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WORK TITLE: Loveable
WORK NOTES:
PSEUDONYM(S):
BIRTHDATE:
WEBSITE: https://drkellyflanagan.com/
CITY: Naperville
STATE: IL
COUNTRY:
NATIONALITY:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/drkellyflanagan-275
RESEARCHER NOTES:
LC control no.: no2017033303
LCCN Permalink: https://lccn.loc.gov/no2017033303
HEADING: Flanagan, Kelly Ph.D.
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670 __ |a Loveable, ©2017: |b title page (Kelly Flanagan) page 4 of cover (Kelly Flanagan is a licensed clinical psychologist and cofounder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, Illinois. In 2012, he discovered writing was the thing he never knew he always wanted to do, so he began the now popular blog, UnTangled. Kelly is married to another clinical psychologist named Kelly…)
670 __ |a UnTangled website viewed 15 March, 2017 |b (I’m a licensed clinical psychologist. I received my Ph.D. in clinical psychology at Penn State University in 2005. In March 2017, my first full-length book will be published by Zondervan, an imprint of HarperCollins. It is entitled, Loveable : embracing what is truest about you, so you can truly embrace your life.) |u http://drkellyflanagan.com/about
PERSONAL
Married; wife’s name Kelly (a clinical psychologist); children: three.
EDUCATION:Pennsylvania State University, Ph.D., 2005.
ADDRESS
CAREER
Clinical psychologist. Artisan Clinical Associates, Naperville, IL, cofounder.
WRITINGS
Author of the UnTangled Blog. Author of the e-book, The Marriage Manifesto: Turning Your World Upside Down.
SIDELIGHTS
Clinical psychologist Kelly Flanagan earned his doctorate from Pennsylvania State University in 2005, and he later went on to cofound Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, Illinois. Flanagan is also the author of the UnTangled Blog, which started when Flanagan started recording advice for his children. On the blog, Flanagan instructs his children to avoid self-criticism and negative thinking. Flanagan’s insights became so popular that he eventually authored the 2017 book Loveable: Embracing What is Truest about You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life. In the book, Flanagan focuses on the significant challenges of self-esteem, and he notes that many of his patients don’t feel good about themselves. Flanagan shares his own struggles to achieve inner peace, and he comments on relationships and self-doubt along the way. While focusing on achieving self-affirmation and avoiding self-criticism, Flanagan connects these struggles to general spiritual concerns. Written with a vaguely Christian bent, Flanagan comments on the connections between emotional health and spiritual health.
Reviews of Loveable were mostly positive, and online Parvati magazine correspondent Amy Kellestine stated that “Flanagan is clearly a gifted storyteller and guide. Loveable has the perfect blend of heartwarming anecdotes about his children, tender exchanges with his wife, raw honesty about his own journey, and thoughtful quotes and biblical stories. I found myself endlessly relating to his struggles as a parent and partner.” According to a Publishers Weekly critic, “Christian readers especially will find solace, a gentle nudge to change as needed.” Yet, in the words of Medium Website correspondent Zachary Houle, “despite the lack of overall religious leanings, there’s something universal at work here and while the audience might be tricky—the religious finding it not religious enough, and atheists finding it too religious for bothering to talk about God, period—it should be read by as many people as possible. I grappled with this book, I really wrestled with it. I think the overall point of the book is something I’m going to have to talk through with close friends and really think about in the days ahead.” Houle then went on to assert: “This isn’t a pat book, it doesn’t offer much in the way of answers. It just gets the discussion going. I feel worthy for having taken part in that discussion and wondering if I love myself enough or have been following through on my passions enough.”
BIOCRIT
PERIODICALS
Publishers Weekly, January 9, 2017, review of Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest About You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life.
ONLINE
Kelly Flanagan Website, https://drkellyflanagan.com (October 16, 2017), author profile.
Medium, https://medium.com/ (November 13, 2016), Zachary Houle, review of Loveable.
Parvati magazine, http://parvatimagazine.com/ (October 16, 2017), Amy Kellestine, review of Loveable.*
ABOUT
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Welcome!
I’m so glad you found us here at UnTangled. This has become one of the warmest and most welcoming communities I’ve ever known. If you’re looking for a place where you can be totally yourself—which is to say, fully human, both messy and beautiful—look no further. Before you jump in, though, here’s a little more information about me and what’s happening here at the blog…
About Me
I’m a licensed clinical psychologist. I received my Ph.D. in clinical psychology at Penn State University in 2005. I am a co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL, along with my good friend and colleague David Clinton. I currently see clients on Mondays and Tuesdays in Naperville.
The rest of the week I write.
My blog posts have been featured in Reader’s Digest and the Huffington Post, as well as on the Disney parenting website, Babble.com. In 2014, my writing led to an appearance on the TODAY Show. That was totally surreal, and a total blast for our whole family.
I’ve written a short eBook entitled, The Marriage Manifesto: Turning Your World Upside Down. It has received 4.5 stars on Amazon, where you can purchase it. But you can also get a free copy by signing up to receive my weekly blog posts via email. If you’re interested, you can click here to do so.
In March 2017, my first full-length book was published by Zondervan, an imprint of HarperCollins. It is entitled, Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest About You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life. It debuted at #1 in Interpersonal Relations on Amazon and has more than 230 reviews, averaging 4.9 stars.
About the Blog
What is UnTangled all about? In short, UnTangled is a place to explore the redemptive life. There are so many places in the world where we are told to seek the good life. But this search so often ends up in perfectionism and disappointment. Here, we’re exploring the redemptive life—a life in which the pain, brokenness, and mess of being human are not brushed under the rug but rather invited into the light. For more thoughts about the good life versus the redemptive life, you can read my post, “What’s the Difference Between the Good Life and the Redemptive Life?“
I chose “UnTangled” as the blog title for two reasons. First, I’m a therapist, and I believe the therapeutic endeavor often feels like a process of disentanglement, including disentanglement from the influences of our personal history, the cultural messages we have unwittingly consumed, and the vicissitudes of being human. Second, I hope the blog will provide a similar kind of experience, somehow unraveling confusion and providing direction in the stories we are telling with our lives.
For the first five or so years of the blog, I posted weekly. Now, I typically post to the blog one time every other week, on Wednesdays around 5am. I like how the regular rhythm mimics the rhythm of psychotherapy. I will occasionally post weekly.
How to Connect
If you would like to explore ways to live a redemptive story right now, you can subscribe to the blog by clicking here. You can also follow UnTangled on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Google+.
A Sampling of Popular Posts
Words From a Father to His Daughter (From the Makeup Aisle)
A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)
Marriage Is For Losers
The Reason Every Kid Should Talk Back to Their Parents
A Dad’s Letter to His Son (About the Only Good Reason to Get Married)
The 9 Most Overlooked Threats to a Marriage
Why I Don’t Believe in Grace Anymore
Karma Envelopes
The Beauty of Being a Quitter
A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl (About How Fast She’s Walking Away)
You can also check my blog’s archive page for a list of every post I have ever written, organized by category and date.
A Little More About Me
At Artisan Clinical Associates, I work with a wide range of individuals in various treatment contexts including individual therapy with adults and adolescents, marital/couple therapy, family therapy, and the evaluation of individuals who have immigrated to the U.S. and are seeking legal permanent residency. My areas of particular clinical interest include interpersonal and relationship problems; resolution of marital conflict and communication skill training; treatment of substance abuse and relapse prevention; experiences of depression, anxiety, and trauma/abuse; and issues of self-esteem, self-confidence, and development of personal identity. In addition, I think it’s important to openly work with issues of faith and spirituality when they naturally emerge during the process of change and growth.
I completed my clinical psychology residency at Hines VA Medical Center in Maywood, IL. My research has focused on the role of spouses’ core interpersonal needs in the resolution of marital conflict. I’ve also taught at Wheaton College as an adjunct assistant professor.
I am married with three children, and I enjoy reading and learning from my children how to be a kid again. I began writing publicly in January 2012, via this blog. But I have always enjoyed writing privately. It helps me to “untangle” my own thoughts, and I’m thankful for the opportunity the blog has afforded me to achieve even more clarity about my vocation and this life we are living, through conversation with readers and blog followers.
My Contact Information
You can contact me via e-mail or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.
Website Photographs
The header photo is the work of David Clinton, M.A., LCPC. He’s an excellent photographer, and an even better therapist. Credit for the author photo goes to Bureau Gravity.
Disclaimer
This is my personal blog. While I write about both personal and professional experiences, my writings should be considered a matter of personal opinion. They do not reflect professional advice. This medium does not lend itself to the level of detail and intimacy required to provide professional advice. If you are in need of consultation, I highly recommend you seek professional counseling. If at all possible, you should seek a reliable referral from a trusted source. The Psychology Today therapist search engine is an excellent tool for doing so.
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Dr. Kelly Flanagan
Kelly is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. He is also a writer and blogs regularly about the redemption of our personal, relational, and communal lives. Kelly is married, has three children, and enjoys learning from them how to be a kid again. You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.
WHO IS KELLY?
Kelly graduated with his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Penn State University and is co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. Several years ago, he discovered writing was the thing he never knew he always wanted to do, so he began the now popular blog, UnTangled, where he writes weekly about how to live redemptive stories right now. Kelly is married to another clinical psychologist named Kelly, because they decided to make life even more complicated than it already is. They Kellies—as they are called by friends and family—have three children, and they have a deal with their kids: they teach the kids how to grow up, and the kids teach them how to grow young again. So far, it’s not clear who is helping who the most. They live in northern Illinois.
Kelly Flanagan
Clinical psychologist, father, author, blogger, and collector of all things redemptive.
Kelly graduated with his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Penn State University and is co-founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. Several years ago, he began the now popular blog, UnTangled, where he writes weekly about how to live redemptive stories right now. Kelly is married to another clinical psychologist named Kelly, because they decided to make life even more complicated than it already is. They have three children, and they have a deal with their kids: they teach the kids how to grow up, and the kids teach them how to grow young again. So far, it's not clear who is helping who the most. Kelly's writing has been featured in Reader's Digest, he has appeared on the TODAY Show with his daughter, and he is the author of LOVEABLE: Embracing What Is Truest About You So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life.
9/27/2017 General OneFile - Saved Articles
http://go.galegroup.com/ps/marklist.do?actionCmd=GET_MARK_LIST&userGroupName=schlager&inPS=true&prodId=ITOF&ts=1506548618680 1/1
Print Marked Items
Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest About You,
So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life
Publishers Weekly.
264.2 (Jan. 9, 2017): p61.
COPYRIGHT 2017 PWxyz, LLC
http://www.publishersweekly.com/
Full Text:
Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest About You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life
Kelly Flanagan. Zondervan, $16.99 trade
paper (240p) ISBN 978-0-310-34516-9
Flanagan, clinical psychologist and founder of the UnTangled blog, wants readers to think about the elusiveness of
feeling good about oneself. The book's origins come from his experience writing personal letters to his children about
faring well in life by turning off the crit ical, negative sound bites that can poison a restless mind--these thoughtful
essays got him an invite on The Today Show, which took his blog readership to new heights. Flanagan offers readers
many small observations about life, relationships, and the inner workings of the heart and mind in easily digestible
fashion. Men and women alike will benefit from his humble transparency as he untangles his own struggles with
acceptance of himself. Although the book will be helpful to any reader looking for affirmation and relief from selfcriticism,
Christian readers especially will find solace, a gentle nudge to change as needed, and tender reminders that
all people struggle in similar ways. (Mar.)
Source Citation (MLA 8th
Edition)
"Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest About You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life." Publishers Weekly, 9 Jan.
2017, p. 61. General OneFile, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?
p=ITOF&sw=w&u=schlager&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA477339356&it=r&asid=afb3c43b71ad1a37654091c570ee058e.
Accessed 27 Sept. 2017.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A477339356
Zachary HouleFollow
Book critic, Fiction author, Poet, Writer, Editor. Follow me on Twitter @zachary_houle.
Nov 13, 2016
A Review of Kelly Flanagan’s “Loveable”
I Heart This Book
“Loveable” Book Cover
I got more than I bargained for with this delightful and powerful book. And the strangest thing about it is that it isn’t overly religious, despite the fact that it comes from (what I think is) an evangelical publisher, Zondervan. You won’t find a reference to God until you’re five percent into the book on your Kindle, and actual stories from the Bible are minimal at best. In fact, the author — Kelly Flanagan — talks about late in the book the fact that it got passed on by religious publishers for not being spiritual enough, but also passed over by some others for being “too spiritual”. There’s no middle ground with this book, but, despite that, there is a universality to the book no matter what you believe. The message is so universal that one section of the book, originally published as a blog post, went viral and got the author and his daughter on the Today show as a result. Just one step taken towards getting this book written and in front of an audience, whether it be sacred or secular or both.
Loveable is a powerful book because I went through such a wide range of emotions as I read it. Before I get to that, I suppose it’s best to summarize what the book is about. The book is in three acts, each taking the form of a fictional novel’s character arc. The first act is about stifling the shame in you and allowing your inner child to come out and play through some kind of “inciting incident” that changes how you look at yourself. The second act is about finding members of your tribe who might allow you to play authentically — overcoming rejection and all as you go through that “stage”. And the third act is about finding your passion in life and going out and doing it. It may not be the thing that makes you any money, but it is the thing that brings purpose to your live and finds the little one doing what he or she loves best. In fact, the whole book takes its premise from a Mark Twain quote that, roughly paraphrased, states that the most important day of your life is when you were born, but the second most important day is when you find out who you really wanted to be.
Loveable is loveable, and there’s a message that is quite powerful at its core — that we’re all loved, but it is important to love yourself so you can live a life of passion, not shame. And that’s where the range of emotions came forth. Shame talked to me in the first act of the book, and I’ve come to realize since closing the covers that I got a lot of manipulation growing up and not, maybe, a lot of love — so I tend to not think too highly of myself, overall, and wrestle with things such as weight loss and so on. (I’ll be general here as I don’t want to speak too publicly about the state of my personal life, though I can say, I suppose, that I’m living a season right now of great difficulty. I wonder now how much of that is rooted in the past?)
And then the second act of the book was actually painful to read, as I realized that — even though Flanagan doesn’t paint himself as perfect — he has a loving family and friends and clients as a psychotherapist to lean on and learn from. I tend to be a loner. I had to wonder as I read if I was doing anything wrong. And maybe shame came into the third act, too. I found myself flipping through the pages here, wondering how it would all end, and, as Flanagan talked about pursuing your passion simply for the sake of it and not for any other purpose, that little voice inside me started speaking up and saying that I wasn’t good enough or that the fiction I’ve written and tried to sell as a short story collection was and is simply too weird to sell or find a publisher.
Whew!
So to say that I’m emotionally wrung out from reading this book is an understatement. I liked the book, and quite immensely, but didn’t find it to be an easy or comforting read — even though Flanagan pours love out onto every single page. I sort of wish he was my dad, because from the tone of this book and some of the learnings he shares about his kids makes him sound like an awesome parent. He acknowledges his flaws, but actually does something with them — learns from them, shares his findings with others, and then proceeds from a place of love. Trust me, if you read this book, you’ll probably want to strike up some sort of conversation or relationship with the author— stalker alert, I suppose. That is to say, though, that Flanagan is a likeable and commendable navigator of this thing called love and loving life to the fullest, no matter what season you’re in. You’ll want to get to know him more, which might be the closer for becoming a regular reader of his blog. (And any evangelical who quotes Richard Rohr as an influence is good in my book!)
In the end, I cannot recommend Loveable enough. I think it might get knocked by a few reviewers eventually for not having religion at the front and centre of the book, and I have to admit that this was something that took even me, newbie Christian, a little getting used to. I think that’s because I look to God as a source of comfort and theology books as a source of prayer or communion, so it felt like there wasn’t much talking with God to be had here. But I still loved this book anyway, and heartily recommend it to anyone struggling with their passion and purpose in life, if not having trouble acknowledging themselves to be the perfect person they already are deep down underneath all of those crusty layers. (Not that we don’t “sin” from time to time, but the point is we are all loveable human beings deep, deep down — with perhaps a few exceptions in world history.)
Still, despite the lack of overall religious leanings, there’s something universal at work here and while the audience might be tricky — the religious finding it not religious enough, and atheists finding it too religious for bothering to talk about God, period — it should be read by as many people as possible. I grappled with this book, I really wrestled with it. I think the overall point of the book is something I’m going to have to talk through with close friends and really think about in the days ahead. This isn’t a pat book, it doesn’t offer much in the way of answers. It just gets the discussion going. I feel worthy for having taken part in that discussion and wondering if I love myself enough or have been following through on my passions enough. I don’t know sometimes what I’m doing in my life, but then a book such as Loveable comes along and it just finds a way of trying to reframe the question to a question about shaming the shame that rules things in my daily business. But that’s me talking. I’m sure that if you read this gut-wrenching, affirmative book, you will find yourselves asking your own questions and finding your own way to reach a possibly neglected inner child. Such a worthy read. I wish it didn’t end.
Kelly Flanagans’s Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest About You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life will be published by Zondervan on March 21, 2017.
Of course, if you like what you see, please recommend this piece (click on the green heart icon below) and share it with your followers.
Zachary Houle is a resident of Ottawa, Canada, and was the recipient of a $4,000 arts grant from the City of Ottawa for emerging artists. He has been a Pushcart Prize nominee, too. He also is a music critic, with music writing publishing credits in SPIN magazine and the Ottawa Citizen, among others. He is a member of First United Church in Ottawa, Canada, and has been so for the past two years. Houle is interested in anything having to do with deepening his newfound faith in God, so, if you’re an author, feel free to get in touch. Contact: zacharyhoule@rogers.com.
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HomeArts/CultureBooks: Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s “Loveable”, as reviewed by Amy Kellestine
Books: Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s “Loveable”, as reviewed by Amy Kellestine
Reading the insightful book Loveable felt like a long drive through the picturesque countryside in a convertible on a sunny Sunday afternoon – easy, liberating, and just where you want to be. It is the first full-length offering from Dr. Kelly Flanagan, the clinical psychologist and father behind the blog UnTangled and viral posts, “A Daddy’s Letter to his Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)” and “The Reason Every Kid Should Talk Back To their Parents”.
Structured in three parts, it’s aligned with the three acts Flanagan says are part of all of our lives. The first act is overcoming shame and realizing that you are enough, just as you are. He explains how you can use anger as a clue to unravel the ball of shame woven around your soul: “Anger is the first breadcrumb on the path back to ourselves.”
The second act is all about belonging – reconciling our true self and false self, and our relationships in the process. In his words, “We are, each one of us, unique and lovely beings. Life isn’t about comparison; it’s about connection.”
Finally, in the third act, we gain the courage to spend our time in a way that is meaningful for us, and we have the capacity to honour our calling and our purpose. Flanagan says, “Where our most vibrant passion meets our most visceral pain, we discover a sense of purpose.”
Flanagan is clearly a gifted storyteller and guide. Loveable has the the perfect blend of heartwarming anecdotes about his children, tender exchanges with his wife, raw honesty about his own journey, and thoughtful quotes and biblical stories. I found myself endlessly relating to his struggles as a parent and partner. I deeply appreciated the transparent honesty about his journey to reconcile his worth and productivity at work and the tentative first steps he took to give voice to his purpose through his blog.
Most of all I loved the metaphors he used throughout the book. They connected me to known concepts in new and unfamiliar ways that deepened my understanding.
Some of the best examples of this are in Act 2, which addresses the construct of the ego. For example, he draws a parallel between our relationship with our ego and the safety bar on a midway ride. We can cling to the safety bar at all costs and miss part of the experience of the ride. Or we can trust, let go, throw our hands up in the air, scream at the top of our lungs, and get the most out of our ride here on earth. Additionally, he used the metaphor of a castle (with walls, cannons, and thrones) to describe the construct of the ego itself.
Throughout the book, Flanagan reminds himself, his family, and all his readers, “No matter what, you are beautiful and beloved.”
Amy Kellestine headshotAmy Kellestine is an educator, engineer, Arati life coach and entrepreneur living in Edmonton, Alberta. She spends her free time camping, gardening, and volunteering for causes such as Cystic Fibrosis and nature conservation. She is a devoted mother and is passionate about helping others and writing.
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