Project and content management for Contemporary Authors volumes
WORK TITLE: Red Spawn Delivery
WORK NOTES:
PSEUDONYM(S):
BIRTHDATE:
WEBSITE: http://anneejohnson.com/
CITY: Brooklyn
STATE: NY
COUNTRY:
NATIONALITY:
RESEARCHER NOTES:
PERSONAL
Female.
EDUCATION:M.A.
ADDRESS
CAREER
Writer. Columnist, Eat Sleep Write. “Rate Your Story,” social media manager and volunteer story judge. Worked formerly as a teacher of music history at The New School for Music, New York, NY.
WRITINGS
Contributor to numerous periodicals, including Urban Fantasy Magazine, PerihelionSF, Liquid Imagination, FrostFire Worlds, Shelter of Daylight, and The Future Fire. Contributes weekly column, “Kid Lit Insider,” to Eat Sleep Write.
SIDELIGHTS
Anne E. Johnson is a New York-based writer. She writes fiction and nonfiction books and short stories. Johnson contributes a weekly column to the website Eat Sleep Write, called “Kid Lit Insider.” She is a volunteer story judge and the social media manager for website, “Rate Your Story.”
Johnson has a masters degree in music theory and history. Before becoming a full-time writer, she taught music history at The New School for Music, in New York City. Johnson’s stories have been published in Urban Fantasy Magazine, PerihelionSF, Liquid Imagination, FrostFire Worlds, Shelter of Daylight, and The Future Fire. Johnson lives in Brooklyn, New York.
Trouble at the Scriptorium
Johnson’s young adult novel, Trouble at the Scriptorium, is set in medieval England. Harley, the twelve-year-old son of a chambermaid and a traveling jester, lives in castle. Harley does not live a glamorous life. As a jester’s son, his role and class have been determined since birth. Harley has spent his childhood in the castle, growing up beside young Lady Margaret. The two were playmates as children, but as they approach puberty, any sort of relationship between them becomes unacceptable. This is complicated by Harley’s slowly developing attraction toward Lady Margaret. She is the same age as Harley, but lives in a higher class and rank.
The dynamic between the two changes when an illustrated chantbook shows up at Lady Margaret’s mother’s scriptorium. There appears to be a hidden code in the chantbook, hinting that the new head of the scriptorium has malicious intentions. When Harley attempts to decode the message in the chantbook, he is attacked. He takes it upon himself to figure out the mystery behind the chantbook, and Lady Margaret joins him in his detective work. A contributor to MBR Bookwatch wrote, Johnson’s “intent is to bring history alive, and she accomplishes her mission with flying colors.”
Green Light Delivery
In Green Light Delivery, the reader is introduced to Ganpril Webrid, an alien creature living on a foreign planet. Webrid is a street vendor, and when business is slow one day, he begins to pack up his cart early. As he is doing this, a robot approaches him, stings his head, and then leaves.
From the spot where the robot touched him emits a pinpoint of light. Confused and aching, Webrid is then delighted, and confused, to find that a fortune has suddenly appeared in his bank account. These two events start the adventures that take Webrid and the reader across the galaxy. A contributor to Publishers Weekly wrote, “the book’s joy lies in the humorous prose… as Webrid blusters his way across the galaxy.”
BIOCRIT
PERIODICALS
MBR Bookwatch, December, 2013, review of Trouble at the Scriptorium.
Children’s Bookwatch, October, 2013, review of Trouble at the Scriptorium.
Publishers Weekly, April 16, 2012, review of Green Light Delivery, p. 45; January 30, 2017, review of Red Spawn Delivery, p. 184.
ONLINE
New York Journal of Books, http://www.nyjournalofbooks.com (June 19, 2013), Toni V. Sweeney, review of Green Light Delivery; (October 8, 2017), Toni V. Sweeney, review of Blue Diamond Delivery.*
Interview with Anne E. Johnson
Written on 17 July 2013. Posted in Author Interviews
0
BRoP Logo Revised
The Blog Ring of Power Presents...
An Interview with Author Anne E. Johnson
johnson authorpic2
Today, we have fantasy author Anne E. Johnson on the Blog Ring of Power via BRoP member Sandra Almazon Ulbrich, though I know Anne, too. She's a fellow member of Broad Universe and she's hosted me on her blog during my Hereafter release blog tour. Anne is here to tell us a bit about her creative process and her latest novel, Blue Diamond Delivery, a "noir inspired, funny science fiction story." Come on, admit it, that description alone is enough to make you check it out! :-)
This is part three of a five-part interview. Be sure to check out the other BRoP sites for the rest of the interview:
Part 1 @ Sandra Ulbrich Almazon - Monday, July 15
Part 2 @ Vicki Lemp Weavil - Tuesday, July 16
Part 4 @ T.W. Fendley - Thursday, July 18
Part 5 @ Emily LaBonte - Friday, July 19
BRoP: Do you have a specific writing style?
Anne: My style depends on what I’m writing. For Blue Diamond Delivery and the other Webrid novels, I try for what I call humorous sci-fi noir. The style might be described as Douglas Adams meets Raymond Chandler. The characters are extreme, even over-the-top. The language of each character is distinctive in its use of words and phrases, but not in a realistic way. I would say the novel is cartoonish in its style.
BRoP: How do you deal with writer’s block?
Anne: I have a number of methods, depending on the circumstances. Sometimes I put the project away and start working on something very different. Sometimes I take a nap or a walk. Sometimes I open a notebook, pick up a pen, and force myself to write a few words in slow motion. By the end of five or six words, I’ve already sped up. For me, the key to beating writer’s block is not giving in to it. I know enough about my own psychology to understand that the worst thing I can do when I “can’t write” is not to write. Anyway, it’s my job. Everybody on earth has to do their job when they don’t feel like it.
BRoP: How do you develop your plots and characters? Do you use any set formula?
Anne: I develop my plots in layers. That is, I start with a short description of a concept. Then I break it into, say, fifteen sentences. I expand those sentences in to paragraphs, so that I end up with maybe thirty short paragraphs. This becomes my chapter-by-chapter outline. It certainly changes as I proceed, but it helps me a lot to have that framework there when I start writing prose. As to characters, I find that they develop as I do my first draft. By the second half of a draft, I’ve often learned things about them that require me to change how they act or speak in the first half.
BRoP: Do you use critique partners or beta readers? Why or why not?
Anne: I’ve never used a critique partner. I do have beta readers who help me catch inconsistencies and typos, but in general they’re very sweet and encouraging. Probably I should find some more ruthless beta readers, but I’m very grateful for the ones I have! It’s a big deal to ask a busy person to read an 80,000 word draft of something.
BRoP: Is there anything you find particularly challenging to write?
Anne: In terms of genre or style, I’m completely hopeless at erotica. I tried a couple of times, just because it’s a very lucrative field. In terms of different types of writing within Blue Diamond Delivery, I think scenes with more action than dialog are especially tricky. It’s hard to convey both physical movement and emotional excitement in a way that keeps the reader completely engaged and doesn’t make them think about how hard the author is working.
BRoP: What format is your book available in (print, e-book, audio book, etc.)?
Anne: Both
Interview with Author – Anne E. Johnson
By Book Goodies Leave a Comment
AnneEJohnsonsm
About Anne E. Johnson:
Drawing from her eclectic background in music history and classical languages, Brooklyn-based author Anne E. Johnson writes in a variety of genres for both adults and children. Her short speculative fiction has appeared in Urban Fantasy Magazine, PerihelionSF, Liquid Imagination, FrostFire Worlds, Shelter of Daylight, The Future Fire, and elsewhere. Her science fiction novels include Green Light Delivery, Blue Diamond Delivery, and the upcoming Space Surfers. Anne’s speculative fiction for children and tweens includes the paranormal mystery Ebenezer’s Locker from MuseItUp Publishing plus dozens of short stories. As a way to give back to the writing community, Anne contributes a weekly column called Kid Lit Insider to the website Eat Sleep Write, and she is a volunteer story judge and the social media manager for Rate Your Story.
What inspires you to write?
My father is an arts journalist, so writing is in my blood. Yet my imagination keeps me from being satisfied at writing about someone else’s work. It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I finally had the nerve to try to write a piece of fiction. But then I was hooked. I expect to spend the rest of my life in the joyous honing of my craft.
Tell us about your writing process.
I don’t do formal outlines, but I do take a lot of notes about plot. Usually I end up with one line per prospective chapter to get me going before I really start to draft. And no fancy software for me: I outline and draft by hand in paper notebooks. It was good enough for Mary Shelley, and it seems to help keep me closer to my creative process. Once I’ve done one draft, then everything gets moved onto a computer. I use Dragon dictation software. And, wow, do I learn a lot about the piece by reading it out loud at that stage!
For Fiction Writers: Do you listen (or talk to) to your characters?
I’m not the talk-to-my-characters type, although I certainly understand and encourage that if it’s natural to the writer. I’m more of a silent imaginer: I have a gate in my mind, and when I open it, plot and character details gush out. I don’t know how to describe it.
What advice would you give other writers?
Read lots of high-quality literature, even if it’s not in your genre. Study foreign languages to get to know how your own language works. Write every day. EVERY. DAY. Even if it’s just a hundred words. The toughest balance to strike: Be endlessly critical of what you write, yet also able to keep moving forward with the work (and eventually release it out into the world).
How did you decide how to publish your books?
I have done and continue to do both traditional and self-publishing. Each has its values and drawbacks. The great thing about traditional publishing is that the cost of editing and production is paid for. Also, you have people checking your work and giving you feedback at every step. However, as I can attest, working with small presses can be…challenging. It all depends on the company. Self-pub, of course, is gloriously independent; then again, everything is on you.
At this moment, given the people I’m working with, I’d say I prefer traditional publishing, but there is a lot to be said for taking things into your own hands.
What do you think about the future of book publishing?
I do not believe for a moment that the print book is dead. I think the proliferation of e-books is a wonderful thing, especially the technologies that can change fiction itself, such as the multimedia and hyperlinked novel. The opportunity we have to publish our own work is a double-edged sword (more books available, but also more shoddy work that has undergone no pro-level oversight), but I’d say that, overall, it’s a very positive thing.
What do you use?: Beta Readers
What genres do you write?: science fiction, fantasy, historical fiction, children’s
What formats are your books in?: Both eBook and Print
Website(s)
Anne E. Johnson Home Page Link
Link To Anne E. Johnson Page On Amazon
Link to Author Page on other site
Your Social Media Links
Goodreads
Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
All information in this post is presented “as is” supplied by the author. We don’t edit, to allow you, the reader, to hear the author in their own voice.
Trouble At The Scriptorium
MBR Bookwatch.
(Dec. 2013):
COPYRIGHT 2013 Midwest Book Review
http://www.midwestbookreview.com
Full Text:
Trouble At The Scriptorium
Anne E. Johnson
Royal Fireworks Press
First Avenue, PO Box 399, Unionville, NY 10988-0399
9780880923927, $9.99, www.amazon.com
Anne E. Johnson has a fascinating background, having taught music history at The New School for Music in New
York City. After fifteen years of teaching, she turned to writing full time. She possesses a Master's Degree in Music
Theory and History.
Basing "Trouble At The Scriptorium" in the 13th century, the tale begins with Harley, son of a jester. Harley lives in a
medieval castle, where one "knows one's place." Harley grew up with Lady Margaret, which is hard because they are
now old enough where their childhood friendship has to be set aside:
"He had gone most of the day without thinking about Lady Margaret, but now her pale, round face filled his mind, and
it confused him. She was the daughter of Sir William and Lady Ursula, and was twelve years old, just like Harley. But
Harley was the son of a chambermaid and a traveling entertainer. He was not allowed even to speak to this girl unless
she addressed him directly."
All this is about to change when a chant book produced by the monks at the scriptorium for Lady Margaret's mother
contains a page full of errors, with notes inked in the wrong color. What can it mean? Harley is attacked in the library
of St. Aiden's monastery, as he peruses the problematic chant book. He takes it upon himself to solve the mystery, and
his beloved Lady Margaret becomes his sleuthing buddy in his quest to solve this historical whodunit.
Johnson has written a lovely book meant for a younger audience, but is entertaining for all ages. Her intent is to bring
history alive, and she accomplishes her mission with flying colors. TROUBLE AT THE SCRIPTORIUM is a tale
bursting with imagination. Harley's pa rtners include soldiers, monks, and a horse named Courage.
Source Citation (MLA 8th
Edition)
"Trouble At The Scriptorium." MBR Bookwatch, Dec. 2013. General OneFile, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?
p=ITOF&sw=w&u=schlager&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA353324366&it=r&asid=7e846e3ab93b468265edd8a1bcfa4e3e.
Accessed 8 Oct. 2017.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A353324366
10/8/2017 General OneFile - Saved Articles
http://go.galegroup.com/ps/marklist.do?actionCmd=GET_MARK_LIST&userGroupName=schlager&inPS=true&prodId=ITOF&ts=1507502016926 2/4
Trouble at the Scriptorium
Children's Bookwatch.
(Oct. 2013):
COPYRIGHT 2013 Midwest Book Review
http://www.midwestbookreview.com/cbw/index.htm
Full Text:
Trouble at the Scriptorium
Anne E. Johnson
Royal Fireworks Press
First Avenue, PO Box 399
Unionville, NY 10988
9780880923927 $9.99 www.rfwp.com
Trouble at the Scriptorium is a historical novel for young adults, set in medieval England. Harley is the son of the court
jester; he was raised with the graceful and beautiful Lady Margaret, but their difference in class and rank has created a
vast gulf between them. This begins to change when they find an illustrated chantbook with a secret code, warning
about the malevolent deeds of the new head of the scriptorium. A suspenseful novel of life-or-death intrigue, Trouble
at the Scriptorium keeps the reader hooked until the very end! Also highly recommended for YA fiction collections are
Joyce Esely's "Oil Field Brats" (9780880925297, $9.99) and Leslie J. Wyatt's "River Rats" (9780898243789, $9.99).
Source Citation (MLA 8th
Edition)
"Trouble at the Scriptorium." Children's Bookwatch, Oct. 2013. General OneFile, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?
p=ITOF&sw=w&u=schlager&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA346626980&it=r&asid=2f14f3868ea2b71adaf0f70eaf53f048.
Accessed 8 Oct. 2017.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A346626980
10/8/2017 General OneFile - Saved Articles
http://go.galegroup.com/ps/marklist.do?actionCmd=GET_MARK_LIST&userGroupName=schlager&inPS=true&prodId=ITOF&ts=1507502016926 3/4
Green Light Delivery
Publishers Weekly.
259.16 (Apr. 16, 2012): p45.
COPYRIGHT 2012 PWxyz, LLC
http://www.publishersweekly.com/
Full Text:
Green Light Delivery
Anne E. Johnson. Candlemark & Gleam, $19.95 trade paper (282p) ISBN 978-1-936460-28-1
Middle-grade author Johnson (Ebenezer's Locker) riffs on familiar SF tropes in her first novel for adults, featuring an
everyalien caught up in intrigue beyond his understanding. Ganpril Webrid, a Yeril street vendor with claws and
multiple tongues, is annoyed when his routine workday is interrupted by a robot who tells him that he has "been
called." The robot then stings Webrid with a feeler that leaves a pinpoint of light shining from his head. Webrid's
headache is somewhat ameliorated when he learns that 12 million dendiacs have appeared in his bank account and he's
been granted a universal carter's license that will let him work on any planet he likes. Both developments are merely
the prelude to an interplanetary adventure whose true purpose is withheld from him until the very end. The book's joy
lies in the humorous prose ("Her wink could have clipped the wings off a beetle") as Webrid blusters his way across
the galaxy. (June)
Source Citation (MLA 8th
Edition)
"Green Light Delivery." Publishers Weekly, 16 Apr. 2012, p. 45. General OneFile, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?
p=ITOF&sw=w&u=schlager&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA286826516&it=r&asid=713574a9bffc146862cd6f7618aaf6fe.
Accessed 8 Oct. 2017.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A286826516
10/8/2017 General OneFile - Saved Articles
http://go.galegroup.com/ps/marklist.do?actionCmd=GET_MARK_LIST&userGroupName=schlager&inPS=true&prodId=ITOF&ts=1507502016926 4/4
Red Spawn Delivery
Publishers Weekly.
264.5 (Jan. 30, 2017): p184.
COPYRIGHT 2017 PWxyz, LLC
http://www.publishersweekly.com/
Full Text:
Red Spawn Delivery
Anne E. Johnson. Candlemark & Gleam,
$19.95 trade paper (250p) ISBN 978-1936460-73-1
Johnson's inordinate fondness for confusing language is a major barrier to engagement with her offbeat, ostensibly
humorous third science fiction thriller featuring "every-alien" carter Ganpril Webrid (after 2013's Blue Diamond
Delivery). The text is full of similes that can mean nothing to earthlings, or at least to newcomers to Johnson's
universe: "Her voice rasped like a Seven-Nosed Snardos warning her children about the olfactory perils of public
lavatories." Slapping alien descriptors on items like food ("shintal crisps, fatty zempra salad, and steamed shamtibby
on the half-shell") is hardly thoughtful worldbuilding. This time, Webrid finds himself in the midst of a search for
kidnapped babies. His quiet picnic on Bexilla with his friend Zatell is interrupted when a Glospra-Sharozda named
Narmoi begins giving birth through spawn sacs on her legs. Not long after the newborns emerge, they are abducted by
"winged prism beasts" called Snatch Vroogi. Narmoi ropes Webrid and Zatell into joining the quest to identify who is
behind the snatching and rescue the little Glospra-Sharozdas. Unfortunately, the flimsy plot is accompanied by
paperthin characterizations. (Mar.)
Source Citation (MLA 8th
Edition)
"Red Spawn Delivery." Publishers Weekly, 30 Jan. 2017, p. 184. General OneFile, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?
p=ITOF&sw=w&u=schlager&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA480195191&it=r&asid=eb40c06016f085da3f0a3677f098b1a2.
Accessed 8 Oct. 2017.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A480195191
Blue Diamond Delivery
Image of Blue Diamond Delivery (Webrid Chronicles)
Author(s):
Anne E. Johnson
Release Date:
June 25, 2013
Publisher/Imprint:
Candlemark & Gleam
Pages:
332
Buy on Amazon
Reviewed by:
Toni V. Sweeney
“. . . a fun, slapstick kind of story . . .”
Recovering from his last—and up to this point, only adventure—Ganpril Webrid wakes up in the middle of an earthquake and is soon up to his hairy shoulders in another mishap.
As he digs himself out of the wreckage, Webrid receives a message card from Ghen Nestro, Liaision of Societal Affairs.
“The Raralt Planet Circle Federated Government requires your services.”
“Say what?”
“You are needed for a top secret mission which can save millions of lives.”
“Oh, Come on.”
“Right now, you are surely doubting the truth of this claim.”
“You think?”
Webrid is uber-doubtful. He argues, he lies, he does everything but fling himself on the floor in a tantrum.
“Why does it always gotta be me? Look at me! I’m a millionaire but . . . I had cookies and beer for breakfast this morning. Do I seriously seem like the guy to fix your messes for you?”
Apparently, he does. He’s given an address and told to go there, and to “bring your cart.”
(This isn’t Webrid’s original cart, by the way. That was destroyed the last time he saved the world and millions of lives. This one is brand-new, cutting edge, and even has sparkly lights blinking around it. Webrid’s so thrilled he’s been using it as a table, hidden under a lacy doily.)
So, Webrid sets off . . . with his cart. In a matter of minutes on the street, he’s sucked into a gelatinous vortex.
“At this point, facing eternity, another man might have thought, At least I got to save the world once. Webrid thought, Dammit, I’m gonna die without eating my lunch.”
Neither happens. Webrid finds he’s been a) transported to Ghen Nestro’s office, and b) hired to take a diamond from Rada-2 to someplace he’ll be told later. Actually, Ghen Nestro doesn’t want Webrid, he just wants to hire his cart. The carter himself can stay behind.
Family tradition rises. A carter never deserts his cart. Webrid accepts the assignment.
If he’s going to Rada-2, he’ll need transport, so Webrid immediately enlists old cohorts-in-his-last-adventure, Zatell and Stravin . . . and away they go!
Almost immediately, they’re accosted by a lady on a FlatPlat. RekRek Ree wants the intrepid trio to help her find her missing husband Galee. Stravin is more interested in the FlatPlat, which he insists was invented by his missing lover Kaforissin who was hauled out of his lab three years before and hasn’t been seen since.
In fact, several pieces of ultra-sophisticated technology they encounter appear to have been made by Kaforrissin, which makes Stavin wonder if his sweetheart isn’t dead after all but has gone commercial and selling off his secrets.
Somewhere along the way, Webrid acquires a tabula rasa in his head that supplies further information as they go but only on a need-to-know basis.
In bits and pieces, they discover why the blue diamond is the key to saving the world(s).
It seems the Raralt Planets are an artificially created group which really shouldn’t be in the same system. Something called the Gravitational Swing-binding Engine (or the Orbital Germ for short) holds them together.
“The old Pointstone is wearing out. That’s why there are so many quakes. Putting a new diamond in the Orbital Germ will get everything back to normal.”
Sounds simple enough, except . . .
A crackpot group called the League of Planetary Secessionists wants to get their idealistic hands on the blue diamond and take one of the planets out of the system and into its own.
They aren’t counting on the fact that the quakes caused by the old diamond wearing out are making the gravitational pull uneven.
“Just to be clear,” said Webrid, never one to do work that didn’t really need doing. “What would happen if we just let the planet fly off?”
“Everyone would die.”
“Well okay then. Good to know.”
Getting the blue diamond isn’t all that difficult—well, not much—but then the rock has to be cut. And after that, there’s an encounter with a reality visi-show host to get Webdrid as a guest on his planet-orbiting yacht, an army of a thousand attacking female Slofs with poison-soaked bones, more earthquakes, Stravin disappears, and the diamond won’t fit into the Germ.
More questions than answers. Where does RekRek Ree fit in? Is Kaforissin really alive? Why does Webrid’s cart keep blinking a code message which says, “Stravin, I love you”? And how can Zatell’s blood force the diamond to fit into the Germ?
This may be Webrid’s second adventure but it could be his final one if he can’t figure out the answers to at least two of the above.
In this sequel to Green Light Delivery, there are even more outrageous characters and unpronounceable names. There’s sarcasm, hairbreadth escapes, and if one looks closely, perhaps a bit of political satire.
Author Anne E. Johnson has a delightful (if dense) hero in Ganpril Webrid, who somehow always manages to save the day and the world in spite of himself. It’s a fun, slapstick kind of story, guaranteeing at least two laughs per chapter.
Toni V. Sweeney is the author of The Adventures of Sinbad and The Kan Ingan Archives series and also writes under the pseudonym Icy Snow Blackstone.
Green Light Delivery
Image of Green Light Delivery
Author(s):
Anne E. Johnson
Release Date:
June 19, 2013
Publisher/Imprint:
Candlemark & Gleam
Pages:
282
Buy on Amazon
Reviewed by:
Toni V. Sweeney
“. . . a witty narrative . . .”
Ganpril Webrid is a carter, delivering and selling items from the cart handed down to him through his family for generations. That cart is like an old friend; it goes everywhere with him.
He’s a familiar site in the Bargical business districts of the plant Bexilla, a “pure Yeril, hulking and hairy with unsightly claws . . . Still, the good folks of Bargical appeciate their carters, even if they didn’t want their daughters to marry one. . . .”
It’s a little refreshing to have a “hero” who isn’t handsome or angst ridden, or even vaguely dissatisfied with his lot in life. Webrid definitely fits this description.
He’s happily vending his latest consignment of jamboro cakes. Sales aren’t doing too well so Webrid decides to call it a day before the afternoon smog sets in, and then things gets hinky. . . .
He’s mugged by a robot.
Not exactly mugged. “A delicate feeler came flying out of the robot’s head and wiped across his forehead. It stung . . . the thing was gone. Upward. Out of sight.”
Webrid is left with a bit of a headache and that’s all, though in one eye, he sees a weird green pattern similar to a tree.
It’s surprising to go immediately into the plot, instead of having to endure numerous pages or chapters of setup. Author Johnson gets us there within paragraphs. Webrid’s encounter with the robot happens on page one.
Soon the “Second-State Licensed Carter” has more to worry about than a headache, however. There’s now a green light shining between his eyes. A couple of threatening criminal types get incinerated when it touches them. What’s even odder—in Webrid’s view—someone has deposited 12 million dendriacs in his account, paid his rent a year in advance, and bought him a First-State Universal Carter’s License.
Webrid takes these last two in stride, but worries about the first one.
Ever the realist, “He didn’t assume he’d won the lottery. Instead, his spirit plummeted, imaging the crash he would surely feel after this colossal mistake was discovered and they took all the money away . . . he also realized he needed to get the hell out of town.”
Out of town means going to the planet Cheed, which turns out to be a partial mistake. On the way, he learns his license was paid for by one Rempener Dras, but who or what is this person? Even the Vox, the all-knowing, omniscient, omnipresent purveyor of everyone’s life isn’t talking . . . and that right there is cause to worry.
There are plenty of alien sounding words in this story, and it’s pleasing to find them merely mentioned without long explanations as to their origin or meaning. Without insult to the reader’s intelligence, they’re used in such a way one can infer from the context and move on.
The name “Rempener Dras” opens doors, where none should for a simple carter. Along the way, Webrid acquires a bnarli, a device to hide the green light shining from his forehead. He also learns what’s been implanted in his head . . .
More or less.
“You’re carrying the light.”
”Where?”
“It’ll guide you.”
“How can it guide me? Does it talk?”
“Don’t worry, man. It’ll guide you. This I know.”
Webrid thought he could feel his chain being yanked.
Reasoning that what Rempener Dras hired him to do was deliver the light, and the robot-mugger was the method by which it was brought to him, the carter in Webrid is momentarily satisfied. He has an employer, he has a package, he’ll do what he’s hired to do…deliver the package.
New problem: How and to whom?
Webrid learns the hard way. Soon he’s up to his hairy ears and taloned paws in members of the Swarattan Resistance Force, the greedily ambitious Cheed Council Secretary, and police bots. He’s jumped by a local crime gang, beaten and chased, captured and escapes from all manner of unsavory characters who only have one goal: to obtain the light inside his skull by any means possible.
Through it all Wegrid behaves with characteristic aplomb.
“As a proud Yeril, he was determined to die running away at tremendous speed.”
This happens continuously.
“For the tenth time in over a week, Webrid assumed he was about to die. He was getting used to the feeling, and by now it caused more of a dull disappointment than a panic.”
Saved once again by circumstance rather than his own ability, he accumulates a group of occasionally helpful friends and gains a hideout . . . the SRS Draspar, a Swarattan Roving Ship disguised as a floating office building.
His accomplices/saviors are:
The Fekli twins, leaders of the Resistance; Debley, slender, brown-eyed and skinless; and his sister Leshi, for whom Webrid has a more than lustful interest. They seem to know more about Webrid than he does but are woefully reticent to share.
Zatell is a female rocket scientist who’s all head surrounded by a sunburst ring of arms. She also pilots people who need to fly under the local law enforcement radar.
Stravin, a white-feathered city engineer who invents items for criminal enterprises. He tags along simply so he can experience an adventure.
Azhanda, a furry little Zenivar who’s as polite as most of her species but appears to know more than she’s telling. She also is the most levelheaded of the bunch.
Last, but not least, Webrid’s grandpa’s cart, getting more beaten with each mishap but still rattling along.
“And so it came to pass that Ganpril Webrid, lowly carter of Bargival, found himself on a clandestine tour of Cheed’s uncharted northern hemisphere.” With this intrepid band, Webrid and his faithful cart will discover once and for all what the light contains and how it’ll help the Resistance and get the answer to the burning question: Why did Rempener Dras pick him to deliver it?
Told from Wegrid’s point of view, this is a witty narrative. Its sharp retorts, comical situations, and zany characters—from Wegrid himself to the many-armed, sun ray-like Zatell—make it laugh out loud hilarious in spots, as do the far away places of Cheed, Bexilla and the Raralt Circle and the strange-sounding names of geffir fruit, janz rolls, and druken Edjenels—whatever they are.
For those who like their science fiction with a generous injection of humor, Anne E. Johnson’s tale of a mission improbable—though nowhere near impossible—will hit the spot. It’s a hilarious and entertaining read.
Toni V. Sweeney is the author of The Adventures of Sinbad and The Kan Ingan Archives series and also writes under the pseudonym Icy Snow Blackstone.