Project and content management for Contemporary Authors volumes
WORK TITLE: The Happiest Kids in the World
WORK NOTES: with Michele Hutchison
PSEUDONYM(S):
BIRTHDATE:
WEBSITE: http://www.findingdutchland.com/
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY: Netherlands
NATIONALITY: American
Filipino-American * AU blog: http://www.findingdutchland.com/ * http://www.findingdutchland.com/about/ * https://theexperimentpublishing.com/tag/rina-mae-acosta-and-michele-hutchison/
RESEARCHER NOTES:
PERSONAL
Married, husband’s name Bram; children: Julius, Matteo.
EDUCATION:University of California Berkeley (graduated); Erasmus University, Rotterdam, the Netherlands (graduated).
ADDRESS
CAREER
Writer.
WRITINGS
SIDELIGHTS
Rina Mae Acosta is a Filipino-American writer, parenting expert, and blogger. She lives in the Netherlands, where she raises her children and writes frequently on parenting and child-raising. She holds degrees from the University of California Berkeley and the Erasmus University in Rotterdam, Netherlands.
Acosta is also a popular contributor to the blog Finding Dutchland, which she founded. There she writes about the Netherlands and topics related to Dutch parenting, along with associated topics in history, education, society, culture, and customs. She shares blogging duties on the site with her frequent collaborator, Michelle Hutchison.
The Happiest Kids in the World: Bringing Up Children the Dutch Way, written by Acosta and Hutchison, is a parenting book focused on the style of child-rearing popular in the Netherlands. It was inspired, in part, by a 2013 report from the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) which ranked children in the Netherlands as being the happiest in the world. The book was also inspired by Acosta and Hutchison’s own experiences as expatriate mothers raising their own children in the Netherlands (Hutchison is from England, and Acosta is from the United States). “The authors have come to embrace the Dutch lifestyle, largely because of how the culture and government policies help create laid-back parents and self-assured children,” commented Vicky Hallett in a review in the Washington Post.
The Dutch style of raising children focuses more on treating kids as individuals rather than miniature adults or extensions of their parents. In the Netherlands, “kids swim and play outdoors unsupervised all the time. They are expected to make realistic risk assessments, and become hardy and independent; to get muddy, then do their own laundry,” observed Helen Brown in the London Daily Mail. There is less stress for children to endure at most points in their lives. For example, academic competition is limited; Dutch children don’t even start school until they turn six, Brown noted. Competition and anxiety over grades, extracurricular activities, and even acceptance into the “right” schools do not exist in the Netherlands. In this less competitive environment, children can focus more on learning and less on nonacademic issues.
The Dutch style of raising children starts from the child’s earliest years. Dutch babies, for example, are expected to get plenty of rest, afforded a regularity of routine, and provided with clean surroundings for themselves and their belongings. “And to make sure they get them, the government’s consultatiebureau—which monitors kids’ growth and development—hands out a parent instruction manual. Some key takeaways: Give babies a predictable routine, limit outings to just once a day, and prevent outside distractions, such as TV,” Hallett reported.
Even the teenage years are easier for Dutch children and their parents, according to Hutchison and Acosta. The Netherlands may have a reputation as being liberal when it comes to issues of drug usage, sex, and alcohol, but this does not detract from their dedication to their children at all ages. “The relaxed, but fully informed attitudes to sex, drugs and alcohol in Holland yields remarkably well-adjusted young people. Their low rates of teen pregnancy, drug abuse, and binge drinking put us to shame,” Brown remarked.
The authors note, tellingly, that Dutch parents realize that achievement does not automatically translate into happiness. However, they do recognize that happiness can and often does lead to achievement, and it is achievement that can provide greater satisfaction with what has been accomplished and the likelihood that any lessons learned will be retained.
Reviewer Meaghan Darling, writing in Xpress Reviews, recommended The Happiest Children in the World for “parents looking to adopt a more relaxed parenting style and create a less stressful environment for their children.”
BIOCRIT
PERIODICALS
Daily Mail (London, England), January 13, 2017, Helen Brown, “More Chores Plus More Risks Equals Happy Kids: Why Dutch Children Are the Happiest in the World,” review of The Happiest Kids in the World: Bringing Up Children the Dutch Way.
Star (Toronto, Ontario, Canada), April 20, 2017, Brandie Weikle, “And the Happiest Kids in the World Are . . . ,” interview with Rina Mae Acosta.
Washington Post Book World, April 6, 2017, Vicky Hallett, “Book World: The Key to Raising Happy Kids? The Latest Trend Says Do as the Dutch Do,” review of The Happiest Kids in the World.
Xpress Reviews, May 19, 2017, Meaghan Darling, review of The Happiest Kids in the World.
ONLINE
Finding Dutchland Website, http://www.findingdutchland.com (October 14, 2017).
Ploughshares at Emerson College Blog, http://blog.pshares.org/ (March 28, 2016), Graham Oliver, “Compensation and Nuance: An Interview with Michele Hutchison.”
Scary Mommy, http://www.scarymommy.com/ (October 14, 2017), biography of Rina Mae Acosta.
Rina Mae Acosta is an American writer currently living the Dutch village life with her husband and two sons, scribbling down random notes about life amidst the chaos of early motherhood.
Rina Mae Acosta is a writer from California currently living in the Netherlands with her Dutch husband and two young sons. She founded the successful parenting blog Finding Dutchland.
Rina Mae Acosta is an Asian-American writer from California currently living in the Netherlands with her Dutch husband and two young sons. She holds degrees from the University of California, Berkeley, and Erasmus University in Rotterdam. She is the author of a successful parenting blog, Finding Dutchland.
And the happiest kids in the world are ...: Weikle
Brandie Weikle speaks to the author of a new book on how Dutch parents help their kids achieve happiness.
Michele Hutchison, with her husband Martijn and kids Ina and Ben, left, co-wrote a book on raising children in the Netherlands with Rina Mae Acosta, with her husband Bram and kids Julius and baby Matteo, right. (Rosa van Ederen / Rosa van Ederen)
By Brandie WeikleStar Touch
Thu., April 20, 2017
What if the key to raising contented kids lies not in priming our children for success, but rather in encouraging their happiness so they can find their own version of achievement?
That’s the approach embraced by parents in the Netherlands, which is, according to a 2013 UNICEF report, home to the happiest children from among the 26 richest nations in the world.
A new book called The Happiest Kids in the World: How Dutch Parents Help Their Kids (and Themselves) by Doing Less explores what makes the Dutch approach to parenting different. Rina Mae Acosta, a California native, and co-author Michele Hutchison, from the U.K., both married Dutch men and are raising their kids in the Netherlands.
I spoke to Acosta recently about what defines the Dutch style of parenting.
You write that Dutch parents have a healthy attitude toward their kids, seeing them as individuals rather than as extensions of themselves, and that achievement doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness, but that happiness can cultivate achievement. Why is that such an important distinction?
Us modern parents all throughout the world, especially in America, we believe that in order to be happy in life, you have to be successful. But the Dutch have realized that happiness comes first before anything else. And when I’m talking about happiness I’m not talking about children being spoiled and entitled. I’m talking about children who are self-aware, who are able to be independent and who learn to make their own decisions. And children who are allowed to be children and to figure out their own passions in life early on and allowed to be who they are. The Dutch realize that’s more important than trying to push children into a certain mould.
What is the most over-arching distinction, you find, between how your peers back at home in the U.S. are experiencing parenting, compared to your life as a parent in the Netherlands?
As Americans, we’re a lot more anxious about our decisions. We try so hard to be the perfect parents, and society in America and Canada is a lot more critical, too. And that’s really sad because in Holland they still continue parenting the way we were parented in the ’70s, ’80s, where it was a more down-to-earth, pragmatic approach.
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Apparently Dutch babies get more sleep. What is the deal there? How do they do it?
Before I went Dutch, a common point of solidarity among parents would be sleep deprivation. It was something that I thought was universally understood and accepted. But what I discovered, and what no one’s really talking about, was that for the most part Dutch babies — and hence Dutch parents — don’t have serious sleep issues. Their babies sleep on average two hours more (per day) than their American peers do. What most parents can actually do is simply have what the Dutch call the two “Rs” — rest and regularity. The basic idea is — especially for newborns, babies and toddlers — to create a calm, predictable environment with a certain set schedule of sleep, play and eat. And once you have those established, you can help regulate their sleep.
Let’s shift gears and talk about schooling. Dutch children are apparently among the least to feel pressured at school. Why is that?
It’s just a whole different perspective on what a child is, I believe. While we obviously have to educate children, in the Netherlands they realize that what’s most important in preschool is to teach children how to play. That includes focusing on their social and emotional development. That’s a critical foundation to build. Then you can start teaching them academically at six, seven, eight. Versus in America: I’m afraid that we’ve forgotten the importance of play. Rather than focusing on that, there’s a lot more focus on academics. But a lot of education researchers agree that an immature brain is not ready yet to take it all in. Interesting the children who are allowed to develop at their own pace are the ones who are allowed to have that intrinsic motivation to succeed.
It’s interesting you should say that because the Dutch are achieving that intrinsic motivation without the carrot of an A+ grade. Can you briefly explain how the grading works?
The idea is to really allow children to fall in love with learning. They establish a really high bar in terms of what a child is supposed to know. The emphasis isn’t the actual grade, but to teach children how to think, how to be passionate about learning. There is no ranking.
It’s interesting that while the Netherlands offers several types of high school, there doesn’t seem to be much gnashing of teeth over which one a child goes to.
No, the Dutch realize that not every single person is meant to go to university. Not everyone is meant to be a doctor, a lawyer or a high-level professional. Some are actually meant to become nurses or teachers or chefs. And they realize that every child has their own special talent or special interest, so why is there a need to make every child conform to the status quo?
What do you most wish that parents living in Canada, or other parts of the world with similarly intense approaches to raising kids, will take away from this book?
Please be kind to yourself as a parent. Know that you doing your best is good enough. If you’re more forgiving of yourself and accepting of all your mistakes, and also congratulate yourself for the things you are doing really well, the children will see that.
Brandie Weikle is a parenting expert and the host of The New Family Podcast, as well as editor of thenewfamily.com
Unable to copy
Compensation and Nuance: An Interview with Michele Hutchison
Author: Graham Oliver |
Mar
28
2016
Posted in Interviews
Michele Hutchison is an editor, blogger, and translator of both Dutch and French living in Amsterdam. For this interview, we’re talking about one of her latest projects, La Superba, a novel written by Ilja Leonard Pfeijffer recently published in the US by Deep Vellum. Pfeijffer is known in the Netherlands for both his prose and his poetry, and this is the second novel of his that Hutchison has translated. La Superba is a semi-autobiographical account of a Dutch poet living in Genoa. The novel has won multiple awards, including the Libris Literatuur Prijs and the Tzum Prize for most beautiful sentence.
Graham Oliver: Tell me about that Tzum Prize. Did that add some weight when translating? Did you seek out those sentences first, or did you try to keep yourself unaware of which sentences they were?
Michele Hutchison: Yes, I did worry about those sentences and to be honest, I think other sentences in the translation worked out better. So if you were going to look for a Tzum contender in the English edition, I think you’d choose something different. Translation’s always like that—you try to pick up elsewhere what you’ve dropped along the way. To be more explicit, I’m talking about compensation, often discussed in translation circles. I try to compensate by imitating the author’s style where possible. For example, if he’s used alliteration in a passage, I might not be able to replicate it at that exact same point, but I hope to get it in somewhere.
GO: In the book, the protagonist mentions how he’s frequently approached when in his home country of the Netherlands when he’s out in public by people who recognize him. Do you have a sense of how true this is? While we have a few iconic writers in America, I can’t imagine there are many who worry about being recognized every time they go out in public.
MH: Remember that the protagonist is an unreliable narrator who lives in a fantasy world, so everything should be taken with a pinch of salt. That said, it’s actually true that Ilja is a very famous figure in the Netherlands and does frequently get approached in public. He’s a large, striking-looking man so it’s easy to recognize him. Actually, he was primarily known as a poet before he broke out as a novelist with La Superba which won a major prize. It’s hard to imagine, but poetry is a major art form in the Netherlands. Poets are famous here and poetry is well-respected. Ilja has won a lot of prizes for his poetry including a recent grand slam of three awards in a row for his latest collection, Idylls. Add to that a writer who has an amazing stage presence and is a great performer and yes, you’ve got a national celebrity.
I’d like to add that in real life he is quite modest. I’m concerned about Americans not getting the dry Dutch sense of humour in the book. The Dutch are quite self-deprecating and don’t mind having a laugh at their own expense.
GO: A lot of this book is exploring the difference between the southern, Italian way of life that the protagonist is trying to assimilate into, and the northern, Dutch way of life that he comes from. One of my favorite distinctions drawn is that in the Netherlands they drink beer while watching football and at some point the beer becomes more important than the football, whereas in Italy they drink coffee while watching and become almost fanatical. He simultaneously mocks/loves parts of both cultures. As Americans looking in, we might miss some of the nuance presented. What should we pay attention to?
MH: I think Americans tend to lump everything European into a big mixed bag called “Europe” which means history and quaintness and tradition and old buildings. Americans often think the Netherlands is part of Scandinavia, getting it confused with Denmark, but I guess the cultures are similar so we shouldn’t find it as laughable as we do. Northern Europe is cold and wet and dark and it’s a very typical thing to long for a place in the sun—hence the dream of moving to Italy. Italy is to the Netherlands what Spain is to the UK, so we get that sense of longing to move somewhere that is warm and romantic. The USA is so massive you’ve got all those things in the same country.
GO: I have to ask, did it bother you at all that part of this semi-autobiographical novel involves the poet’s German translator throwing herself at him?
MH: That’s a good question. I found it rather hilarious to be honest and laughed out loud as I translated those sections. As you say it’s a semi-autobiographical novel, so part based on actual experiences, part based on fantasy. Where some characters are directly drawn from real life like Don, whom I met when I was there, others are not. The character isn’t a particularly realistic portrayal of a translator, is she? I doubt any translators I know would make such social faux pas as she does when out with Ilja’s Italian friends. We tend to be a little quieter and more observant. So she must be at least part fantasy, right? Part of her function in the story is for her big, blonde Germanic physicality to clash with the dark, elegant fragility of Italian women. The use of dichotomies and the carnivalesque are typical stylistic devices in Ilja’s work. Almost everything is larger than life.
GO: Who else should we be reading from Dutch literature?
MH: I’d like to recommend the wealth of Dutch poetry available in English language translation. Plenty can be found on the English-language website run by Poetry International Festival in Rotterdam.
In terms of recent collections, David Colmer’s fine rendering of Hugo Claus’ poetry in Even Now is a gem (published by Archipelago Books). The same translator has just finished Paul van Ostaijen’s Bezette Stad (Occupied City) which is one of my all-time favourites. It’s a groundbreaking work of Flemish expressionism written in 1921 and has amazing typography. Smokestack Books will be publishing in October 2016.
Dutch children’s literature is world class. Pushkin Press in the UK are doing an excellent job of rediscovering Dutch classics by Annie MG Schmidt and Tonke Dragt. Laura Watkinson’s translation of The Letter for the King by the latter has been picking up a lot of prizes.
And in terms of contemporary Dutch literature, well, I’m afraid Ilja Leonard Pfeijffer is hard to beat. He’s really my writer of choice.
Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison are the co-authors of The Happiest Kids in the World. Rina Mae Acosta is a writer from California currently living in the Netherlands with her Dutch husband and two young sons. She founded the successful parenting blog Finding Dutchland. Michele Hutchison worked in publishing in Britain before moving to Amsterdam in 2004. She is now a prominent translator of Dutch literature and lives in a traditional Dutch house with her husband and two children.
Acosta, Rina Mae & Michele Hutchison. The Happiest Kids in the World: How Dutch Parents Help Their Kids (and Themselves) by Doing Less
Meaghan Darling
(May 19, 2017):
Copyright: COPYRIGHT 2017 Library Journals, LLC
http://www.libraryjournal.com/lj/reviews/xpress/884170-289/xpress_reviews-first_look_at_new.html.csp
Acosta, Rina Mae & Michele Hutchison. The Happiest Kids in the World: How Dutch Parents Help Their Kids (and Themselves) by Doing Less. Experiment. Apr. 2017. 245p. notes. bibliog. index. ISBN 9781615193905. pap. $15.95; ebk. ISBN 9781615193912. CHILD REARING
Inspired by a 2013 UNICEF report rating Dutch children as the happiest in the world, debut authors Acosta (FindingDutchland.com) and Hutchison, both expats living in the Netherlands, investigate the reasons behind this finding. Drawing on a variety of sources, from philosophers and historians to case studies and interviews they conducted, the authors get to the heart of the relaxed Dutch culture and parenting style, as compared to their American and British counterparts who focus on competition and perfection from an early age. With more freedom that allows for unsupervised play, cycling to school, taking time to explore hobbies, and an educational system that emphasizes motivation and noncompetitive grading, Dutch children develop a strong foundation from which to pursue their interests and also have fun. While each author draws on her own experiences, observations, and research, with Acosta concentrating on elementary ages and up and Hutchison on children five and under, both contribute equally to the work, ensuring a wide range of perspective.
Verdict A must-read for all parents looking to adopt a more relaxed parenting style and create a less stressful environment for their children.--Meaghan Darling, Long Hill Twp. PL., Gillette, NJ
Source Citation (MLA 8th Edition)
Darling, Meaghan. "Acosta, Rina Mae & Michele Hutchison. The Happiest Kids in the World: How Dutch Parents Help Their Kids (and Themselves) by Doing Less." Xpress Reviews, 19 May 2017. General OneFile, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?p=ITOF&sw=w&u=schlager&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA498199952&it=r&asid=721905675c8f4cd861f93722212777c4. Accessed 25 Sept. 2017.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A498199952
Book World: The key to raising happy kids? The latest trend says do as the Dutch do
Vicky Hallett
(Apr. 6, 2017): News:
Copyright: COPYRIGHT 2017 The Washington Post
http://www.washingtonpost.com/
Byline: Vicky Hallett
The Happiest Kids in the World: How Dutch Parents Help Their Kids by Doing Less
By Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison
The Experiment. 256 pp. Paperback, $15.95
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What's wrong with the American way of parenting?
Pretty much everything, according to an outpouring of child-rearing wisdom from our compatriots abroad. We're a nation of helicoptering sanctimommies blinded by flashcards and Pinterest projects - and in desperate need of help. The 2012 best-seller "Bringing Up Bebe" touted the "wisdom of French parenting," such as serving kids multi-course meals and letting them curse with an age-appropriate word. Then it was all about "The Danish Way of Parenting," which promised to show us "what the happiest people in the world know about raising confident, capable kids." (In short, get cozy and don't yell.)
Now, apparently, it's time to go Dutch. In their new book, "The Happiest Kids in the World," two expat moms want to share what they've discovered about the Netherlands: "Childhood over here consists of lots of freedom, plenty of play and little academic stress. As a result, Dutch kids are pleasant to be around." Moreover, co-authors Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison add, "a UNICEF report rated Dutch children the happiest in the world." Take that, Denmark!
Acosta, an American, and Hutchison, a Brit, are both married to Dutch men; each couple is raising two children in the Netherlands. The authors have come to embrace the Dutch lifestyle, largely because of how the culture and government policies help create laid-back parents and self-assured children. By compiling expert interviews and sharing (and, at times, oversharing) their personal stories, the duo promises to reveal "what it is that the Dutch know and their British and American counterparts have forgotten or overlooked."
Early on, "The Happiest Kids in the World" introduces readers to the Dutch expression "Rust, Regelmaat en Reinheid." The idea is that babies need these three R's ("rest, regularity and cleanliness"). And to make sure they get them, the government's consultatiebureau - which monitors kids' growth and development - hands out a parent instruction manual. Some key takeaways: Give babies a predictable routine, limit outings to just once a day and prevent outside distractions, such as TV.
Staying home and doing the exact same thing all the time - and not even getting to binge-watch "Scandal"? That sounds like a total snooze. Because that's the point, Acosta and Hutchison explain. According to a study that compared child-rearing practices in the United States and the Netherlands, Dutch 6-month-olds slept two hours more each day than their American counterparts. Plus, the authors add, "the idea of the parent-infant 'sleep struggle,' ubiquitous among both Americans and the British, was not an issue for the Dutch."
Digging deeper into this magic, a Dutch pediatrician offers an intriguing view on rest. He describes a common scenario: Your child wakes up with a fever at the crack of dawn, you need to get to work, and everyone in the family is on edge. How about instead, "you decide to take a sick day and go with the flow"? The baby "will be much calmer," the doctor says. "You can just pick up your child, take her into bed with you and stay relaxed until her temperature goes down. If the mother is stressed, the child will be stressed, and that will make matters worse."
True enough, but what if you're out of sick leave and can't take the day off?
Such concerns just aren't very Dutch. As Acosta and Hutchison point out, nearly half of the country's population works part-time, and even people in full-time jobs are at the office only 36 hours per week. A telling anecdote comes from the American professors behind that two-hour sleep-gap study. When they were collecting data in the Netherlands, they realized they needed a few extra interviews with Dutch families. But their Dutch research assistants refused to help them with any additional tasks: They had no more time allotted for work.
It's this work-life balance that seems more responsible for the country's happiness than any specific parenting technique. It's how men are able to schedule a regular papadag (or "daddy day") to spend quality time with their kids. It's why it's not a struggle to get the entire family together for both breakfast and dinner. It's what allows for relaxed, extended vacations.
After a few chapters, it becomes clear that it's not really moms and dads who need to adopt "the Dutch way." The conclusion (titled "Let's Start a Revolution") lays much of the responsibility on "the state itself." Want to instill Dutch-style independence? Build a vast network of safe bike lanes. Wish kids were less anxious about grades? Overhaul the school system to make it less competitive.
Reading this, American parents should probably just acknowledge that we will not be raising Dutch children - no matter how many cargo bicycles we own - unless we move to the Netherlands.
But Acosta and Hutchison won't let us off the hook entirely. There are tip boxes with bullet-pointed suggestions such as "set ground rules" and "praise good behavior." There's a collection of low-key Dutch birthday party ideas, including "a snow party." This involves waiting until it snows and then having a party. For breakfast, they endorse the Dutch tradition of serving toast "piled high" with butter and chocolate sprinkles.
It all sounds quite quaint - as the authors describe it, "a childhood from black-and-white photographs."
And perhaps therein is the key to our obsession with this genre: a yearning for simplicity. Add to that a dash of insecurity and guilt. Has modern American life somehow erased our parental instincts? Is our ignorance harming our children?
My husband and I didn't need a book to stir up such thoughts. When we moved from Washington to Florence, Italy, in the summer of 2015 with our 5-month-old, we had never considered our parenting style particularly American - whatever that means - until our plane landed.
Then, mamma mia! We bristled at the parade of random strangers tickling our daughter's feet. She apparently never wore enough clothes - one woman reprimanded us for not having her in a scarf in August. Our new pediatrician deemed her 8 p.m. bedtime way too early and suggested introducing solid food in the form of a veggie soup sprinkled with Parmesan cheese.
Slurping her delicious leftovers, it was hard not to wonder whether I had been doing this parenting thing all wrong.
I was beginning to toy with the idea of investing in a baby scarf collection when I struck up a conversation with a Norwegian mom at my daughter's day care. She complained that kids in Italy don't get to nap outside, which is standard practice in Norway, even in the snow. (Acosta and Hutchison report that some Dutch day-care centers are following this trend and are installing "special insulated outdoor cribs.")
What dawned on me in that moment - and what any reader will learn after country-hopping through enough of these books - is that there's an entire planet's worth of parenting wisdom. Following all of it would be like trying to hunt down every stray Lego in the house - impossible, and perhaps foolish.
Of course there's still value in learning about how things work in other countries. For instance, I'm now a believer in that multi-course meal trick from "Bringing Up Bebe": Serve cut-up fruit first at breakfast, and do the same with veggies for lunch and dinner. The healthy stuff ends up getting eaten instead of pushed aside. "The Danish Way of Parenting" has me practicing my ability to "reframe," which is apparently what Danes do whenever dealing with anything negative. (Like their weather.) The idea is to face the facts but give them the most optimistic spin possible. My Italian experience has taught me that although baby scarves may not be necessary - particularly in a Mediterranean climate - they're kind of adorable.
And from "The Happiest Kids in the World," I've picked up a Dutch mantra: "Doe maar gewoon dan doe je al gek genoeg." In other words, Acosta and Hutchison explain, "Just act normal, that's crazy enough," or "Calm down."
For American parents reading too many of these books, that may be the most important advice of all.
---
Hallett, a former Washington Post reporter, is a freelance writer in Florence, Italy.
Sign up for the TodayCOs WorldView Newsletter The Washington Post.
Source Citation (MLA 8th Edition)
Hallett, Vicky. "Book World: The key to raising happy kids? The latest trend says do as the Dutch do." Washington Post, 6 Apr. 2017. General OneFile, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?p=ITOF&sw=w&u=schlager&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA488709181&it=r&asid=94a37212ec0ec0110d8f2a05833c7dd1. Accessed 25 Sept. 2017.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A488709181
More chores plus more risks equals happy kids: Why Dutch children are the happiest in the world
A 2013 Unicef study found that Dutch children are ‘the happiest in the world’
The Netherlands has a reputation for being a liberal country
There is a secret though: the Dutch are actually fairly conservative people
By Helen Brown For The Daily Mail
Published: 22:04 BST, 12 January 2017 | Updated: 01:20 BST, 13 January 2017
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THE HAPPIEST KIDS IN THE WORLD
by Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison (Doubleday £14.99)
Considering 2016 was the year Brits embraced the cosy Danish concept of hygge, then 2017 may be the year in which we tire of candles and adopt the rougher and readier Dutch version: gezelligheid.
For while hygge has been hijacked to flog cashmere blankets and luxury log burners, gezelligheid, according to Michele Hutchison, a British writer who moved to the Netherlands in 2004, is simply ‘a biscuit tin on a table and a mug of coffee. It’s hot chocolate or pea soup and the sound of lively chatter with anoraks drying in the hall’.
She also thinks it’s the key to explaining why a 2013 Unicef study found that Dutch children are ‘the happiest in the world’. British kids came a lowly 16th.
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Joy of being Dutch: The freedom to play
In this entertaining new book, co-written with another expat mum, Rina Mae Acosta, Hutchison says that: ‘The Netherlands has a reputation for being a liberal country with a tolerance of sex, drugs and alcohol, yet beneath this lies a closely guarded secret: the Dutch are actually fairly conservative people. At the heart of Dutch culture is a society of home-loving people who place the child firmly at the centre.
‘Parents have a healthy attitude towards their kids, seeing them as individuals rather than as extensions of themselves. They understand that achievement doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness, but that happiness can cultivate achievement.’
The duo’s book on the joys of going Dutch will be a relief to any parents who felt shamed by Pamela Druckerman’s 2012 paean to formal Gallic childrearing, French Children Don’t Throw Food. There’s a very funny passage in which the authors cringe at the noisy, sprawling games their kids enjoy on a French beach while the local children all sit quietly on their towels. But they also pity those perfect French children raised as ‘mini adults’, who miss out on delights and empowering life lessons learned through free-range play.
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I’m always taking my young children through the woods at dusk and across beaches in the snow. But this summer I was aggressively reprimanded by a local man for swimming with them in a river at a spot recommended by the UK’s Wild Swimming Society. He told me they were likely to die of Weil’s disease. I knew they stood more chance of being killed in a car accident.
In Holland, kids swim and play outdoors unsupervised all the time. They are expected to make realistic risk assessments, and become hardy and independent; to get muddy, then do their own laundry.
Lured to the Low Countries by their Dutch husbands, both authors admit that at first they struggled with the blunt earthiness of the culture and grey, wet weather. But then they discovered their own stress levels dropping in a society which expects them to speak their minds and bicycle everywhere in all weathers. No surprise this is also a recipe for relaxed, healthy kids.
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THE HAPPIEST KIDS IN THE WORLD by Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison (Doubleday £14.99)
Much of this is common sense. We all know pushing kids too hard and suppressing individuality creates anxiety. Acosta herself knows this from personal experience. Born and bred in San Francisco, the child of self-sacrificing Filipino parents who worked 24/7 to give her an excellent education, she feels her childhood was ‘more endured than enjoyed’.
Her friends back in the U.S. report that things are even worse these days as pre-schoolers battling for places at the ‘right’ nurseries are asked: ‘So, what have you done with the first 36 months of your life?’
Things are not quite so bad in the UK but we also are guilty of piling on the pressure.
Academic education doesn’t begin in Dutch schools until after kids turn six. Dutch kids are never pushed to be the best, they are constantly reassured that ‘a six out of ten is good enough’. Despite this apparent lack of aspiration, and the chocolate sprinkles that Dutch kids all eat for breakfast, Netherlanders do very well in the world. Holland boasts 21 Nobel Prize winners and Dutch inventors haven given the world the CD, the DVD, Bluetooth and wi-fi.
Although the book was written before either author’s children hit puberty, both women are looking forward to relatively stress-free teenage years.
The relaxed, but fully informed attitudes to sex, drugs and alcohol in Holland yields remarkably well-adjusted young people. Their low rates of teen pregnancy, drug abuse and binge drinking put us to shame.
I would say all parents should read this book. But perhaps that’s just piling on unnecessary, Brit-style pressure. Maybe you should just go out for a bike ride with your kids in the rain then open the biscuits. Gezellig!
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/books/article-4114466/More-chores-plus-risks-equals-happy-kids-Dutch-children-happiest-world.html#ixzz4tfpbuSGA
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