Project and content management for Contemporary Authors volumes
WORK TITLE: I Liked My Life
WORK NOTES:
PSEUDONYM(S):
BIRTHDATE:
WEBSITE: http://www.abbyfabiaschi.com/
CITY: West Hartford
STATE: CT
COUNTRY:
NATIONALITY:
Lives in West Hartford, CT, and Park City, UT * http://www.abbyfabiaschi.com/about/ * http://flavorwire.com/598592/the-sweetest-debut-abby-fabiaschi-on-this-is-us-and-the-potential-of-melania-fanfiction
RESEARCHER NOTES:
LC control no.: n 2017002708
LCCN Permalink: https://lccn.loc.gov/n2017002708
HEADING: Fabiaschi, Abby
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670 __ |a I liked my life, 2017: |b CIP t.p. (Abby Fabiaschi) data view (“ABBY FABIASCHI graduated from The Taft School in 1998 and Babson College in 2002. From there she climbed the corporate ladder in high technology until resigning at the end of 2012 to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming an author. Now Abby and her family divide their time between Tampa, Florida and Park City, Utah. When not writing or watching the comedy show that is her children, she enjoys reading across genres, skiing, hiking, and yoga; I LIKED MY LIFE is her first novel”)
PERSONAL
Married; children: two.
EDUCATION:Babson College, graduated, 2002.
ADDRESS
CAREER
Writer. Previously, worked in technology. Her Future Coalition, director of board.
AVOCATIONS:Yoga, hiking, skiing, reading, traveling.
WRITINGS
SIDELIGHTS
Abby Fabiaschi is a writer and director of a nonprofit organization called Her Future Coalition. Previously, she worked in technology.
In 2017 Fabiaschi released her first novel, I Liked My Life. She summarized the book’s plot in an interview with Sarah Seltzer on the Flavor Wire Web site, stating: “I Liked My Life is the empowering story of a family forced to redefine itself after a devoted stay-at-home wife and mother commits suicide. Her husband and teenage daughter are left heartbroken and reeling. How could the exuberant, exacting woman they loved disappear so abruptly, seemingly without reason, from their lives? As they sift through details of her last days, trying to understand the woman they thought they knew, Brady and Eve come to terms with unsettling truths.” Fabiaschi told a contributor to the Bookish Web site: “I really wanted to represent the nuances among different kinds of grief. This book started as my desire to explore grieving at that tender age when you can turn inward and go all in, versus as an adult who has responsibilities—not only work and financial responsibilities, but also to help other people grieve. And I wanted to explore the differences between men and women and how they grieve. I got the most unfortunate front row seat to it when my father passed away.” Fabiaschi continued: “My husband was very close with my dad, and I saw that we grieve differently. There are layers and complexities that affect how a person grieves. It can be your gender. It can be your age. It can be your financial situation. It can be whether it is pure grief or guilt and grief, which is a whole extra layer. I wanted to explore that and see it from the lenses of all of these different people.”
In I Liked My Life, Brady and his daughter, Eve, grapple with Maddy’s suicide. Maddy, Eve’s mother and Brady’s wife, is one of the book’s narrators. She observes Eve’s plans to make her dad fall in love with a schoolteacher named Rory. Eve believes Rory would be a good match for Brady because she has experienced trauma, too. Eve and Brady, both grieving in different ways, feel disconnected from one another and are unsure of how to support one another. Eve reads a diary Maddy had written and considers writing herself. She discovers a powerful secret in the journal.
A Kirkus Reviews critic praised the earlier sections of the book, but noted: “This universal poignancy is undercut by plot devices, some melodramatic and some simply unnecessary.” The critic concluded by describing the book as “an earnest effort from a natural storyteller.” “It’s hard to grieve along with Eve and Brady, and the disparate plot elements don’t fully come together,” remarked a Publishers Weekly writer. Virginia Pasley, a contributor to the Washington Independent Review of Books Web site, also criticized the book’s ending, stating: “Some readers may think the wait wasn’t worth it. Despite this, I Liked My Life makes a strong case for thinking about how well we can really know anyone and, in doing so, offers an important reminder of how easily even our deepest convictions can be shaken.” Reviewing the book in Library Journal, Catherine Coyne commented: “Simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming, this hard-to-put-down, engrossing debut will have readers wondering until the very end.” Kim Curtis, contributor to the Tulsa World Web site, suggested: “The ending … is entirely unexpected. All in all, I Liked My Life is an impossible-to-put-down and impressive debut.” A critic on the It’s Book Talk Web site asserted: “This is an ultimately uplifting story of forgiveness…of oneself and others…of vulnerability…of finding light amongst the darkness…and of love…finding it as well as losing it. The narration is brilliantly told.”
BIOCRIT
PERIODICALS
Kirkus Reviews, November 1, 2016, review of I Liked My Life.
Library Journal, November 15, 2016, Catherine Coyne, review of I Liked My Life, p. 76.
Publishers Weekly, October 10, 2016, review of I Liked My Life, p. 53.
ONLINE
Abby Fabiaschi Website, http://www.abbyfabiaschi.com (July 13, 2017).
Bookish, https://www.bookish.com/ (May 11, 2017), author interview.
Flavor Wire, http://flavorwire.com/ (January 31, 2017), Sarah Seltzer, author interview.
It’s Book Talk, https://itsbooktalk.com/ (March 1, 2017), review of I Liked My Life.
Macmillan Website, https://us.macmillan.com/ (June 28, 2017), author profile.
Mom Advice, http://www.momadvice.com/ (February 12, 2017), Amy Allen Clark, author interview.
Tulsa World Online, http://www.tulsaworld.com/ (March 5, 2017), Kim Curtis, review of I Liked My Life.
Washington Independent Review of Books, http://www.washingtonindependentreviewofbooks.com/ (February 2, 2017), Virginia Pasley, review of I Liked My Life.
Washington Times Online, http://www.washingtontimes.com/ (February 21, 2017), Kim Curtis, review of I Liked My Life.*
After graduating from The Taft School in 1998 and Babson College in 2002, Abby climbed the corporate ladder in high technology. When her children turned three and four in what felt like one season, she resigned to pursue writing. I Liked My Life (St. Martin’s Press) is her debut novel.
Abby is a human rights advocate interested in economic solutions to social/cultural problems. She is Director of the Board for Her Future Coalition, formerly Made By Survivors, an international nonprofit with a unique prosperity model that uplifts victims from human trafficking and extreme abuse. You can learn more about her practice of systematic giving here.
She and her family divide their time between West Hartford, Connecticut and Park City, Utah. When not writing or watching the comedy show that is her children, she enjoys reading across genres, skiing, and hiking. Oh, and travel. Who doesn’t love vacation?
ABBY FABIASCHI is a human rights advocate on the board for Her Future Coalition, an international nonprofit organization with a unique prosperity model that uplifts victims from human trafficking and extreme abuse. In 2012 Abby resigned from her executive post in high tech to pursue a career in writing. I Liked My Life is her first novel. She and her family divide their time between West Hartford, CT and Park City, UT.
SUNDAYS WITH WRITERS
Sundays With Writers: I Liked My Life by Abby Fabiaschi
Sundays With Writers
When I picked up I Liked My Life, I thought it would be a light escape between my heavy historical fiction picks last month. What I never expected though was how much this book would move me and make me consider my own interactions in my life. I saw so much of myself and my life reflected in these well-woven characters. Then I learned more of Abby Fabiaschi and her activism as a human rights advocate and commitment to use proceeds from her incredible book to support the causes she cares about and it became important to me to share her journey with you.
I knew Abby had so much she could teach me (and maybe you!) about writing her first book and more about her passion for human rights. In this difficult political climate, I’m so moved by stories of good people. Living our family motto this year of finding the good, I am thrilled to share more about the good that Abby is doing in the world and how we have the power to be the good too.
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I Liked My Life by Abby Fabiaschi
Honestly, if I was going to pick a book that surprised me the most last month (check out last month’s stack of must-reads!!), I Liked My Life would be it! The idea for this story sounded horribly depressing. A mother commits suicide and her family is left to pick up the pieces… but it is so much more than that!
Fabiaschi writes this story in a way where the mother, Maddy, is still there and able to manipulate her family members into doing what she needs them to do by speaking to them through their thought streams. From helping them find better solutions to deal with her death, to guiding friendships, and even finding her replacement. Her presence and voice is one of the alternating chapters in this novel, along with the voices of her husband and teenage daughter.
Each character reflects back on the good and the bad that has happened in their lives in real moments that mimic your own. The petty fights, the difficulty as a mom to make every day special for your family (while no one makes the effort for you), and the struggles of mother and daughter relationships. I could see so many of of my own struggles in this character, making Maddy real and relatable.
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Heartbreaking at times, laugh out loud funny at others, I doubt you would pick this one up and not get something out of it. I am committed to no spoilers, but want you to know the ending is quite satisfying as a reader!
Grab your coffee and let’s learn more about Abby and her fantastic debut!
Abby Fabiaschi
Congratulations on publishing your first book! What an incredible accomplishment for you and your family. Why did you decide to leave the corporate world and pursue writing and how long was the process of getting published?
When I started writing I Liked My Life I was working 60/70 hour weeks in high tech and pounding away at my keyboard nights and weekends. At the time, I could balance my hobby, my work, and my marriage. Then I got a third and fourth job named Page and Parker, 11 months apart, and something had to give. Writing time was replaced with diapers and cuddles and ear infections.
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When my kids turned three and four in what felt like one season, I resigned from the corporate scene. It was time. Most of the alpha males I worked with found it insane to ditch a lucrative post for something with a .2% success rate, but it wasn’t about getting published for me. I needed a lifestyle change, and I was fortunate: with spending changes, my husband’s career could support our family.
The book sold about two years after becoming a fulltime writer.
Her Future Coalition
Before we dive into the plot, I’d love to share about your mission to donate a portion of the proceeds to survivors of human trafficking and your volunteerism as a human rights advocate. Can you tell us more about this important cause and why this is of importance to you?
After resigning from the corporate world, my family right-sized our lifestyle to accommodate the loss of income. When we were off and running on our new salary, I realized that nothing of substance had changed. As “they” say: The most important things in life aren’t things. My husband and I agreed that if anything were to come of my writing we would donate a fifth of it systematically. Now, twenty percent of my after-tax proceeds, including foreign and film rights, are donated to charities benefiting women and children.
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I’m passionate about economic solutions to severe social and cultural problems such as human trafficking, domestic abuse, and child marriage. As board chair for Her Future Coalition, I get to see the success of this approach firsthand. Fiscal independence is a powerful tool—providing training, education, and employment is an effective way to help victims remain forever free. If you’re interested in donating or learning more, visit www.herfuturecoalition.org.
In the same vein, I think you are also such a great example of someone who has found a way to prioritize charity by adjusting your lifestyle to put money towards those in need. Do you have any tips for putting money or time towards the causes we truly care about while doing the mom juggle?
I recommend adopting a cause. After reading Half the Sky, I felt a tremendous call to action to fight human trafficking. There were practically trumpets playing in the background as I started researching the different ways to get involved.
When you find an organization that supports your passion, think of how your skill set and connections can be leveraged to their benefit. If you offer up what you’re already proficient at, it’s easier to efficiently add value.
From a donation perspective, there’s a tradition I love: every year for holidays and birthdays give your children a check to donate to the charity of their choice. This turns giving time into family time, and plants the seed of altruism.
I understand it was your own experience with death, at the age of 15, which gave you the idea to explore the mourning process through this coming-of-age story. Do you then see yourself in both Eve, from your teenage years, and in her mother, Maddy, now as an adult? Has it been therapeutic to reflect on this?
I Liked My Life was written as a way to unburden my loss onto unsuspecting characters, so yes, therapeutic is the right word.
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The first draft was completed when I was twenty-four. I had no children; I’d been married all of five months at its inception. I wrote from three intertwining perspectives—mother, daughter, and father—but given the extent of my life experience, only the daughter’s section was relatable.
Years after that first draft, my father died of a heart attack at fifty-three. When I revisited the manuscript, I was a mother two times over who’d grieved as an adult, side by side my husband of eight years. It was then that the mother and father’s section came to life.
Age, gender roles, personality types, financial obligations, these all change the way tragedy is digested. I Liked My Life isn’t about mourning generally, it’s about the reality that we must grieve around others who are also grieving, and the loss can at times feel competitive.
You write about marriage in such a relatable way. Those silly petty fights and frustrations make for a real and true portrait of marriage. Do you think illustrating this helped shape Brady’s story more and his own emotional hurdles of forgiving himself?
I’m now thirteen years into my marriage and I see the layers of it with more clarity. There’s the daily grind—the back and forth where I know I’m loved but sometimes don’t feel appreciated. There’s tests—darker times where I question if I’m understood at all. And there’s nuggets—moments where the value of my role in the family is revealed and validated.
The more interesting thing to realize is that the same ebb and flow holds true for my husband. I don’t think either of us fully fathoms what the other accomplishes and carries in a day, and I no longer think we have to in order to be happy.
In I Liked My Life Brady arrives at this same conclusion in stages. Each revelation is accompanied by a different emotion: anger, guilt, sadness, and, ultimately, acceptance.
Why was it important to have Maddy’s voice be such a big part of your story and how much fun was it, as the writer, to have her manipulating plot points in the book?
With Maddy, I looked to put words to the connection I still feel with loved ones I’ve lost after their physical time with me is over. As I wrote, at times I felt the people I miss so much cheering me on, so the joy in creating Maddy’s voice was personally meaningful to me.
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As a reader, I found myself walking away with a heightened sense of consciousness about my interactions with my loved ones and how important they are, even when you sometimes feel unnoticed as a mom. What feelings do you hope your readers come away with from reading this story?
I’ve been in book clubs for over a decade and have learned that a reader’s takeaway is unique to their experience, past and present. For me, I take comfort in the knowledge that if you can rise above the fog and haze of grief, there are slivers of beauty in life’s most agonizing moments. The challenge is that anything gleaned is at the expense of your loss—and it will never be worth it—so you have to accept the injustice of that.
Did you or do you have anything special planned in celebration of your first book being out on bookshelves? Will you be taking some time off or are you on to the next book?
I have more of a what’s next? personality. Right now I am all in on promoting I LIKED MY LIFE. I worked hard to get this opportunity and I want to do everything I can to help get it in the hands of readers.
My second novel, tentatively titled WHATEVER HAPPENED TO LUCY BISCARO?, should be out with St. Martin’s Press in the winter of 2018. It explores the polarizing hold that memories can have on us, and how every decision we make is layered with our past experiences.
I Liked My Life by Abby Fabiaschi
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I’m always thankful for these moments with writers and I hope you will pick up this amazing book! You can always connect with me on GoodReads, through our books section of our site, and you can read our entire Sundays With Writers series for more author profiles. Happy reading, friends!
QUOTED: "I Liked My Life is the empowering story of a family forced to redefine itself after a devoted stay-at-home wife and mother commits suicide. Her husband and teenage daughter are left heartbroken and reeling. How could the exuberant, exacting woman they loved disappear so abruptly, seemingly without reason, from their lives? As they sift through details of her last days, trying to understand the woman they thought they knew, Brady and Eve come to terms with unsettling truths."
The Sweetest Debut: Abby Fabiaschi on ‘This is Us’ and the Potential of Melania Fanfiction
Books | By Sarah Seltzer | January 31, 2017
Welcome to The Sweetest Debut, a regular installment in which we reach out to debut fiction, poetry and nonfiction authors working with presses of all sizes and find out about their pop culture diets, their writing habits, and their fan-fiction fantasies.
Abby Fabiaschi’s I Liked My Life skirts both sides of the grave to explore the effect of grief on a family whose mother has been lost to suicide — but whose ghost hovers around her loved ones. She spoke to us about watching This is Us on the treadmill and obsessing over Melania Trump.
What is your elevator pitch to folks in the industry describing your book?
I Liked My Life is the empowering story of a family forced to redefine itself after a devoted stay-at-home wife and mother commits suicide. Her husband and teenage daughter are left heartbroken and reeling. How could the exuberant, exacting woman they loved disappear so abruptly, seemingly without reason, from their lives? As they sift through details of her last days, trying to understand the woman they thought they knew, Brady and Eve come to terms with unsettling truths.abby-fabiaschi-credit-nina-subin
What do you tell your relatives it’s about?
It depends on the relative… I have warned the oldest generation that some of the characters use alarming language. To which the strictest elder said, “Oh no, Abby. Now why would you go and do a thing like that?”
To the rest of my crew I talk about I Liked My Life as an exploration of motherhood and mourning.
How long was this project marinating in a draft or in your head before it became a book deal?
A decade, but I was working a fulltime day job during most of it.
Name a canonical book you think is totally overrated.
The Catcher in the Rye. The writing was genius, no doubt, but even in high school I considered Holden Caulfield a whiner.
How about a book you’ve read more than two times?
Classic: To Kill a Mockingbird; Contemporary: Elizabeth Strout’s My Name is Lucy Barton; Educational: Stephen King’s On Writing.
What’s a book or other piece of art that influenced your writing for this particular project?
I was inspired by a sentiment from Adrienne Rich’s poetry: If we could learn to learn from pain even as it grasps us. Isn’t that a powerful thought? I am a believer that slivers of beauty exist in life’s most antagonizing moments, if only you know where to look. With I Liked My Life, I set out with three characters—Madeline, Eve, and Brady—as they learn exactly that, each in their own way.
What’s your favorite show to binge watch when you’re not writing?
I only watch TV when I work out. Right now I’m spellbound by This is Us. As a mother through adoption, the show has captured my heart and mind. I sob through each episode—it’s a good thing I’m on an elliptical in my basement and not at a gym.
What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?
Pete’s Dragon. I haven’t been to a grown up movie in years. It’s hard to justify paying a babysitter for something you could be doing at home while the kids sleep.
Do you listen to music while you’re writing? If so, what kind?
Nope. I like pure silence or tons of busy background noise (like at a café). When tunes are on I tend to focus on the song instead of my project.
Who is your fashion icon?
Ha! My new goal in life is to get one.
If you could buy a house anywhere in the world just to write in, where would it be?
Tuscany. My cousin got married there a few years ago and I fell in love.
What did you initially want to be when you grew up?
A poet. From second grade on you could count on there being a written poem folded up in my pocket in case anyone showed interest.
Did you have a new years resolution for 2017? If so, what?
I’m board chair for an amazing organization (www.herfuturecoalition.org) that has spent over a decade providing shelter, education, and employment to survivors of human trafficking. My goal this year is to double the number of education scholarships we can provide.
What freaks you out the most about four years of Trump as US President?
I worry our service people will be deployed over tensions that could and should be handled with diplomacy. I have this terrible fear that World War III will be Americans defending Trump’s ego.
Do you prefer a buzzing coffee shop or a silent library?
I can’t possibly choose; they are my two favorite places. It would be like picking between eggplant parm and homemade peanut butter ice cream.
Do you write at a desk, bed or couch?
Desk.
Is morning writing or late-night writing your go-to-time?
I write five hours a day, but late-night is my most productive creatively. (Perhaps because it’s done with a glass of wine.)
Do you tend towards writing it all out in one big messy draft and then editing, or perfecting as you go (or something in between)?
I start without a defined plot, so it’s messy until I find the story. Once I have that, I tend to edit a bit as I go, but there are always several front to back revisions at the end.
How do you pay the bills, if not solely by your pen and your wit?
I have another half who is smart as a whip and has a job with great benefits. He even helps with the house stuff. I call him Kevin from Heaven.
If you could write fanfiction about any pop culture character, real or imagined, who would it be?
Melania Trump. Oh my heart, there’s too much to work with there. Did you know she speaks five languages? She strikes me as equal parts complicated and simple. I think she married a man for money with the understanding that she’d have to put out when he was not traveling for work; it seemed like a reasonable trade. You don’t marry Donald Trump thinking he has potential to be POTUS.
I bet Melania spends a lot of time thinking, “this is not what I signed up for.”
QUOTED: "I really wanted to represent the nuances among different kinds of grief. This book started as my desire to explore grieving at that tender age when you can turn inward and go all in, versus as an adult who has responsibilities—not only work and financial responsibilities, but also to help other people grieve. And I wanted to explore the differences between men and women and how they grieve. I got the most unfortunate front row seat to it when my father passed away."
"My husband was very close with my dad, and I saw that we grieve differently. There are layers and complexities that affect how a person grieves. It can be your gender. It can be your age. It can be your financial situation. It can be whether it is pure grief or guilt and grief, which is a whole extra layer. I wanted to explore that and see it from the lenses of all of these different people."
Abby Fabiaschi on Grief, Rejection, and Gratitude
ArticlesAuthorsFictionMyfanwy Collins May 11, 2017 0
Abby Fabiaschi’s debut novel, I Liked My Life, began as a cathartic exercise. She sought to channel her own grief over the loss of a friend into a story of characters experiencing a similar trauma. Ten years later, Fabiaschi returned to the draft and began shaping it into the novel it is today. We caught up with Fabiaschi this April at the Newburyport Literary Festival to talk about how loss in her own life has shaped her into the mother, human rights advocate, and writer she is today.
PREVIEW
Bookish: Grief is not only a subject but it also seems to be a character at points within this novel. Was that an intentional reflection of the heavy presence that grief has in the lives of those experiencing it?
Abby Fabiaschi: I love the idea that grief is its own character in the book. I never heard it worded that way. People say time heals all wounds and that hasn’t been my experience. I feel like grief is with you always and then it becomes familiar and that’s the best you can hope for. I think it’s omnipresent for people who have lost a major person in their lives. It’s not just death. It’s divorce. It’s friendships. It’s when you have somebody who played a role that was integral and part of your day to day life. It’s a person that you needed and no one can ever fill the spot exactly as it was left. That puzzle piece is just going to be gone. So I do think it’s forever present. It’s a depressing thought to say, but I don’t think it goes away. The most you can hope for is that you become comfortable with it.
Bookish: I read that you went through a great deal of personal trauma at a young age. How did those experiences influence the way you wrote about pain and loss in this book?
AF: I lost a close friend when I was 15. I became distant from the things I used to care about; all of a sudden that stuff didn’t matter to me at all. I saw that there was a bigger picture and that made me cynical. I started looking around and thinking, “Everyone has a private hell that they’re hiding.” The world became very dark. Then when I was 16 or 17, I happened across a piece of poetry by Adrienne Rich that said, “If we could learn to learn from pain even as it grasps us.” It had a profound impact on my life because I recognized that I wasn’t doing that. I realized that the loss and pain I’d gone through was going to permanently damage my life. This idea of post-traumatic growth—that something good could come out of pain—was really eye-opening to me. Over time, I became a big believer that there is insight and beauty in life’s most agonizing moments. It’s hard because it’s at the expense of whatever you lost and it will never be worth it. You have to come to terms with the injustice of that.
Bookish: Does grief transform?
AF: Yes… it evolves. At the beginning you really can’t imagine how you’re going to go on. Then you start to realize that you have no choice—especially grieving as an adult or as a mother. When I lost my father, I had 70-hour-a-week job and a four-month-old baby and I was pregnant. As a teenager, I had the ability to turn inward and grieve and mourn. As an adult, your alarm goes off and you have to get up. You have responsibilities. Over time you become familiar with it and you start a relationship with it.
One of the questions I get asked most often is, do I think the relationship you have with people after they are gone is real. I don’t know if it’s real. I’ve never been dead. I know I feel it. I feel the energy and guidance of the people I’ve lost at times. When I’m thinking about something that would be bold but worthwhile, I feel like I get a shiver of encouragement. When I’m going to be doing something that I would maybe not be proud of, I can feel my father’s eyebrows raise inside of me. I won’t know if it’s real until I’m on the other side, but I’ve stopped questioning it because it brings comfort to that missing piece and allows that transformation to take place.
Bookish: You wrote in rotating points of view, going from the dead mother to the angry and grief-stricken daughter to the aggrieved and dumbstruck father. What made you take this choice?
AF: I really wanted to represent the nuances among different kinds of grief. This book started as my desire to explore grieving at that tender age when you can turn inward and go all in, versus as an adult who has responsibilities—not only work and financial responsibilities, but also to help other people grieve. And I wanted to explore the differences between men and women and how they grieve. I got the most unfortunate front row seat to it when my father passed away. My husband was very close with my dad, and I saw that we grieve differently. There are layers and complexities that affect how a person grieves. It can be your gender. It can be your age. It can be your financial situation. It can be whether it is pure grief or guilt and grief, which is a whole extra layer. I wanted to explore that and see it from the lenses of all of these different people.
Bookish: Which voice was your favorite?
AF: I wrote the very first draft of this book when I was 24. It really was meant to be cathartic—a way to unburden my grief at the loss of my friend into these unsuspecting characters. At that time, Eve was the one who was the catalyst for the book and the one I felt most comfortable writing. The book sat on my computer and then years after my father died I happened across it. I saw the title and I felt that it would be a good time to revisit it. By then I had grieved as an adult and I grieved alongside my husband. I had been married for ten years, which helps to represent marriage and what can happen over that much time. When I wrote the second time, I really was more attuned and plugged in to Maddy and Brady. I worked how Brady worked, those 70-hour weeks. I had that lifestyle and the sense of how easy it was to lose touch with your day to day, to have your self-worth become your work. But also I was a mother and so I had a much better understanding of what I would need my children to know if I left too soon. As I wrote that second draft, that’s when the adult voices came to life. I don’t know that I could have captured them as a 24-year-old.
Bookish: Which voice was the hardest to write?
AF: Having never been dead myself, Maddy was challenging to write. The flaw of the book, that I needed someone to point out to me, was this other hoverer named Robin, who was helping Maddy. I got this note from this person I had never met that said: “Nobody gives a shit about Robin. Further, the story is about Brady and Eve. The Maddy story is over, and so when you’re using that character, she has to move their story forward. Otherwise it’s just a distraction.” It was hard for me to pull Robin out, but once I did it just opened up the book. You need that person who sees that something is pulling the story down. You needed the person who would say: It’s Robin. I had felt a need to tell readers what the afterlife is, but I didn’t have to do that. This book is not religious. It’s not meant to be religious. It should work for everyone. It’s open. Describing the afterlife was unrealistic and distracting to the story.
Bookish: I Liked My Life is your first novel. What has the process of bringing your book out into the world taught you?
AF: Publishing is such a challenging industry to break into, and I’m so grateful. I feel like every writer has their story of rejection. I had a great agent who I had secured for a different novel that was never published. When I wrote this years later, I went to that agent and she hated this book. It didn’t resonate with her. She was not a mother by choice; both her parents were still alive; nothing took to her in the story. So I was fired by my own agent, which I didn’t even know was a thing. She was very gracious. She said there was a woman in her office who loved the book but found some flaws. My agent gave me her colleague’s notes, and those notes she gave me were invaluable. They are the reason this book got published.
This also prepared me for the reality of this industry which is that this is art and it is subject to opinion. It will not capture everyone’s attention. I have been so overjoyed by the press, but the reality is that you get the reviews where someone says, “why is everyone talking about this book?” I learned that really early on. When I did that final revision and went to the seven agents I thought were at her caliber, all the agents got back to me. Then it went to auction and four houses competed for it. It was this really beautiful thing. Ten years of effort and lots of rejection, but then when it went it went in this beautiful way. I’ve been really humbled by this industry. There’re all of these hoops and you start to see that maybe there’s a reason for them. This book needed ten years of work. Are we probably missing some great books? Yes, we probably are. It is a craft that can take a lot of time.
Bookish: Is there anything you would do differently?
AF: Yes. In general, I feel like if you say you wouldn’t do anything differently, then you’re probably not pausing to look back and debrief. I’m still a little bit in the thick of it. I haven’t gone into full decompression. But I would say that what I would do is worry less. I took away some of the joy of the accomplishment by worrying. I had been warned by several wonderful authors not to get involved in reviews. You get five stars and you feel so good and then all of a sudden a three star comes in. The truth is that the book is done and it is being published. I could have just experienced the joy of that process. Now, I separate and celebrate that it is on shelves. That time that I spent looking at those reviews was at the expense of my writing and of my confidence. There were days when I got great reviews and I’d go into my writing feeling great but then the days when I got lower reviews it impacted my writing. I need to just focus on the work. It’s what got me here and it will get me to the next book.
Bookish: As for that next book, can you tell us about it?
AF: It’s called Anything Helps, and it’s about a family that grew through adoption. In all of these different ways, they are forced to ask: What, if anything, do you owe the biological mother of your child? I really like books where nobody is wrong and where good people are in a pickle. It allows you to dig into the assumptions that are being made, the experiences, the challenges, the communications and miscommunications that make things harder. Those are the kinds of stories that I like to get into. I’m really excited about this book.
Bookish: Twenty percent of your after-tax proceeds go to charity. How else does your humanitarian side tie into your writing? Why are these two things entwined?
AF: They both happened at the same time in my life. I was in high technology for 11 years. When I resigned, I resigned with three things that I was going to replace that 70-hour a week job with: More time with my kids was definitely a big one. In terms of work, there was pursuing a career as a writer; I wanted to get published. And the third thing was that I wanted to give back in a meaningful way.
I have always been interested in economic solutions to cultural and social problems. I wanted to be involved in long-term solutions that allowed people to be fiscally independent and get out of the challenges that they were in, particularly around violence. I am the board chair for Her Future Coalition which provides shelter, education, and high-wage employment to survivors of human trafficking and extreme abuse. I was so excited about the idea of getting published, but I am most proud of this other work. It is one of those things that once you know you can not know. It’s there. It’s disturbing. And it’s solvable.
I was asked at a book club if I will ever write a novel about human trafficking, and I said I never thought about it or even considered it. I would be very nervous about ever exploiting what these women have gone through. If I ever did, all of the proceeds would have to go towards awareness of the issue. It’s become hugely personal to me. I have learned more from these girls and women than they have learned from me. They have taught me about resilience, about moving forward, about gratitude. The idea that someone who has been subjected to the vile things that these girls and women have been subjected to and then they can have a rebirth and go and start a career and be grateful for anything. That they have that ability to be grateful was a real teaching moment for me. It has influenced the way I parent and the way I act as a friend.
QUOTED: "Simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming, this hard-to-put-down, engrossing debut will have readers wondering until the very end."
Fabiaschi, Abby. I Liked My Life
Catherine Coyne
Library Journal.
141.19 (Nov. 15, 2016): p76.
COPYRIGHT 2016 Library Journals, LLC. A wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
http://www.libraryjournal.com/
Full Text:
* Fabiaschi, Abby. I Liked My Life. St. Martin's. Jan. 2017. 272p. ISBN 9781250084873. $25.99; ebk. ISBN 9781250084880. F
[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]
Maddy was a devoted mother and wife who seemed to have it all, until the day she stepped off the roof of the Wellesley College Library.
Gradually, through narration by Maddy, her 16-year-old daughter, Eve, and husband Brady, readers will discover the whole story. After the
tragedy, while still somewhere beyond, Maddy watches her loved ones and influences the living. She won't let go until she can find someone to
replace her in her family's lives. Brady and Eve, both struggling with grief and their private guilt, are unable to comfort each other. Slowly,
through the memories of the three narrators and entries from Maddy's journal, the truth is revealed. VERDICT Simultaneously heartbreaking and
heartwarming, this hard-to-put-down, engrossing debut will have readers wondering until the very end. It examines life and death, despair and
faith, parenthood and marriage, the choices we make, and, most of all, love--making it a perfect choice for book clubs.--Catherine Coyne,
Mansfield P.L., MA
Coyne, Catherine
Source Citation (MLA 8th
Edition)
Coyne, Catherine. "Fabiaschi, Abby. I Liked My Life." Library Journal, 15 Nov. 2016, p. 76+. General OneFile, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?
p=ITOF&sw=w&u=schlager&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA470367159&it=r&asid=3c09543279f173caaa47198f0b4ea035. Accessed 31 May
2017.
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Gale Document Number: GALE|A470367159
---
QUOTED: "This universal poignancy is undercut by plot devices, some melodramatic and
some simply unnecessary."
"an earnest effort from a natural storyteller."
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Fabiaschi, Abby: I LIKED MY LIFE
Kirkus Reviews.
(Nov. 1, 2016):
COPYRIGHT 2016 Kirkus Media LLC
http://www.kirkusreviews.com/
Full Text:
Fabiaschi, Abby I LIKED MY LIFE St. Martin's (Adult Fiction) $25.99 1, 31 ISBN: 978-1-250-08487-3
After her suicide, a mother hovers beyond life, observing her family and trying to help them move on.Maddy had shown no signs of suicidal
behavior and didn't leave a note; her life actually seemed pretty great, and in the passages she narrates from beyond the grave, she agrees (hence
the title). She adored her teenage daughter, Eve, and her hardworking husband, Brady. Though they had their share of fights, Maddy and her
family lived privileged, protected lives, a steep improvement from the neglectful households in which both Maddy and Brady were raised. The
mood is one of frustration: Maddy's frustration that she left her family in this horrible state of grief and, in their own narrative passages, Brady's
and Eve's frustration with the lack of answers. This is eased slightly when Maddy discovers that she can concentrate thoughts and energy down at
her loved ones to guide their behavior and remind them of her love. She also tries to matchmake Brady with a new woman so he and Eve can
again have a mother and wife. Meddling seems uncharacteristic of Maddy, but she has limited time in her interstitial state. Debut author
Fabiaschi's even tone and her characters' bright intelligence inspire empathy and, for the most part, keep the proceedings away from the maudlin.
Great pains are initially taken to explore the main theme: tragedy often has no reason, and those experiencing it must contend with the
reasonlessness as well as the loss. As the book goes on, however, this universal poignancy is undercut by plot devices, some melodramatic and
some simply unnecessary. But then, when one of the protagonists is a loving, helpful ghost, a certain amount of wishful thinking is part of the
deal. An earnest effort from a natural storyteller.
Source Citation (MLA 8th
Edition)
"Fabiaschi, Abby: I LIKED MY LIFE." Kirkus Reviews, 1 Nov. 2016. General OneFile, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?
p=ITOF&sw=w&u=schlager&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA468388938&it=r&asid=ca3c0bbbc726a33a7258560f33f45e1f. Accessed 31 May
2017.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A468388938
---
QUOTED: "It's hard to grieve along with Eve and Brady, and the disparate plot elements don't fully come together."
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I Liked My Life
Publishers Weekly.
263.41 (Oct. 10, 2016): p53.
COPYRIGHT 2016 PWxyz, LLC
http://www.publishersweekly.com/
Full Text:
I Liked My Life
Abby Fabiaschi. St. Martin's, $25.99 (272p) ISBN 978-1-250-08487-3
It's been two weeks since Maddy jumped off the roof of the Wellesley College library, leaving behind a husband, Brady, and a teenage daughter,
Eve. Narrating from beyond the grave, Maddy continues to watch over (and exert influence on) her family in the hope that she can help them
move past their grief. She's even picked out a new wife for Brady: Rory, an elementary school teacher who survived a terrible tragedy of her own.
Although Rory does indeed strike up a connection with both Eve and Brady in the months that follow, father and daughter will have to find their
own paths and reconnect with each other in order to move forward. Brady delves into a family secret from his own past; Eve copes with her
emotions through peeks at her mother's diary and becomes inspired to find a voice of her own. As Fabiaschi employs ever more convoluted
narrative machinations to hide a big twist at the end, the story loses the emotional impact it needs to maintain a connection with the reader. As
such, it's hard to grieve along with Eve and Brady, and the disparate plot elements don't fully come together. Jan.)
Source Citation (MLA 8th
Edition)
"I Liked My Life." Publishers Weekly, 10 Oct. 2016, p. 53. General OneFile, go.galegroup.com/ps/i.do?
p=ITOF&sw=w&u=schlager&v=2.1&id=GALE%7CA466616138&it=r&asid=7377dde24d0f2f1f2f166063bafc48fe. Accessed 31 May
2017.
Gale Document Number: GALE|A466616138
Kim Curtis
The novel “I Liked My Life” begins with Madeline, its main character, assessing a potential new wife for her husband, Brady. It’s immediately clear she’s dead and speaking from a sort of limbo afterlife.
Within a dozen pages, readers learn that Maddy killed herself by jumping off a building, leaving no note, no explanation, nothing that offers any solace to her husband and teenage daughter, Eve.
Sharing their points of view in individual chapters, Brady reveals himself as a self-absorbed and tuned-out husband, Eve questions every aspect of her behavior toward her mom and both try desperately to make their way through their grief and back to each other.
It’s also an insightful examination of marriage and love and friendship and life.
First-time novelist Abby Fabiaschi unwinds a tale wholly compelling, altogether believable and, at times, so heartbreaking it’s hard to believe she isn’t already an established author. She demonstrates excellent timing and perfect control over the complicated narrative and never allows it to drift toward maudlin. She leaves readers a trail not of breadcrumbs, but gold coins that are irresistible.
And the ending, while perhaps a bit neat and tidy, is entirely unexpected. All in all, “I Liked My Life” is an impossible-to-put-down and impressive debut.
QUOTED: "The ending ... is entirely unexpected. All in all, I Liked My Life is an impossible-to-put-down and impressive debut."
AP
Book review: 'I Liked My Life' an impressive debut by Abby Fabiaschi
By Kim Curtis Associated Press Mar 5, 2017 0
The novel “I Liked My Life” begins with Madeline, its main character, assessing a potential new wife for her husband, Brady. It’s immediately clear she’s dead and speaking from a sort of limbo afterlife.
Within a dozen pages, readers learn that Maddy killed herself by jumping off a building, leaving no note, no explanation, nothing that offers any solace to her husband and teenage daughter, Eve.
Sharing their points of view in individual chapters, Brady reveals himself as a self-absorbed and tuned-out husband, Eve questions every aspect of her behavior toward her mom and both try desperately to make their way through their grief and back to each other.
It’s also an insightful examination of marriage and love and friendship and life.
First-time novelist Abby Fabiaschi unwinds a tale wholly compelling, altogether believable and, at times, so heartbreaking it’s hard to believe she isn’t already an established author. She demonstrates excellent timing and perfect control over the complicated narrative and never allows it to drift toward maudlin. She leaves readers a trail not of breadcrumbs but gold coins that are irresistible.
And the ending, while perhaps a bit neat and tidy, is entirely unexpected. All in all, “I Liked My Life” is an impossible-to-put-down and impressive debut.
QUOTED: "This is an ultimately uplifting story of forgiveness…of oneself and others…of vulnerability…of finding light amongst the darkness…and of love…finding it as well as losing it. The narration is brilliantly told."
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REVIEW: I LIKED MY LIFE BY ABBY FABIASCHI
POSTED ON MARCH 1, 2017
by Renee (Itsbooktalk)
29875926
From Goodreads
Maddy is a devoted stay-at-home wife and mother, host of excellent parties, giver of thoughtful gifts, and bestower of a searingly perceptive piece of advice or two. She is the cornerstone of her family, a true matriarch…until she commits suicide, leaving her husband Brady and teenage daughter Eve heartbroken and reeling, wondering what happened. How could the exuberant, exacting woman they loved disappear so abruptly, seemingly without reason, from their lives? How can they possibly continue without her? As they sift through details of her last days, trying to understand the woman they thought they knew, Brady and Eve are forced to come to terms with unsettling truths.
******
I actually like the blurb above, it says just enough but not too much in terms of plot. I have to say, this book almost got returned to the library unread (it’s a week late…oops) if it wasn’t for some passionate reviews from other bloggers on Goodreads, especially Deanna’s from Deesradreadsandreviews. Of course, I now know I would’ve seriously kicked myself had I returned this unread because it ended up ticking all of my favorite boxes for what I look for in an unputdownable read.
The story begins with Maddy , who from the Afterlife, is on the lookout for a replacement wife for her husband and fill in mother for her teenage daughter after her sudden death by suicide. What we quickly discover is Maddy seems remarkably decisive, rational, and witty yet is also heartbroken to have to watch her family suffer because of her actions. How could someone who so desperately tries to communicate with her husband and daughter have chosen to leave them by killing herself? These questions and so many, many others haunt Maddy’s husband Brady and her 17 year old daughter Eve. Through their painful and strained grief, both Eve and Brady are forced to learn how to navigate each other and life without Maddy, the glue that held their family together.
Now I don’t want you to think this is a “downer” of a book because it’s actually the complete opposite. This is an ultimately uplifting story of forgiveness…of oneself and others…of vulnerability…of finding light amongst the darkness…and of love…finding it as well as losing it. The narration is brilliantly told with alternating chapters between Maddy, Eve and Brady which enable us to get to know each character so well I began to think of them as real. Seriously, I wanted to give all three of them a swift kick at different points because sometimes the pain they caused each other was palpable to me! Yes, tissues were needed. Then, there were other times the humor and sarcasm was so touching and funny I laughed out loud. The way this was all achieved was the compelling, engaging writing style of the author. The best way I can describe how the writing felt to me is …effortless. It flowed with such a quiet intensity that I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough and by the time I reached the halfway mark, I finally looked up to see it was 1:00am! I love when that happens and I LOVED this book. Will Eve and Brady come to terms with and get the answers they so desperately seek about Maddy’s death? You’re going to have to read to find out and I’m pretty confident you’ll be happy you did…this is one of the best debut novels I’ve read in the past year!
5/5 Stars
QUOTED: "some readers may think the wait wasn’t worth it. Despite this, I Liked My Life makes a strong case for thinking about how well we can really know anyone and, in doing so, offers an important reminder of how easily even our deepest convictions can be shaken."
Book Review in Fiction
I Liked My Life: A Novel
By Abby Fabiaschi St. Martin’s Press 272 pp.
Reviewed by Virginia Pasley
February 2, 2017
How well do we really know our loved ones?
We meet the first narrator of I Liked My Life as she is choosing a new wife for her husband. Madeline is in this position because she is dead — watching her family from a place she suspects is like purgatory. Madeline vaguely says, “I put myself here.” Her daughter, Eve, the next narrator, tells us more bluntly that her mother jumped off a building.
From there, we are left to try to deduce what made Madeline do it. As the novel’s title indicates, the reason is not readily apparent; Madeline seemingly liked her life. The third narrator, Madeline’s husband, Brady, says, “I could watch the movie a thousand more times and still be shocked by the ending.”
Considering Madeline’s uncertainty about what will become of her and her family, she is relatively sanguine about her position in the great beyond.
“You would think intuitive faculties heighten after death, a sort of cosmic prize for crossing the finish line, but so far they have not,” Madeline muses in the first chapter. “The Last World sits unceremoniously like a movie screen below me. There’s no spirit offering guidance. I’m not gracefully soaring above in white satin gleaning insight on the existential questions that once kept me awake at night.”
Although Madeline says the Last World “haunts” her, she maintains a calm, wry, detached tone throughout the book. We are to understand this is not altogether different from how Madeline was in life: sarcastic, contemplative, and able to easily put into words the feelings that make other people frustrated and inarticulate.
After her sister, Meg, compiles a list of all the advice and favorite sayings she remembers from Madeline — to give to Eve — Madeline remembers having told Meg, “We’re given a gift of life with the consequence of death. I think it’d be a mistake to focus on the consequence instead of the gift.”
Meg considers this quality an older-sister trait — the “burden” of figuring everything out first. Others might instead see these things as evidence of an unusually grounded person. Which, of course, makes the central question of “why” more difficult to parse.
Brady and Eve largely focus their investigations on Madeline’s diary, which Brady reads while drinking bourbon each night and Eve steals to read surreptitiously during the day. In it, Madeline reveals frustration from feeling unappreciated and guilt relating to her own mother’s suicide. The diary appears to hold secrets that Madeline, a perfectionist homemaker and dedicated volunteer, guarded closely. However, the smoking gun remains elusive as each new theory Brady and Eve latch on to — an affair, a secret spiral into depression — becomes filled with holes.
Meanwhile, Madeline focuses much of her otherworldly energy on the aforementioned search for a new wife for Brady, who she believes will not do well without one. She settles on Rory, an elementary-school teacher in her 40s who, we find, has a tragic backstory of her own.
Rory seems like an impossibly kind person — endlessly able to absorb the stress and pain of others and give them back only support. This quality is tested by her brother, whom she occasionally snaps at when he claims he is unable to leave work and visit their dying mother.
She is, maybe, a little too harsh on him, but in the end it’s not really enough to humanize her or make her more three-dimensional. Madeline, at least, is dry and difficult to impress: She appears capable of hidden depths, a characteristic which helps keep the novel’s central mystery compelling. Rory does not, and it is hard to really root for such a convenient, thinly conceived character.
Madeline’s complex collection of motivations and her overall refusal to be easily analyzed prevent Brady and Eve’s obsessive search from feeling too circuitous. This is important, as the two spend much of the novel repeating themselves, going from feeling better to falling back into a black hole of grief — a cycle which is especially understandable given their total lack of warning that something was wrong with Madeline.
In fact, after a while, it is not Brady and Eve’s tendency to repeat themselves but Madeline’s continued coyness about the circumstances of her death that grates. The novel is long enough and Madeline is forthcoming enough as a character that her consistent silence about what really happened feels forced.
As Madeline remains stubbornly mute about the mystery throughout each successive chapter, the novel becomes more and more dependent on the strength of its ending. Madeline’s silence implies that what happened is important enough to save for last, leading readers to expect a plot twist. This leaves everything riding on the final chapter — and some readers may think the wait wasn’t worth it.
Despite this, I Liked My Life makes a strong case for thinking about how well we can really know anyone and, in doing so, offers an important reminder of how easily even our deepest convictions can be shaken.