canadians are living longer, many people are middle-aged when they first experience the death of a loved one.

  “And we’ve isolated ourselves from it because we don’t see it. We’ve turned over the care of our loved ones who are dying to the health-care profession … so we find ourselves at a loss of knowing what to do.”

  Talking as a family about death can lay the groundwork for an advance care directive, which spells out a person’s wishes during the process of dying, such as the desired level of pain management.

  The legalization of medically assisted death has also given people the option, under certain conditions, to seek to hasten end of life — and controversy over the law has caused Canadians to pay more attention to the issue of dying and death, said Kortes-Miller.

  “This has been a really good catalyst for us having more conversations.”

  Part of those conversations might revolve around how to say goodbye to a loved one who’s dying and whether they will have a “good” death, a popular buzzword in the world of palliative care.

  “For me, it elicits the idea of family members holding hands around the bedside of a person who is dying and singing ‘Kumbaya,'” she said, almost as if there is a checklist of what it means to have a good death.

  But that idea may not match the way the person lived and it can put pressure on families to have a “Kumbaya” moment despite it being inappropriate for their loved one and themselves, she said.

  “We sometimes tend to Hollywoodize a death vigil scene or put high standards of what families need to make happen for their loved one in order for it to be a good death,” said Kortes-Miller.

  “And that can sometimes make the grieving process really difficult for people.”

  — Follow @SherylUbelacker on Twitter

Talking About Death Won't Kill You: The Essential Guide to End-of-Life Conversations
Publishers Weekly. 265.8 (Feb. 19, 2018): p68.
Copyright: COPYRIGHT 2018 PWxyz, LLC
http://www.publishersweekly.com/
Full Text:
Talking About Death Won't Kill You: The Essential Guide to End-of-Life Conversations

Kathy Kortes-Miller. ECW (Legato, U.S. dist.; Jaguar, Canadian dist.), $16.95 trade paper (216p) ISBN 978-1-77041-406-8

Kortes-Miller, a professor of social work at Lakehead University in Ontario, makes a strong case for why people need to talk about how they want to die and under what conditions they want to be kept alive. "Our fear and societal avoidance of dying ... have caused us to relinquish control and ownership of our dying. We lack the language and courage to have these important conversations with those we love," she writes. This useful handbook offers a road map. Her suggestions include involving children in discussions about the death of a loved one and advice on ways to create a compassionate workplace when a colleague or employee is dying or has died, such as encouraging the person who is ill to set guidelines about what personal information they feel comfortable sharing. A pragmatic chapter discusses how to address end-of-life options with health care providers. The book also offers insight on such difficult questions as when and how to talk with someone who is dying and when and how to share information about death, particularly on social media. This challenging book asks readers to face their fears of dying, and it will help those who do be more prepared for their own deaths and to ease the grief of loved ones. Agent: Jesse Vinkelstein, Transatlantic Agency. (Mar.)

Source Citation (MLA 8th Edition)
"Talking About Death Won't Kill You: The Essential Guide to End-of-Life Conversations." Publishers Weekly, 19 Feb. 2018, p. 68. General OneFile, http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/A529357566/ITOF?u=schlager&sid=ITOF&xid=eccf909c. Accessed 31 May 2018.

Gale Document Number: GALE|A529357566